Друзья: Грязная квартира

Um, would you like to come in?

əm, wʊd ju laɪk tɪ kəm ɪn?

Did homo-erectus hunt with wooden tools?

dɪd ˈhoʊmoʊɪˈrɛktəs hənt wɪθ ˈwʊdən tulz?

According to recent findings!

əˈkɔrdɪŋ tɪ ˈrisənt ˈfaɪndɪŋz!

Here Mitzi! Here Mitzi!

hir ˈmɪtsi! hir ˈmɪtsi!

Mitzi is...?

ˈmɪtsi ɪz...?

My hamster. I hope she's okay. I haven't seen her in a while. Have a seat.

maɪ ˈhæmstər. aɪ hoʊp ʃiz ˌoʊˈkeɪ. aɪ ˈhævənt sin hər ɪn ə waɪl. hæv ə sit.

Oh hey, do you, uh... do you have any, um, Cinnamon Fruit Toasties?

oʊ heɪ, du ju, ə... du ju hæv ˈɛni, əm, ˈsɪnəmən frut toasties?

What?

wət?

Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...

wɛl, aɪ du! waɪ doʊnt wi goʊ bæk tɪ maɪ pleɪs, laɪt ə ˈkəpəl əv ˈkændəlz, breɪk ˈoʊpən ə bɑks əv ˈsɪnəmən frut toasties, ə...

I'd rather not.

aɪd ˈrəðər nɑt.

Oh, yeah. why not?

oʊ, jæ. waɪ nɑt?

Okay, don't take this the wrong way, but your place kind of has a weird smell.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, doʊnt teɪk ðɪs ðə rɔŋ weɪ, bət jʊr pleɪs kaɪnd əv həz ə wɪrd smɛl.

So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?

soʊ, ju ʤɪst lɛft? hər pleɪs wɑz ˈrɪli ðət bæd?

You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day?

ju noʊ haʊ ju θroʊ jʊr ˈʤækɪt ɔn ə ʧɛr æt ðə ɛnd əv ðə deɪ?

Yeah.

jæ.

Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead

wɛl, laɪk ðət, ˈoʊnli ˌɪnˈstɛd əv ə ʧɛr, ɪts ə paɪl əv ˈgɑrbɪʤ. ənd ˌɪnˈstɛd əv ə ˈʤækɪt, ɪts ə paɪl əv ˈgɑrbɪʤ. ənd ˌɪnˈstɛd

of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! Here.

əv ðə ɛnd əv ðə deɪ, ɪts ðə ɛnd əv taɪm, ənd ˈgɑrbɪʤ ɪz ɔl ðət həz sərˈvaɪvd! hir.

Wow. Thanks. So, what happened?

waʊ. θæŋks. soʊ, wət ˈhæpənd?

What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.

wət du ju min? ˈnəθɪŋ ˈhæpənd! aɪ hæd tɪ gɪt aʊt əv ðɛr.

All right, so next time, you take her to your place.

ɔl raɪt, soʊ nɛkst taɪm, ju teɪk hər tɪ jʊr pleɪs.

No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.

noʊ, aɪ traɪd ðət. ʃi sɪz ɪt həz ə wɪrd smɛl.

What kind of smell?

wət kaɪnd əv smɛl?

I don't know. Soap?

aɪ doʊnt noʊ. soʊp?

All right, listen, Ross, you like this girl, right?

ɔl raɪt, ˈlɪsən, rɔs, ju laɪk ðɪs gərl, raɪt?

Yeah.

jæ.

You want to see her again, right?

ju wɔnt tɪ si hər əˈgɛn, raɪt?

Yeah.

jæ.

So you're going to have to do it in the mess!

soʊ jʊr goʊɪŋ tɪ hæv tɪ du ɪt ɪn ðə mɛs!

Yeah, okay, you're right.

jæ, ˌoʊˈkeɪ, jʊr raɪt.

Yeah.

jæ.

I mean, who cares about a little sloppiness?

aɪ min, hu kɛrz əˈbaʊt ə ˈlɪtəl sˈlɑpinəs?

Yeah!

jæ!

It's endearing, really.

ɪts ɛnˈdirɪŋ, ˈrɪli.

All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! Oink!

ɔl raɪt! naʊ ju goʊ gɪt ðət ˈbjutəfəl pɪg! oink!

So you want to come inside?

soʊ ju wɔnt tɪ kəm ˌɪnˈsaɪd?

Yes. Yes I do.

jɛs. jɛs aɪ du.

I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable.

aɪl bi raɪt bæk. meɪk ˈjɔrsɛlf ˈkəmfərtəbəl.

Guess who?

gɛs hu?

Department of Sanitation?

dɪˈpɑrtmənt əv ˌsænɪˈteɪʃən?

It's me!

ɪts mi!

Oh! Ah. Aw!

oʊ! ɑ. ɔ!

What?

wət?

Aw, Cheryl!

ɔ, ˈʃɛrəl!

Oh, Ross!

oʊ, rɔs!

Wait! No! No! It's my hamster! It's Mitzi!

weɪt! noʊ! noʊ! ɪts maɪ ˈhæmstər! ɪts ˈmɪtsi!

Oh my God! I'm so sorry, Cheryl. I must have freaked out.

oʊ maɪ gɑd! əm soʊ ˈsɑri, ˈʃɛrəl. aɪ məst hæv frikt aʊt.

Oh, thank God. It's not Mitzi. It's just a rat.

oʊ, θæŋk gɑd. ɪts nɑt ˈmɪtsi. ɪts ʤɪst ə ræt.

Hi. You don't know me. It's too bad that didn't work out.

haɪ. ju doʊnt noʊ mi. ɪts tu bæd ðət ˈdɪdənt wərk aʊt.

Yeah. Anyway, he told me about your apartment. And, I couldn't sleep thinking about it. So, would it be okay if I cleaned it?

jæ. ˈɛniˌweɪ, hi toʊld mi əˈbaʊt jʊr əˈpɑrtmənt. ənd, aɪ ˈkʊdənt slip ˈθɪŋkɪŋ əˈbaʊt ɪt. soʊ, wʊd ɪt bi ˌoʊˈkeɪ ɪf aɪ klind ɪt?

No?

noʊ?