Компьютерщики: Знакомство с интернетом

What is it?

wət ɪz ɪt?

This, Jen, is the Internet.

ðɪs, ʤɛn, ɪz ðə ˈɪntərˌnɛt.

What?

wət?

That's right.

ðæts raɪt.

This is the Internet? The whole Internet?

ðɪs ɪz ðə ˈɪntərˌnɛt? ðə hoʊl ˈɪntərˌnɛt?

Yep. I asked for a loan of it so that you could use it in your speech.

jɛp. aɪ æst fər ə loʊn əv ɪt soʊ ðət ju kʊd juz ɪt ɪn jʊr spiʧ.

It's so small.

ɪts soʊ smɔl.

That's one of the surprising things about it.

ðæts wən əv ðə səˈpraɪzɪŋ θɪŋz əˈbaʊt ɪt.

Hang on, it doesn't have any wires or anything.

hæŋ ɔn, ɪt ˈdəzənt hæv ˈɛni waɪərz ər ˈɛniˌθɪŋ.

It's wireless.

ɪts ˈwaɪrlɪs.

Oh, yes, everything's wireless nowadays, isn't it yeah. So I can really use it in my speech? What if someone needs it?

oʊ, jɛs, ˈɛvriˌθɪŋz ˈwaɪrlɪs ˈnaʊəˌdeɪz, ˈɪzənt ɪt jæ. soʊ aɪ kən ˈrɪli juz ɪt ɪn maɪ spiʧ? wət ɪf ˈsəmˌwən nidz ɪt?

Oh, no, no, people still be able to go online and everything. It will still work.

oʊ, noʊ, noʊ, ˈpipəl stɪl bi ˈeɪbəl tɪ goʊ ˈɔnˌlaɪn ənd ˈɛvriˌθɪŋ. ɪt wɪl stɪl wərk.

Oh, good.

oʊ, gʊd.

I tell you, you present this to the shareholders, and you will get quite a response.

aɪ tɛl ju, ju ˈprɛzənt ðɪs tɪ ðə ˈʃɛˌrhoʊldərz, ənd ju wɪl gɪt kwaɪt ə rɪˈspɑns.

Can I touch it? Ooh, it's so light.

kən aɪ təʧ ɪt? u, ɪts soʊ laɪt.

Of course it is, Jen. The Internet doesn't weigh anything.

əv kɔrs ɪt ɪz, ʤɛn. ðə ˈɪntərˌnɛt ˈdəzənt weɪ ˈɛniˌθɪŋ.

Ha-ha. No, of course it doesn't. Ha-ha. Ha-ha.

ˌhɑˈhɑ. noʊ, əv kɔrs ɪt ˈdəzənt. ˌhɑˈhɑ. ˌhɑˈhɑ.

Hey! What is Jen doing with the Internet?

heɪ! wət ɪz ʤɛn duɪŋ wɪθ ðə ˈɪntərˌnɛt?

Moss said I could use it for my speech.

mɔs sɛd aɪ kʊd juz ɪt fər maɪ spiʧ.

Are you insane? What if she drops it?

ər ju ˌɪnˈseɪn? wət ɪf ʃi drɑps ɪt?

I won't drop it. I'll look after it.

aɪ woʊnt drɔp ɪt. aɪl lʊk ˈæftər ɪt.

No. No, no, no, no, Jen. No, this needs to go straight back to Big Ben.

noʊ. noʊ, noʊ, noʊ, noʊ, ʤɛn. noʊ, ðɪs nidz tɪ goʊ streɪt bæk tɪ bɪg bɛn.

Big Ben?

bɪg bɛn?

Yeah. It goes on top of Big Ben. That's where you get the best reception.

jæ. ɪt goʊz ɔn tɔp əv bɪg bɛn. ðæts wɛr ju gɪt ðə bɛst rɪˈsɛpʃən.

But I promise I won't let anything happen to it.

bət aɪ ˈprɑməs aɪ woʊnt lɛt ˈɛniˌθɪŋ ˈhæpən tɪ ɪt.

No, Jen, I'm sorry. The elders of the Internet would never stand for it.

noʊ, ʤɛn, əm ˈsɑri. ðə ˈɛldərz əv ðə ˈɪntərˌnɛt wʊd ˈnɛvər stænd fər ɪt.

No, no, Roy. I spoke to the elders of the Internet not one hour ago. I told them about Jen winning the employee of the month. And they were so impressed that they wanted to do whatever they could to help.

noʊ, noʊ, rɔɪ. aɪ spoʊk tɪ ðə ˈɛldərz əv ðə ˈɪntərˌnɛt nɑt wən aʊər əˈgoʊ. aɪ toʊld ðɛm əˈbaʊt ʤɛn ˈwɪnɪŋ ðə ɪmˈplɔɪi əv ðə mənθ. ənd ðeɪ wər soʊ ˌɪmˈprɛst ðət ðeɪ ˈwɔntɪd tɪ du ˌwəˈtɛvər ðeɪ kʊd tɪ hɛlp.

Wait a minute, the elders of the Internet? The elders of the Internet know who I am? You've got to let me have it!

weɪt ə ˈmɪnət, ðə ˈɛldərz əv ðə ˈɪntərˌnɛt? ðə ˈɛldərz əv ðə ˈɪntərˌnɛt noʊ hu aɪ æm? juv gɑt tɪ lɛt mi hæv ɪt!

No, Jen, I'm sorry. It's just too risky.

noʊ, ʤɛn, əm ˈsɑri. ɪts ʤɪst tu ˈrɪski.

Oh, please, Roy.

oʊ, pliz, rɔɪ.

Well, Moss, has it been completely demagnetised?

wɛl, mɔs, həz ɪt bɪn kəmˈplitli demagnetised?

By Stephen Hawking himself. He sends his congratulations by the way.

baɪ ˈstivən ˈhɔkɪŋ hɪmˈsɛlf. hi sɛndz hɪz kənˌgræʧəˈleɪʃənz baɪ ðə weɪ.

Well, if it's Okay with the Hawk.

wɛl, ɪf ɪts ˌoʊˈkeɪ wɪθ ðə hɔk.

So, can I have it?

soʊ, kən aɪ hæv ɪt?

You can.

ju kən.

Oh, don't forget your speech.

oʊ, doʊnt fərˈgɛt jʊr spiʧ.

Oh, thank you.

oʊ, θæŋk ju.

Slowly.

sˈloʊli.