Друзья: Чендлер против задир - 2

Your cappuccino, sir.

jʊr ˌkæˌpuˈʧinoʊ, sər.

Thank you.

θæŋk ju.

You know, I think this is much better than coffeehouse.

ju noʊ, aɪ θɪŋk ðɪs ɪz məʧ ˈbɛtər ðən ˈkɔfiˌhaʊs.

Absolutely.

ˌæbsəˈlutli.

How come it's not mixing with the water?

haʊ kəm ɪts nɑt ˈmɪksɪŋ wɪθ ðə ˈwɔtər?

The package says you have to constantly keep it moving. Stir and drink. Stir and drink. Never let it settle.

ðə ˈpækɪʤ sɪz ju hæv tɪ ˈkɑnstəntli kip ɪt ˈmuvɪŋ. stər ənd drɪŋk. stər ənd drɪŋk. ˈnɛvər lɛt ɪt ˈsɛtəl.

Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my niece's christening, I'll go down to the coffeehouse with you

heɪ, ðɪs ɪz rɪˈdɪkjələs. aɪl tɛl ju wət. ˈæftər aɪ gɪt bæk frəm maɪ ˈnisɪz ˈkrɪsənɪŋ, aɪl goʊ daʊn tɪ ðə ˈkɔfiˌhaʊs wɪθ ju

and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee, all right. No problem. Joey's there, huh?

ənd wɪl ɔl hæv ə nis kəp əv ˈkɔfi, ɔl raɪt. noʊ ˈprɑbləm. ʤoʊiz ðɛr, hə?

Okay.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

No.

noʊ.

No?

noʊ?

No. I don't want to have to have Joey with me every time I want a decent cup of coffee. You know? And I don't want spend the rest of my life drinking

noʊ. aɪ doʊnt wɔnt tɪ hæv tɪ hæv ʤoʊi wɪθ mi ˈɛvəri taɪm aɪ wɔnt ə ˈdisənt kəp əv ˈkɔfi. ju noʊ? ənd aɪ doʊnt wɔnt spɛnd ðə rɛst əv maɪ laɪf ˈdrɪŋkɪŋ

cappuccino with a "k". I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys.

ˌkæˌpuˈʧinoʊ wɪθ ə "keɪ". aɪ seɪ ju ənd aɪ goʊ bæk daʊn ðɛr ənd stænd əp tɪ ðoʊz gaɪz.

All right, hang on a second there, Custer.

ɔl raɪt, hæŋ ɔn ə ˈsɛkənd ðɛr, ˈkəstər.

Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?

rɔs, hæv ju ˈɛvər bɪn ˈbitən əp ˌbiˈfɔr?

Yeah, sure.

jæ, ʃʊr.

By someone besides Monica?

baɪ ˈsəmˌwən ˌbiˈsaɪdz ˈmɑnɪkə?

No. So what? So what if we get beaten up. Maybe that's something every man has to go through once in his life. You know, like a rite of passage

noʊ. soʊ wət? soʊ wət ɪf wi gɪt ˈbitən əp. ˈmeɪbi ðæts ˈsəmθɪŋ ˈɛvəri mæn həz tɪ goʊ θru wəns ɪn hɪz laɪf. ju noʊ, laɪk ə raɪt əv ˈpæsɪʤ

or something.

ər ˈsəmθɪŋ.

Couldn't we just lose our virginities again? You know, because I think actually mine's growing back.

ˈkʊdənt wi ʤɪst luz ɑr virginities əˈgɛn? ju noʊ, bɪˈkəz aɪ θɪŋk ˈæˌkʧuəli maɪnz groʊɪŋ bæk.

Well, we did it. We're here. We are standing our ground. How long does a cup of coffee take.

wɛl, wi dɪd ɪt. wɪr hir. wi ər ˈstændɪŋ ɑr graʊnd. haʊ lɔŋ dɪz ə kəp əv ˈkɔfi teɪk.

Would you come on! Come on! Thank you.

wʊd ju kəm ɔn! kəm ɔn! θæŋk ju.

Yeah! There we go.

jæ! ðɛr wi goʊ.

I think we've proved our point.

aɪ θɪŋk wiv pruvd ɑr pɔɪnt.

Did you burn your mouth?

dɪd ju bərn jʊr maʊθ?

I cannot feel my tongue.

aɪ ˈkænɑt fil maɪ təŋ.

Bullies! Big bullies!

ˈbʊliz! bɪg ˈbʊliz!

Oh, look who's here. It's the weenies.

oʊ, lʊk huz hir. ɪts ðə weenies.

Did we not make ourselves clear the other day?

dɪd wi nɑt meɪk ɑrˈsɛlvz klɪr ðə ˈəðər deɪ?

Yes, and that's why we're here.

jɛs, ənd ðæts waɪ wɪr hir.

Yes, we're standing our ground, apparently.

jɛs, wɪr ˈstændɪŋ ɑr graʊnd, əˈpɛrəntli.

Let's do this, all right.

lɛts du ðɪs, ɔl raɪt.

Whoa, whoa. What you got there? A weapon?

woʊ, woʊ. wət ju gɑt ðɛr? ə ˈwɛpən?

It's a nice watch. I don't want to break it on your ribs.

ɪts ə nis wɔʧ. aɪ doʊnt wɔnt tɪ breɪk ɪt ɔn jʊr rɪbz.

All right, let's do this. Question: If I don't care about my watch, can I use it as a weapon?

ɔl raɪt, lɛts du ðɪs. kˈwɛʃən: ɪf aɪ doʊnt kɛr əˈbaʊt maɪ wɔʧ, kən aɪ juz ɪt ɛz ə ˈwɛpən?

What do you mean?

wət du ju min?

Well it's sharp, it's metal. I think I can do some, you know, serious damage with it.

wɛl ɪts ʃɑrp, ɪts ˈmɛtəl. aɪ θɪŋk aɪ kən du səm, ju noʊ, ˈsɪriəs ˈdæmɪʤ wɪθ ɪt.

No, you can't use your watch. Or your keys!

noʊ, ju kænt juz jʊr wɔʧ. ər jʊr kiz!

Okay.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there, all right?

lʊk, hɪrz wət wɪl du. wɪl pʊt ɔl kiz ənd ˈwɑʧɪz ɪn ðə hæt ˈoʊvər ðɛr, ɔl raɪt?

All right, come on, man. Let's do this!

ɔl raɪt, kəm ɔn, mæn. lɛts du ðɪs!

Before I forget, are we hitting faces?

ˌbiˈfɔr aɪ fərˈgɛt, ər wi ˈhɪtɪŋ ˈfeɪsɪz?

Of course we're hitting faces! Why wouldn't you hit faces?

əv kɔrs wɪr ˈhɪtɪŋ ˈfeɪsɪz! waɪ ˈwʊdənt ju hɪt ˈfeɪsɪz?

Well, because I have to work on Monday. I have a big presentation.

wɛl, bɪˈkəz aɪ hæv tɪ wərk ɔn ˈmənˌdeɪ. aɪ hæv ə bɪg ˌprɛzənˈteɪʃən.

Actually, you know, I have got to show this apartment tomorrow, and, you know, this no faces thing might not be a bad idea.

ˈæˌkʧuəli, ju noʊ, aɪ hæv gɑt tɪ ʃoʊ ðɪs əˈpɑrtmənt təˈmɑˌroʊ, ənd, ju noʊ, ðɪs noʊ ˈfeɪsɪz θɪŋ maɪt nɑt bi ə bæd aɪˈdiə.

Okay, nothing from the neck up.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, ˈnəθɪŋ frəm ðə nɛk əp.

All right.

ɔl raɪt.

Or the waist down. Danny's ovulating?

ər ðə weɪst daʊn. ˈdæniz ovulating?

Oh really? You guys are trying again?

oʊ ˈrɪli? ju gaɪz ər traɪɪŋ əˈgɛn?

Yeah.

jæ.

So let me just get this straight. So we're strictly talking about the middle?

soʊ lɛt mi ʤɪst gɪt ðɪs streɪt. soʊ wɪr ˈstrɪktli ˈtɔkɪŋ əˈbaʊt ðə ˈmɪdəl?

You want some of this? You want a piece of this? I'm standing here!

ju wɔnt səm əv ðɪs? ju wɔnt ə pis əv ðɪs? əm ˈstændɪŋ hir!

Hey, hey. Those guys are taking our stuff!

heɪ, heɪ. ðoʊz gaɪz ər ˈteɪkɪŋ ɑr stəf!

God, that was, that was amazing. That was incredible. You guys, you guys kicked butt!

gɑd, ðət wɑz, ðət wɑz əˈmeɪzɪŋ. ðət wɑz ˌɪnˈkrɛdəbəl. ju gaɪz, ju gaɪz kɪkt bət!

Us? What about you guys? Man, you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.

ˈjuˈɛs? wət əˈbaʊt ju gaɪz? mæn, ju ˈrɪli, bɪŋ, geɪv ɪt tɪ oʊld ˈmɪstər. klin bæk ðɛr. hi wɑz ə bɪg gaɪ.

Yeah he was, wasn't he?

jæ hi wɑz, ˈwəzənt hi?

I wouldn't know, having missed everything.

aɪ ˈwʊdənt noʊ, ˈhævɪŋ mɪst ˈɛvriˌθɪŋ.

Oh, don't do that to yourself. Any one of us could have tripped over that little girl's jumprope.

oʊ, doʊnt du ðət tɪ ˈjɔrsɛlf. ˈɛni wən əv ˈjuˈɛs kʊd hæv trɪpt ˈoʊvər ðət ˈlɪtəl gərlz jumprope.

So listen, guys, are we, are we okay here?

soʊ ˈlɪsən, gaɪz, ər wi, ər wi ˌoʊˈkeɪ hir?

We're okay.

wɪr ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

Okay, so can I have my hat back?

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, soʊ kən aɪ hæv maɪ hæt bæk?

No.

noʊ.