Компьютерщики: Речь

Wow! That's quite something. Quite an honour.

waʊ! ðæts kwaɪt ˈsəmθɪŋ. kwaɪt ən ˈɑnər.

I know.

aɪ noʊ.

They must be very impressed with you.

ðeɪ məst bi ˈvɛri ˌɪmˈprɛst wɪθ ju.

I didn't even know they had an Employee of the Month thing here.

aɪ ˈdɪdənt ˈivɪn noʊ ðeɪ hæd ən ɪmˈplɔɪi əv ðə mənθ θɪŋ hir.

Really? I thought you won it once.

ˈrɪli? aɪ θɔt ju wən ɪt wəns.

No, everyone thought I was dead.

noʊ, ˈɛvriˌwən θɔt aɪ wɑz dɛd.

Aha.

ˌɑˈhɑ.

Employee of the Month.

ɪmˈplɔɪi əv ðə mənθ.

Yeah, it's a valued title.

jæ, ɪts ə ˈvæljud ˈtaɪtəl.

Have you ever won it?

hæv ju ˈɛvər wən ɪt?

Er, no. No, I haven't. I don't know, Jen, sometimes I think it's because I just want it so damn much!

ər, noʊ. noʊ, aɪ ˈhævənt. aɪ doʊnt noʊ, ʤɛn, ˈsəmˌtaɪmz aɪ θɪŋk ɪts bɪˈkəz aɪ ʤɪst wɔnt ɪt soʊ dæm məʧ!

I am the Employee of the Month.

aɪ æm ðə ɪmˈplɔɪi əv ðə mənθ.

And yet, to a casual observer, it would appear that you do very little around here.

ənd jɛt, tɪ ə ˈkæʒəwəl əbˈzərvər, ɪt wʊd əˈpɪr ðət ju du ˈvɛri ˈlɪtəl əraʊnd hir.

Yeah. They must have seen through that. I think someone up there must have sensed something in me, something I've always known was there - a greatness?

jæ. ðeɪ məst hæv sin θru ðət. aɪ θɪŋk ˈsəmˌwən əp ðɛr məst hæv sɛnst ˈsəmθɪŋ ɪn mi, ˈsəmθɪŋ aɪv ˈɔlˌweɪz noʊn wɑz ðɛr ə ˈgreɪtnəs?

Sit down.

sɪt daʊn.

Is this a new desk?

ɪz ðɪs ə nu dɛsk?

Yeah. I thought I needed some new furniture, so I got some stuff from upstairs. Sit down please.

jæ. aɪ θɔt aɪ ˈnidɪd səm nu ˈfərnɪʧər, soʊ aɪ gɑt səm stəf frəm əpˈstɛrz. sɪt daʊn pliz.

So, what's your speech going to be about?

soʊ, wəts jʊr spiʧ goʊɪŋ tɪ bi əˈbaʊt?

What speech?

wət spiʧ?

Every Employee of the Month has to give a speech in their area of expertise.

ˈɛvəri ɪmˈplɔɪi əv ðə mənθ həz tɪ gɪv ə spiʧ ɪn ðɛr ˈɛriə əv ˌɛkspərˈtiz.

Which for you is "compu-ters".

wɪʧ fər ju ɪz "compu-ters".

Where do I have to--?

wɛr du aɪ hæv tɪ--?

At the monthly shareholders' meeting.

æt ðə ˈmənθli ˈʃɛˌrhoʊldərz' ˈmitɪŋ.

When do I have to...?

wɪn du aɪ hæv tɪ...?

Friday.

ˈfraɪˌdeɪ.

What time...?

wət taɪm...?

Morning.

ˈmɔrnɪŋ.

I think maybe it'd be a good idea if you two contributed to this.

aɪ θɪŋk ˈmeɪbi ˈɪtəd bi ə gʊd aɪˈdiə ɪf ju tu kənˈtrɪbjutɪd tɪ ðɪs.

Oh, yeah? Why?

oʊ, jæ? waɪ?

I think it would give you experience in writing a speech for a public figure.

aɪ θɪŋk ɪt wʊd gɪv ju ɪkˈspɪriəns ɪn ˈraɪtɪŋ ə spiʧ fər ə ˈpəblɪk ˈfɪgjər.

Well, obviously, in our line of work that would be handy. But you know what, Jen? I'm actually snowed under here.

wɛl, ˈɑbviəsli, ɪn ɑr laɪn əv wərk ðət wʊd bi ˈhændi. bət ju noʊ wət, ʤɛn? əm ˈæˌkʧuəli snoʊd ˈəndər hir.

Wait a second. Wait a second! Oh! Oh, what are we doing?!

weɪt ə ˈsɛkənd. weɪt ə ˈsɛkənd! oʊ! oʊ, wət ər wi duɪŋ?!

Huh?

hə?

We should totally write that speech!

wi ʃʊd ˈtoʊtəli raɪt ðət spiʧ!

What? Why?

wət? waɪ?

OK, offer to write the speech for Jen.

ˈoʊˈkeɪ, ˈɔfər tɪ raɪt ðə spiʧ fər ʤɛn.

No.

noʊ.

You have to. I can't do it. She'll know something's up if I do it. You have to do it.

ju hæv tɪ. aɪ kænt du ɪt. ʃil noʊ ˈsəmθɪŋz əp ɪf aɪ du ɪt. ju hæv tɪ du ɪt.

Why would I do that?

waɪ wʊd aɪ du ðət?

Moss, do you trust me?

mɔs, du ju trəst mi?

No.

noʊ.

If you trust me, then offer to write that speech.

ɪf ju trəst mi, ðɛn ˈɔfər tɪ raɪt ðət spiʧ.

I. Don't. Trust. You.

aɪ. doʊnt. trəst. ju.

Hello?

hɛˈloʊ?

I feel really bad, having all the fun writing this speech.

aɪ fil ˈrɪli bæd, ˈhævɪŋ ɔl ðə fən ˈraɪtɪŋ ðɪs spiʧ.

Do it. Offer, offer, offer.

du ɪt. ˈɔfər, ˈɔfər, ˈɔfər.

Well, I suppose we could write the speech so that, you know, you look like you know what you're talking about.

wɛl, aɪ səˈpoʊz wi kʊd raɪt ðə spiʧ soʊ ðət, ju noʊ, ju lʊk laɪk ju noʊ wət jʊr ˈtɔkɪŋ əˈbaʊt.

Thanks. I'm off for lunch. Leave it on my desk.

θæŋks. əm ɔf fər lənʧ. liv ɪt ɔn maɪ dɛsk.

My God!

maɪ gɑd!

I know.

aɪ noʊ.

That's brilliant!

ðæts ˈbrɪljənt!

So now you understand why we have to write that speech for Jen.

soʊ naʊ ju ˌəndərˈstænd waɪ wi hæv tɪ raɪt ðət spiʧ fər ʤɛn.

She will say anything we tell her to.

ʃi wɪl seɪ ˈɛniˌθɪŋ wi tɛl hər tɪ.

She will say anything we tell her to. We can put any old bollocks in that speech, and she shall repeat it. It's going to be hilarious.

ʃi wɪl seɪ ˈɛniˌθɪŋ wi tɛl hər tɪ. wi kən pʊt ˈɛni oʊld bollocks ɪn ðət spiʧ, ənd ʃi ʃæl rɪˈpit ɪt. ɪts goʊɪŋ tɪ bi hɪˈlɛriəs.

Sometimes I could kiss your mind, Roy!

ˈsəmˌtaɪmz aɪ kʊd kɪs jʊr maɪnd, rɔɪ!