Офис: Кого уволить

Happy Halloween, everyone! Oh, that's great.

ˈhæpi ˌhæləˈwin, ˈɛvriˌwən! oʊ, ðæts greɪt.

Hey.

heɪ.

Happy Halloween. Jan called.

ˈhæpi ˌhæləˈwin. ʤæn kɔld.

Okay.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

I know why she's calling. It's the end of the month, and I was supposed to let somebody go by the

aɪ noʊ waɪ ʃiz ˈkɔlɪŋ. ɪts ðə ɛnd əv ðə mənθ, ənd aɪ wɑz səˈpoʊzd tɪ lɛt ˈsəmˌbɑdi goʊ baɪ ðə

end of the month. And somehow I'm supposed to put on a costume and smile. Okay.

ɛnd əv ðə mənθ. ənd ˈsəmˌhaʊ əm səˈpoʊzd tɪ pʊt ɔn ə ˈkɑstum ənd smaɪl. ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

Jan Levinson's office.

ʤæn ˈlɛvɪnsənz ˈɔfəs.

Hey, Sherry, Michael Scott returning.

heɪ, ˈʃɛri, ˈmaɪkəl skɑt rɪˈtərnɪŋ.

Oh, she's in a meeting. She just wanted the name of the employee you let go.

oʊ, ʃiz ɪn ə ˈmitɪŋ. ʃi ʤɪst ˈwɔntɪd ðə neɪm əv ðə ɪmˈplɔɪi ju lɛt goʊ.

Well, I'm going to wait until the end of the day because the book said it's best to wait until the end of the day.

wɛl, əm goʊɪŋ tɪ weɪt ənˈtɪl ðə ɛnd əv ðə deɪ bɪˈkəz ðə bʊk sɛd ɪts bɛst tɪ weɪt ənˈtɪl ðə ɛnd əv ðə deɪ.

I just need the name of who you're planning to let go.

aɪ ʤɪst nid ðə neɪm əv hu jʊr ˈplænɪŋ tɪ lɛt goʊ.

I don't know yet. I will have to call her back.

aɪ doʊnt noʊ jɛt. aɪ wɪl hæv tɪ kɔl hər bæk.

I know she wanted the name.

aɪ noʊ ʃi ˈwɔntɪd ðə neɪm.

Okay, Sherry?

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, ˈʃɛri?

Yeah.

jæ.

If you were getting fired, how would you want to be told so that you could still be friends with the person firing you?

ɪf ju wər ˈgɪtɪŋ faɪərd, haʊ wʊd ju wɔnt tɪ bi toʊld soʊ ðət ju kʊd stɪl bi frɛndz wɪθ ðə ˈpərsən ˈfaɪərrɪŋ ju?

Jan wants the name as soon as possible, Michael.

ʤæn wɔnts ðə neɪm ɛz sun ɛz ˈpɑsəbəl, ˈmaɪkəl.

Thanks. I'll call her back. I wish I could fire Sherry.

θæŋks. aɪl kɔl hər bæk. aɪ wɪʃ aɪ kʊd faɪər ˈʃɛri.

Hey, I'm still here.

heɪ, əm stɪl hir.

Okay. I'm sorry.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ. əm ˈsɑri.

Yeah.

jæ.

No.

noʊ.

Okay.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

Bye.

baɪ.

Hanging up now.

ˈhæŋɪŋ əp naʊ.

Honestly, I don't think Michael has the slightest clue of who he's going to fire. I think he keeps hoping that someone's going to

ˈɑnəstli, aɪ doʊnt θɪŋk ˈmaɪkəl həz ðə sˈlaɪtəst klu əv hu hiz goʊɪŋ tɪ faɪər. aɪ θɪŋk hi kips ˈhoʊpɪŋ ðət ˈsəmˌwənz goʊɪŋ tɪ

volunteer, or be run over by a bus before the deadline. But in the end, really, what's going to happen is it's going to be the first person

ˌvɑlənˈtɪr, ər bi rən ˈoʊvər baɪ ə bəs ˌbiˈfɔr ðə ˈdɛˌdlaɪn. bət ɪn ðə ɛnd, ˈrɪli, wəts goʊɪŋ tɪ ˈhæpən ɪz ɪts goʊɪŋ tɪ bi ðə fərst ˈpərsən

to give him a dirty look in the hall. And therein lies the true essence of his charisma.

tɪ gɪv ɪm ə ˈdərti lʊk ɪn ðə hɔl. ənd ðɛˈrɪn laɪz ðə tru ˈɛsəns əv hɪz kərˈɪzmə.

Can I speak to you a minute?

kən aɪ spik tɪ ju ə ˈmɪnət?

Yes. Michael, I really didn't mean to

jɛs. ˈmaɪkəl, aɪ ˈrɪli ˈdɪdənt min tɪ

Help me.

hɛlp mi.

I'm sorry?

əm ˈsɑri?

I want you to roleplay firing me. I want you to fire me, and I will take it.

aɪ wɔnt ju tɪ roleplay ˈfaɪərrɪŋ mi. aɪ wɔnt ju tɪ faɪər mi, ənd aɪ wɪl teɪk ɪt.

Oh, you want me to be you.

oʊ, ju wɔnt mi tɪ bi ju.

Yes.

jɛs.

Okay.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

I want you to be me and I will be Creed.

aɪ wɔnt ju tɪ bi mi ənd aɪ wɪl bi krid.

Oh, are you firing Creed?

oʊ, ər ju ˈfaɪərrɪŋ krid?

No, no, no. That's just first thing came... Can't... That head...

noʊ, noʊ, noʊ. ðæts ʤɪst fərst θɪŋ keɪm... kænt... ðət hɛd...

We should switch seats in order to

wi ʃʊd swɪʧ sits ɪn ˈɔrdər tɪ

Yes, that's a good idea.

jɛs, ðæts ə gʊd aɪˈdiə.

All right? Excuse me.

ɔl raɪt? ɪkˈskjuz mi.

I'm really sorry, but I have to let you go. And it's purely budgetary. It's not personal.

əm ˈrɪli ˈsɑri, bət aɪ hæv tɪ lɛt ju goʊ. ənd ɪts ˈpjʊrli ˈbəʤɪˌtɛri. ɪts nɑt ˈpərsɪnəl.

I'm going to kill myself!

əm goʊɪŋ tɪ kɪl ˌmaɪˈsɛlf!

Wow.

waʊ.

I'm going to kill myself and it's your fault!

əm goʊɪŋ tɪ kɪl ˌmaɪˈsɛlf ənd ɪts jʊr fɔlt!

That's an overreaction.

ðæts ən ˈoʊvərriˌækʃən.