Офис: Заявление о приёме на работу

Okay. Greatest strength.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ. ˈgreɪtəst strɛŋθ.

Okay, okay.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

A dog-like obedience to authority.

ə dog-like oʊˈbidiəns tɪ əˈθɔrəti.

Nice.

nis.

But that doesn't sound good.

bət ðət ˈdəzənt saʊnd gʊd.

Okay, okay. How about the ultimate team player?

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, ˌoʊˈkeɪ. haʊ əˈbaʊt ðə ˈəltəmət tim pleɪər?

Dwight is special. But I don't believe that his talents are being used in this office. So Pam and I have put his resume on Monster.Com, Google,

dwaɪt ɪz ˈspɛʃəl. bət aɪ doʊnt bɪˈliv ðət hɪz ˈtælənts ər biɪŋ juzd ɪn ðɪs ˈɔfəs. soʊ pæm ənd aɪ hæv pʊt hɪz ˈrɛzəˌmeɪ ɔn monster.com, ˈgugəl,

Craig's List. We're really interested most in jobs that take Dwight out of state. Preferably Alaska or India.

kreɪgz lɪst. wɪr ˈrɪli ˈɪntəˌrɛstɪd moʊst ɪn ʤɑbz ðət teɪk dwaɪt aʊt əv steɪt. ˈprɛfərəbli əˈlæskə ər ˈɪndiə.

He's a gun nut.

hiz ə gən nət.

Mmmm, Sticks to his guns.

mmmm, stɪks tɪ hɪz gənz.

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Yeah. Just one second. I will transfer you to our manager, Michael Scott.

dunder ˈmɪflɪn, ðɪs ɪz pæm. jæ. ʤɪst wən ˈsɛkənd. aɪ wɪl ˈtrænsfər ju tɪ ɑr ˈmænɪʤər, ˈmaɪkəl skɑt.

Michael Scott here.

ˈmaɪkəl skɑt hir.

Yes, I am regional manager of this orifice.

jɛs, aɪ æm ˈriʤənəl ˈmænɪʤər əv ðɪs ˈɔrəfəs.

Dwight Schrute is amazing.

dwaɪt schrute ɪz əˈmeɪzɪŋ.

Yeah. No, he is actually the single greatest employee of his generation.

jæ. noʊ, hi ɪz ˈæˌkʧuəli ðə ˈsɪŋgəl ˈgreɪtəst ɪmˈplɔɪi əv hɪz ˌʤɛnərˈeɪʃən.

You know what? I'm gonna tell you what. You hire Dwight K. Schrute and he does not meet, nay, exceed every one of your wildest expectations, well,

ju noʊ wət? əm ˈgɑnə tɛl ju wət. ju haɪər dwaɪt keɪ. schrute ənd hi dɪz nɑt mit, neɪ, ɪkˈsid ˈɛvəri wən əv jʊr ˈwaɪldɪst ˌɛkspɛkˈteɪʃənz, wɛl,

then, you can hold me, Michael Gary Scott personally and financially responsible.

ðɛn, ju kən hoʊld mi, ˈmaɪkəl ˈgɛri skɑt ˈpərsənəli ənd ˌfaɪˈnænʃəli riˈspɑnsəbəl.

Okay. Okay. Okay-kay-kay. Okay.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ. ˌoʊˈkeɪ. okay-kay-kay. ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

Cumberland Mills?

ˈkəmbərlənd mɪlz?

And how did you get my resume?

ənd haʊ dɪd ju gɪt maɪ ˈrɛzəˌmeɪ?

Oh, no, no. I'm very flattered. Don't get me wrong. I'm just not sure that it's my official resume or if it's something that maybe a satisfied

oʊ, noʊ, noʊ. əm ˈvɛri ˈflætərd. doʊnt gɪt mi rɔŋ. əm ʤɪst nɑt ʃʊr ðət ɪts maɪ əˈfɪʃəl ˈrɛzəˌmeɪ ər ɪf ɪts ˈsəmθɪŋ ðət ˈmeɪbi ə ˈsætɪsˌfaɪd

customer posted online.

ˈkəstəmər ˈpoʊstɪd ˈɔnˌlaɪn.

What does it say under martial arts training?

wət dɪz ɪt seɪ ˈəndər ˈmɑrʃəl ɑrts ˈtreɪnɪŋ?

Oh, okay, I'm gonna have to supplement that. Could I have your fax number?

oʊ, ˌoʊˈkeɪ, əm ˈgɑnə hæv tɪ ˌsəpləˈmɛnt ðət. kʊd aɪ hæv jʊr fæks ˈnəmbər?

Would I ever leave this company? Look, I'm all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I'm getting paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were

wʊd aɪ ˈɛvər liv ðɪs ˈkəmpəˌni? lʊk, əm ɔl əˈbaʊt ˈlɔɪəlti. ɪn fækt, aɪ fil laɪk pɑrt əv wət əm ˈgɪtɪŋ peɪd fər hir ɪz maɪ ˈlɔɪəlti. bət ɪf ðɛr wər

somewhere else that valued that loyalty more highly, I'm going wherever they value loyalty the most.

ˈsəmˌwɛr ɛls ðət ˈvæljud ðət ˈlɔɪəlti mɔr ˈhaɪli, əm goʊɪŋ wɛˈrɛvər ðeɪ ˈvælju ˈlɔɪəlti ðə moʊst.

So you got the fax.

soʊ ju gɑt ðə fæks.

So why didn't you add it to the resume?

soʊ waɪ ˈdɪdənt ju æd ɪt tɪ ðə ˈrɛzəˌmeɪ?

What do you mean? Of course, martial arts training is relevant.

wət du ju min? əv kɔrs, ˈmɑrʃəl ɑrts ˈtreɪnɪŋ ɪz ˈrɛləvənt.

Oh, excuse me, I know about a billion Asians that would beg to differ.

oʊ, ɪkˈskjuz mi, aɪ noʊ əˈbaʊt ə ˈbɪljən ˈeɪʒənz ðət wʊd bɛg tɪ ˈdɪfər.

Yeah, I get a little frustrated when I'm dealing with incompetence!

jæ, aɪ gɪt ə ˈlɪtəl ˈfrəˌstreɪtəd wɪn əm ˈdilɪŋ wɪθ ˌɪnˈkɑmpətəns!

Well, you know what? You can go to hell, too, and I will see you there burning.

wɛl, ju noʊ wət? ju kən goʊ tɪ hɛl, tu, ənd aɪ wɪl si ju ðɛr ˈbərnɪŋ.

Fine. Oh, wait, so you'll let me know when you've made a decision.

faɪn. oʊ, weɪt, soʊ jul lɛt mi noʊ wɪn juv meɪd ə dɪˈsɪʒən.