Теория большого взрыва: Болеет дома

Hello, Sheldon. I think I'm too sick to go to the funeral.

hɛˈloʊ, ˈʃɛldən. aɪ θɪŋk əm tu sɪk tɪ goʊ tɪ ðə fˈjunərəl.

You're sick! You poor kid! Well, see you.

jʊr sɪk! ju pur kɪd! wɛl, si ju.

Sheldon, aren't you going to take care of me?

ˈʃɛldən, ˈɑrənt ju goʊɪŋ tɪ teɪk kɛr əv mi?

Me? No! I'm not that kind of doctor.

mi? noʊ! əm nɑt ðət kaɪnd əv ˈdɔktər.

But our relationship agreement clearly states that when one of us is sick the other must

bət ɑr riˈleɪʃənˌʃɪp əˈgrimənt ˈklɪrli steɪts ðət wɪn wən əv ˈjuˈɛs ɪz sɪk ðə ˈəðər məst

take care of them.

teɪk kɛr əv ðɛm.

Oh! I see the confusion. No, the intent behind that clause was to force you to take care

oʊ! aɪ si ðə kənfˈjuʒən. noʊ, ðə ˌɪnˈtɛnt bɪˈhaɪnd ðət klɔz wɑz tɪ fɔrs ju tɪ teɪk kɛr

of me when I'm ill. When you're feeling better, you'll think that's funny.

əv mi wɪn əm ɪl. wɪn jʊr ˈfilɪŋ ˈbɛtər, jul θɪŋk ðæts ˈfəni.

Never mind. Goodnight, Sheldon.

ˈnɛvər maɪnd. ˈgʊdˌnaɪt, ˈʃɛldən.

Amy, Amy, Amy! I made a commitment in writing to comfort you in times like this. And,

ˈeɪmi, ˈeɪmi, ˈeɪmi! aɪ meɪd ə kəˈmɪtmənt ɪn ˈraɪtɪŋ tɪ ˈkəmfərt ju ɪn taɪmz laɪk ðɪs. ənd,

additionally, you are my girlfriend and I care about your well-being.

əˈdɪʃəˌnəli, ju ər maɪ ˈgərlˌfrɛnd ənd aɪ kɛr əˈbaʊt jʊr ˌwɛlˈbiɪŋ.

Thank you, Sheldon.

θæŋk ju, ˈʃɛldən.

You're welcome. Now, let's get this over with.

jʊr ˈwɛlkəm. naʊ, lɛts gɪt ðɪs ˈoʊvər wɪθ.

One hundred two point two – exactly what it was a half an hour ago. It's like you're not

wən ˈhənərd tu pɔɪnt tu – ɪgˈzæktli wət ɪt wɑz ə hæf ən aʊər əˈgoʊ. ɪts laɪk jʊr nɑt

even trying to get better.

ˈivɪn traɪɪŋ tɪ gɪt ˈbɛtər.

Sheldon, you don't get over the flu in half an hour.

ˈʃɛldən, ju doʊnt gɪt ˈoʊvər ðə flu ɪn hæf ən aʊər.

Well, not with that attitude.

wɛl, nɑt wɪθ ðət ˈætəˌtud.

I have to say, I'm finding your bedside manner a little lacking.

aɪ hæv tɪ seɪ, əm ˈfaɪndɪŋ jʊr ˈbɛdˌsaɪd ˈmænər ə ˈlɪtəl ˈlækɪŋ.

I'm sorry. I just want you to get better as soon as possible.

əm ˈsɑri. aɪ ʤɪst wɔnt ju tɪ gɪt ˈbɛtər ɛz sun ɛz ˈpɑsəbəl.

Why don't you just let me get some rest?

waɪ doʊnt ju ʤɪst lɛt mi gɪt səm rɛst?

How can you sleep? I'm not done making you feel better. I still have to put a cold rag on your

haʊ kən ju slip? əm nɑt dən ˈmeɪkɪŋ ju fil ˈbɛtər. aɪ stɪl hæv tɪ pʊt ə koʊld ræg ɔn jʊr

head, sing to you, and apply VapoRub to your chest.

hɛd, sɪŋ tɪ ju, ənd əˈplaɪ vaporub tɪ jʊr ʧɛst.

You want to rub something on my chest?

ju wɔnt tɪ rəb ˈsəmθɪŋ ɔn maɪ ʧɛst?

Yes! All over it!

jɛs! ɔl ˈoʊvər ɪt!

Maybe we should start with that.

ˈmeɪbi wi ʃʊd stɑrt wɪθ ðət.

Now, you're being a responsible patient. Now, you may notice some tingling.

naʊ, jʊr biɪŋ ə riˈspɑnsəbəl ˈpeɪʃənt. naʊ, ju meɪ ˈnoʊtɪs səm ˈtɪŋgəlɪŋ.

Oh, I am counting on it!

oʊ, aɪ æm ˈkaʊntɪŋ ɔn ɪt!

The control group displayed significantly fewer genetic abnormalities. But, because of flaws in

ðə kənˈtroʊl grup dɪˈspleɪd sɪgˈnɪfɪkəntli fjuər ʤəˈnɛtɪk ˌæbnɔrˈmælətiz. bət, bɪˈkəz əv flɔz ɪn

the experimental design relating to environment and diet, they lived inconclusively-ever-after. The end!

ðə ɪkˌspɛrɪˈmɛntəl dɪˈzaɪn rɪˈleɪtɪŋ tɪ ɪnˈvaɪrənmənt ənd daɪət, ðeɪ lɪvd inconclusively-ever-after. ðə ɛnd!

That was great. Rub my chest again.

ðət wɑz greɪt. rəb maɪ ʧɛst əˈgɛn.

No, I need to get you down for a nap. For some reason that VapoRub gets you all fired up.

noʊ, aɪ nid tɪ gɪt ju daʊn fər ə næp. fər səm ˈrizən ðət vaporub gɪts ju ɔl faɪərd əp.

How's the poor thing?

haʊz ðə pur θɪŋ?

Ah! I'm hanging in there. Thanks for asking.

ɑ! əm ˈhæŋɪŋ ɪn ðɛr. θæŋks fər ˈæskɪŋ.

Hey, Amy, I brought you some drugs we've been working on in the lab. This is proving really good

heɪ, ˈeɪmi, aɪ brɔt ju səm drəgz wiv bɪn ˈwərkɪŋ ɔn ɪn ðə læb. ðɪs ɪz ˈpruvɪŋ ˈrɪli gʊd

for congestion, but there's a slight chance that it could make your tears burn like acid. So, if you take

fər kənˈʤɛsʧən, bət ðɛrz ə slaɪt ʧæns ðət ɪt kʊd meɪk jʊr tɪrz bərn laɪk ˈæsəd. soʊ, ɪf ju teɪk

it, happy thoughts.

ɪt, ˈhæpi θɔts.

Um, I'm going to draw you a soothing bath. Where is your bath thermometer?

əm, əm goʊɪŋ tɪ drɔ ju ə ˈsuðɪŋ bæθ. wɛr ɪz jʊr bæθ θərˈmɑmətər?

I don't have a bath thermometer.

aɪ doʊnt hæv ə bæθ θərˈmɑmətər.

Fine, then I'm going to draw you a nerve-racking bath of indeterminate temperature.

faɪn, ðɛn əm goʊɪŋ tɪ drɔ ju ə ˌnərvˈrækɪŋ bæθ əv ˌɪndɪˈtərmɪnɪt ˈtɛmpərəʧər.

This is a really good expectorant. Although, some test subjects reported lactating uncontrollably

ðɪs ɪz ə ˈrɪli gʊd ɪkˈspɛktərənt. ˌɔlˈðoʊ, səm tɛst ˈsəbʤɪkts ˌriˈpɔrtəd ˈlækteɪtɪŋ ˌənkənˈtroʊləbli

when they heard music.

wɪn ðeɪ hərd mˈjuzɪk.

Okay, Okay! Here's the deal. I don't need your medicine. I'm not sick.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, ˌoʊˈkeɪ! hɪrz ðə dil. aɪ doʊnt nid jʊr ˈmɛdəsən. əm nɑt sɪk.

I don't understand.

aɪ doʊnt ˌəndərˈstænd.

I got better two days ago. It's just been so nice having Sheldon take care of me.

aɪ gɑt ˈbɛtər tu deɪz əˈgoʊ. ɪts ʤɪst bɪn soʊ nis ˈhævɪŋ ˈʃɛldən teɪk kɛr əv mi.

So, you've just been lying to him?

soʊ, juv ʤɪst bɪn laɪɪŋ tɪ ɪm?

See this stuff in my nose? Rubber cement.

si ðɪs stəf ɪn maɪ noʊz? ˈrəbər sɪˈmɛnt.

I don't mean to be judgey, but this is the kind of thing lunatics do.

aɪ doʊnt min tɪ bi judgey, bət ðɪs ɪz ðə kaɪnd əv θɪŋ ˈlunəˌtɪks du.

All right, I'll tell him.

ɔl raɪt, aɪl tɛl ɪm.

Amy, would you be strong enough to bathe yourself, or do you need my help?

ˈeɪmi, wʊd ju bi strɔŋ ɪˈnəf tɪ beɪð ˈjɔrsɛlf, ər du ju nid maɪ hɛlp?

I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.

aɪl tɛl ɪm təˈmɑˌroʊ. ˈmɑmə nidz ə bæθ.