Друзья: Ребёнок, забытый в автобусе - 1

You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?

ju noʊ, aɪ doʊnt θɪŋk wi brɔt ɪˈnəf stəf. dɪd ju fərˈgɛt tɪ pæk ðə ˈbeɪbiz ˈænvəl?

I'm telling you, it's going to be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all right? Women love guys who love babies. It's the whole

əm ˈtɛlɪŋ ju, ɪts goʊɪŋ tɪ bi wərθ ɪt. ɪts ə noʊn fækt ðət ˈwɪmən ləv ˈbeɪbiz, ɔl raɪt? ˈwɪmən ləv gaɪz hu ləv ˈbeɪbiz. ɪts ðə hoʊl

sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack of babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. Wait, forget them. We got one. Hard left. All right. Give me the baby.

ˈsɛnsɪtɪv θɪŋ. kwɪk, eɪm ɪm æt ðət pæk əv beɪbz ˈoʊvər ðɛr. ˈmeɪbi wən əv ðɛm wɪl breɪk əˈweɪ. weɪt, fərˈgɛt ðɛm. wi gɑt wən. hɑrd lɛft. ɔl raɪt. gɪv mi ðə ˈbeɪbi.

It’s ok. I got him.

it’s ˈoʊˈkeɪ. aɪ gɑt ɪm.

Come on, seriously.

kəm ɔn, ˈsɪriəsli.

Oh, seriously, you want him?

oʊ, ˈsɪriəsli, ju wɔnt ɪm?

Hello.

hɛˈloʊ.

Hello. Who is this little cutie-pie?

hɛˈloʊ. hu ɪz ðɪs ˈlɪtəl cutie-pie?

Well, don't think me immodest, but... me.

wɛl, doʊnt θɪŋk mi immodest, bət... mi.

Do you want to smell him?

du ju wɔnt tɪ smɛl ɪm?

I assume we're talking about the baby now?

aɪ əˈsum wɪr ˈtɔkɪŋ əˈbaʊt ðə ˈbeɪbi naʊ?

Oh, yeah. He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head.

oʊ, jæ. hiz gɑt ðət greɪt ˈbeɪbi smɛl. gɪt ə wɪf əv hɪz hɛd.

I think my uterus just skipped a beat.

aɪ θɪŋk maɪ ˈjutərəs ʤɪst skɪpt ə bit.

What'd I tell you?

ˈwətɪd aɪ tɛl ju?

I think it's great you guys are doing this.

aɪ θɪŋk ɪts greɪt ju gaɪz ər duɪŋ ðɪs.

Well, we are great guys.

wɛl, wi ər greɪt gaɪz.

You know, my brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt for three years. What agency did you two go through?

ju noʊ, maɪ ˈbrəðər ənd hɪz ˈbɔɪˌfrɛnd hæv bɪn traɪɪŋ tɪ əˈdɑpt fər θri jɪrz. wət ˈeɪʤənsi dɪd ju tu goʊ θru?

That was a good plan, Joe. Next time we want to pick up women, we should just go to the park and make out. Taxi! Taxi!

ðət wɑz ə gʊd plæn, ʤoʊ. nɛkst taɪm wi wɔnt tɪ pɪk əp ˈwɪmən, wi ʃʊd ʤɪst goʊ tɪ ðə pɑrk ənd meɪk aʊt. ˈtæksi! ˈtæksi!

Hey! Hey! Look at that talent.

heɪ! heɪ! lʊk æt ðət ˈtælənt.

Just practicing. You're good. Carry on.

ʤɪst ˈpræktɪsɪŋ. jʊr gʊd. ˈkɛri ɔn.

Wait, wait, wait!

weɪt, weɪt, weɪt!

Hey, you. He's just adorable.

heɪ, ju. hiz ʤɪst əˈdɔrəbəl.

Can you tell him that? Because he thinks he looks too pink.

kən ju tɛl ɪm ðət? bɪˈkəz hi θɪŋks hi lʊks tu pɪŋk.

So what are you guys out doing today?

soʊ wət ər ju gaɪz aʊt duɪŋ təˈdeɪ?

Oh. We’re not out! No, no. No. We're just two heterosexual guys hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend doing the usual straight-guy stuff.

oʊ. we’re nɑt aʊt! noʊ, noʊ. noʊ. wɪr ʤɪst tu ˌhɛtəroʊˈsɛkˌʃuəl gaɪz ˈhæŋɪŋ wɪθ ðə sən əv ɑr ˈəðər ˌhɛtəroʊˈsɛkˌʃuəl frɛnd duɪŋ ðə ˈjuʒəwəl straight-guy stəf.

You done?

ju dən?

Yeah!

jæ!

Oh, there's our stop.

oʊ, ðɛrz ɑr stɑp.

Get out of here! This is our stop.

gɪt aʊt əv hir! ðɪs ɪz ɑr stɑp.

You guys live around here too?

ju gaɪz lɪv əraʊnd hir tu?

Oh yeah. Sure. We live in the building by the, uh, sidewalk.

oʊ jæ. ʃʊr. wi lɪv ɪn ðə ˈbɪldɪŋ baɪ ðə, ə, ˈsaɪdˌwɔk.

You know it?

ju noʊ ɪt?

Since we're neighbors and all, what do you say we, uh, get together for a drink?

sɪns wɪr ˈneɪbərz ənd ɔl, wət du ju seɪ wi, ə, gɪt təˈgɛðər fər ə drɪŋk?

So, uh, do you want to go to Markel's?

soʊ, ə, du ju wɔnt tɪ goʊ tɪ markel's?

Oh, sure, they love us over there.

oʊ, ʃʊr, ðeɪ ləv ˈjuˈɛs ˈoʊvər ðɛr.

Hey, where's your baby?

heɪ, wɛrz jʊr ˈbeɪbi?

Ben! Ben! Ben! Ben!

bɛn! bɛn! bɛn! bɛn!

That's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord!

ðæts gʊd. ˈmeɪbi hil hir ju ənd pʊl ðə kɔrd!

Stop the bus! Hey! Hey, there's a baby! Wait, wait, wait!

stɑp ðə bəs! heɪ! heɪ, ðɛrz ə ˈbeɪbi! weɪt, weɪt, weɪt!

Come on! Pick up! Pick up!

kəm ɔn! pɪk əp! pɪk əp!

Hello, Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what somebody might do if they left a baby on a city bus.

hɛˈloʊ, ˈtrænzɪt əˈθɔrəti? jɛs, hɛˈloʊ. əm duɪŋ ˈrisərʧ fər ə bʊk, ənd aɪ wɑz ˈwəndərɪŋ wət ˈsəmˌbɑdi maɪt du ɪf ðeɪ lɛft ə ˈbeɪbi ɔn ə ˈsɪti bəs.

Yes, I realize that would be a stupid character.

jɛs, aɪ ˈriəˌlaɪz ðət wʊd bi ə ˈstupɪd ˈkɛrɪktər.

Hi. Here's the deal: We lost a car seat on a bus today. It's white plastic with a handle and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.

haɪ. hɪrz ðə dil: wi lɔst ə kɑr sit ɔn ə bəs təˈdeɪ. ɪts waɪt ˈplæstɪk wɪθ ə ˈhændəl ənd ɪt fɪts ˈɔntu ə ˈstroʊlər. oʊ, ənd ðɛr wɑz ə ˈbeɪbi ɪn ɪt. hi wɔnts tɪ tɔk tɪ ju əˈgɛn.