Друзья: Фиби и эволюция

What? You don't, you don't believe in evolution?

wət? ju doʊnt, ju doʊnt bɪˈliv ɪn ˌɛvəˈluʃən?

Nah. Not really.

nɑ. nɑt ˈrɪli.

You don't believe in evolution?

ju doʊnt bɪˈliv ɪn ˌɛvəˈluʃən?

I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.

aɪ doʊnt noʊ, ɪts ʤɪst, ju know...monkeys, ˈdɑrwɪn, ju noʊ, ɪts ə, ɪts ə nis ˈstɔri, aɪ ʤɪst θɪŋk ɪts ə ˈlɪtəl tu ˈizi.

Too easy? Too... The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms, is-is too easy?

tu ˈizi? tu... ðə ˈprɔˌsɛs əv ˈɛvəri ˈlɪvɪŋ θɪŋ ɔn ðɪs ˈplænət ɪˈvɑlvɪŋ ˈoʊvər ˈmɪljənz əv jɪrz frəm single-celled ˈɔrgəˌnɪzəmz, is-is tu ˈizi?

Yeah, I just don't buy it.

jæ, aɪ ʤɪst doʊnt baɪ ɪt.

Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.

ə, ɪkˈskjuz mi. ˌɛvəˈluʃən ɪz nɑt fər ju tɪ baɪ, ˈfibi. ˌɛvəˈluʃən ɪz ˌsaɪənˈtɪfɪk fækt, laɪk, laɪk, laɪk ðə ɛr wi brið, laɪk ˈgrævɪti.

Oh, don't get me started on gravity.

oʊ, doʊnt gɪt mi ˈstɑrtɪd ɔn ˈgrævɪti.

You uh, you don't believe in gravity?

ju ə, ju doʊnt bɪˈliv ɪn ˈgrævɪti?

Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just, I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not

wɛl, ɪts nɑt soʊ məʧ ðət ju noʊ, laɪk aɪ doʊnt bɪˈliv ɪn ɪt, ju noʊ, ɪts ʤɪst, aɪ doʊnt noʊ, ˈleɪtli aɪ gɪt ðə ˈfilɪŋ ðət əm nɑt

so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.

soʊ məʧ biɪŋ pʊld daʊn ɛz aɪ æm biɪŋ pʊʃt.

How can you not believe in evolution?

haʊ kən ju nɑt bɪˈliv ɪn ˌɛvəˈluʃən?

I don't know. just don't. Look at this funky shirt!

aɪ doʊnt noʊ. ʤɪst doʊnt. lʊk æt ðɪs ˈfəŋki ʃərt!

Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life, okay? I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the

pheebs, aɪ hæv ˈstədid ˌɛvəˈluʃən maɪ ɪnˈtaɪər ˈædəlt laɪf, ˌoʊˈkeɪ? aɪ kən tɛl ju, wi hæv kəˈlɛktəd ˈfɑsəlz frəm ɔl ˈoʊvər ðə wərld ðət ˈæˌkʧuəli ʃoʊ ðə

evolution of different species, okay? I mean you can literally see them evolving through time.

ˌɛvəˈluʃən əv ˈdɪfərənt ˈspiʃiz, ˌoʊˈkeɪ? aɪ min ju kən ˈlɪtərəli si ðɛm ɪˈvɑlvɪŋ θru taɪm.

Really? You can actually see it?

ˈrɪli? ju kən ˈæˌkʧuəli si ɪt?

You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over.

ju bɛt. ɪn ðə juz., ˈʧaɪnə, ˈæfrɪkɑ, ɔl ˈoʊvər.

See, I didn't know that.

si, aɪ ˈdɪdənt noʊ ðət.

Well, there you go.

wɛl, ðɛr ju goʊ.

Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why?

hə. soʊ naʊ, ðə ril kˈwɛʃən ɪz, hu pʊt ðoʊz ˈfɑsəlz ðɛr, ənd waɪ?

Ok, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? Opposable thumbs. Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs?

ˈoʊˈkeɪ, pheebs. si haʊ əm ˈmeɪkɪŋ ðiz ˈlɪtəl tɔɪz muv? opposable θəmz. wɪˈθaʊt ˌɛvəˈluʃən, haʊ du ju ɪkˈspleɪn opposable θəmz?

Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.

ˈmeɪbi ðə ˈoʊvərˌlɔrdz ˈnidɪd ðɛm tɪ stɪr ðɛr spacecrafts.

Please tell me you're joking.

pliz tɛl mi jʊr ˈʤoʊkɪŋ.

Look, can't we just say that you believe in something, and I don't.

lʊk, kænt wi ʤɪst seɪ ðət ju bɪˈliv ɪn ˈsəmθɪŋ, ənd aɪ doʊnt.

No, no, no, Pheebs, we can't, ok, because...

noʊ, noʊ, noʊ, pheebs, wi kænt, ˈoʊˈkeɪ, bɪˈkəz...

What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? You know what? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.

wət ɪz ðɪs əbˈsɛsɪv nid ju hæv tɪ meɪk ˈɛvriˌwən əˈgri wɪθ ju? noʊ, wəts ðət ɔl əˈbaʊt? ju noʊ wət? aɪ θɪŋk, aɪ θɪŋk ˈmeɪbi ɪts taɪm ju pʊt rɔs ˈəndər ðə ˈmaɪkrəˌskoʊp.

Uh-oh. It's Scary Scientist Man.

əoʊ. ɪts ˈskɛri ˈsaɪəntɪst mæn.

Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase, I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.

ˈoʊˈkeɪ, ˈfibi, ðɪs ɪz ɪt. ɪn ðɪs ˈbrifˌkeɪs, aɪ ˈkɛri ˈækʧəwəl ˌsaɪənˈtɪfɪk fækts. ə ˈbrifˌkeɪs əv fækts, ɪf ju wɪl. səm əv ðiz ˈfɑsəlz ər ˈoʊvər 200 ˈmɪljən jɪrz oʊld.

Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, okay? I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.

ˈoʊˈkeɪ, lʊk, ˌbiˈfɔr ju ˈivɪn stɑrt, əm nɑt dɪˈnaɪɪŋ ˌɛvəˈluʃən, ˌoʊˈkeɪ? əm ʤɪst seɪɪŋ ðət ɪts wən əv ðə ˌpɑsəˈbɪlətiz.

It's the only possibility, Phoebe.

ɪts ðə ˈoʊnli ˌpɑsəˈbɪləˌti, ˈfibi.

Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, okay? Now, wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And,

ˈoʊˈkeɪ, rɔs, kʊd ju ʤɪst ˈoʊpən jʊr maɪnd laɪk ðɪs məʧ, ˌoʊˈkeɪ? naʊ, ˈwəzənt ðɛr ə taɪm wɪn ðə ˈbraɪtəst maɪndz ɪn ðə wərld bɪˈlivd ðət ðə wərld wɑz flæt? ənd,

up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you

əp ənˈtɪl laɪk wət, 50 jɪrz əˈgoʊ, ju ɔl θɔt ðə ˈætəm wɑz ðə sˈmɔləst θɪŋ, ənˈtɪl ju splɪt ɪt ˈoʊpən, ənd ðɪs laɪk, hoʊl mɛs əv kræp keɪm aʊt. naʊ, ər ju

telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?

ˈtɛlɪŋ mi ðət ju ər soʊ ˌənbəˈlivəbli ˈɛrəgənt ðət ju kænt ədˈmɪt ðət ðɛrz ə ˈtini ˈtaɪni ˌpɑsəˈbɪləˌti ðət ju kʊd bi rɔŋ əˈbaʊt ðɪs?

There might be a teeny tiny possibility.

ðɛr maɪt bi ə ˈtini ˈtaɪni ˌpɑsəˈbɪləˌti.

I can't believe you caved.

aɪ kænt bɪˈliv ju keɪvd.

What?

wət?

You just abandoned your whole belief system. God! I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work

ju ʤɪst əˈbændənd jʊr hoʊl bɪˈlif ˈsɪstəm. gɑd! aɪ min, ˌbiˈfɔr, aɪ ˈdɪdənt əˈgri wɪθ ju, bət æt list aɪ rɪˈspɛktɪd ju. haʊ, haʊ, haʊ ər ju goʊɪŋ tɪ goʊ ˈɪntu wərk

tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh!

təˈmɑˌroʊ? haʊ, haʊ ər ju goʊɪŋ tɪ feɪs ðə ˈəðər saɪəns gaɪz? haʊ, haʊ ər ju goʊɪŋ tɪ feɪs ˈjɔrsɛlf? oʊ!

That was fun. So who's hungry?

ðət wɑz fən. soʊ huz ˈhəŋgri?