Теория большого взрыва: Леонард встречает Шелдона

So Sheldon's last roommate tried to warn you off?

soʊ sheldon's læst ˈruˌmeɪt traɪd tɪ wɔrn ju ɔf?

For all I knew, he was the crazy one. He had this really deranged look.

fər ɔl aɪ nu, hi wɑz ðə ˈkreɪzi wən. hi hæd ðɪs ˈrɪli dɪˈreɪnʤd lʊk.

Well, yeah. He had been living with Sheldon.

wɛl, jæ. hi hæd bɪn ˈlɪvɪŋ wɪθ ˈʃɛldən.

Sure, it makes sense now. Anyway, I went upstairs and knocked on the door.

ʃʊr, ɪt meɪks sɛns naʊ. ˈɛniˌweɪ, aɪ wɛnt əpˈstɛrz ənd nɑkt ɔn ðə dɔr.

Yes?

jɛs?

Dr. Cooper?

ˈdɑktər. ˈkupər?

No, you want the crazy guy across the hall.

noʊ, ju wɔnt ðə ˈkreɪzi gaɪ əˈkrɔs ðə hɔl.

In retrospect, that was clue number two.

ɪn ˈrɛtrəˌspɛkt, ðət wɑz klu ˈnəmbər tu.

Yes?

jɛs?

I'm Leonard Hofstadter. I called you about the apartment. You said...

əm ˈlɛnərd hofstadter. aɪ kɔld ju əˈbaʊt ðə əˈpɑrtmənt. ju sɛd...

I know what I said. I know what you said. I know what my mother said on March 5, 1992. What is the sixth noble gas?

aɪ noʊ wət aɪ sɛd. aɪ noʊ wət ju sɛd. aɪ noʊ wət maɪ ˈməðər sɛd ɔn mɑrʧ 5 1992 wət ɪz ðə sɪksθ ˈnoʊbəl gæs?

What?

wət?

You said you're a scientist. What is the sixth noble gas?

ju sɛd jʊr ə ˈsaɪəntɪst. wət ɪz ðə sɪksθ ˈnoʊbəl gæs?

Uh, radon?

ə, ˈreɪˌdɑn?

Are you asking me or telling me?

ər ju ˈæskɪŋ mi ər ˈtɛlɪŋ mi?

Telling you? Telling you.

ˈtɛlɪŋ ju? ˈtɛlɪŋ ju.

All right, next question. Kirk or Picard?

ɔl raɪt, nɛkst kˈwɛʃən. kərk ər pɪˈkɑrd?

Oh, uh, well, that's tricky. Um, well, Original Series over Next Generation, but Picard over Kirk.

oʊ, ə, wɛl, ðæts ˈtrɪki. əm, wɛl, ərˈɪʤənəl ˈsɪriz ˈoʊvər nɛkst ˌʤɛnərˈeɪʃən, bət pɪˈkɑrd ˈoʊvər kərk.

Correct. You've passed the first barrier to roommate-hood. You may enter.

kərˈɛkt. juv pæst ðə fərst ˈbɛriər tɪ roommate-hood. ju meɪ ˈɛnər.

Oh, this is pretty nice. The bedrooms are back there?

oʊ, ðɪs ɪz ˈprɪti nis. ðə ˈbɛˌdrumz ər bæk ðɛr?

That depends.

ðət dɪˈpɛndz.

I don't understand. Their existence is conditional?

aɪ doʊnt ˌəndərˈstænd. ðɛr ɪgˈzɪstəns ɪz kənˈdɪʃənəl?

No, but your ability to perceive their existence is conditional on you passing the second and third barriers.

noʊ, bət jʊr əˈbɪləˌti tɪ pərˈsiv ðɛr ɪgˈzɪstəns ɪz kənˈdɪʃənəl ɔn ju ˈpæsɪŋ ðə ˈsɛkənd ənd θərd ˈbɛriərz.

There's three?

ðɛrz θri?

Each more daunting than the last. Have a seat.

iʧ mɔr ˈdɔntɪŋ ðən ðə læst. hæv ə sit.

Okay.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

No! That's where I sit!

noʊ! ðæts wɛr aɪ sɪt!

What's the difference?

wəts ðə ˈdɪfərəns?

This seat is ideally located both in relation to the heat source in the winter and a cross breeze in the summer. It also faces the

ðɪs sit ɪz aɪˈdili ˈloʊˌkeɪtəd boʊθ ɪn riˈleɪʃən tɪ ðə hit sɔrs ɪn ðə ˈwɪntər ənd ə krɔs briz ɪn ðə ˈsəmər. ɪt ˈɔlsoʊ ˈfeɪsɪz ðə

television at a direct angle allowing me to immerse myself in entertainment or game play without being subjected to conversation.

ˈtɛləˌvɪʒən æt ə dɪˈrɛkt ˈæŋgəl əˈlaʊɪŋ mi tɪ ˌɪˈmərs ˌmaɪˈsɛlf ɪn ˌɛnərˈteɪnmənt ər geɪm pleɪ wɪˈθaʊt biɪŋ səˈbʤɛktɪd tɪ ˌkɑnvərˈseɪʃən.

As a result, I've placed it in a state of eternal dibs.

ɛz ə rɪˈzəlt, aɪv pleɪst ɪt ɪn ə steɪt əv ɪˈtərnəl dɪbz.

Can you do that?

kən ju du ðət?

Cathedra mea, regulae meae. That's Latin for my chair, my rules. Now, you said on the phone that your area of study is physics.

cathedra mi, regulae meae. ðæts ˈlætən fər maɪ ʧɛr, maɪ rulz. naʊ, ju sɛd ɔn ðə foʊn ðət jʊr ˈɛriə əv ˈstədi ɪz ˈfɪzɪks.

Uh, yeah, experimental physics.

ə, jæ, ɪkˌspɛrɪˈmɛntəl ˈfɪzɪks.

Hmm.

həm.

What is that?

wət ɪz ðət?

(It) Doesn't concern you. You'll be going to the university every day?

(ɪt) ˈdəzənt kənˈsərn ju. jul bi goʊɪŋ tɪ ðə ˌjunəˈvərsəti ˈɛvəri deɪ?

Yes.

jɛs.

And you have a vehicle?

ənd ju hæv ə ˈviɪkəl?

A car, yeah.

ə kɑr, jæ.

And you'll be willing to drive me?

ənd jul bi ˈwɪlɪŋ tɪ draɪv mi?

Well, can't you drive?

wɛl, kænt ju draɪv?

I can. I choose not to.

aɪ kən. aɪ ʧuz nɑt tɪ.

Okay. I suppose I could drive you. Well, that's a point in my favour, right?

ˌoʊˈkeɪ. aɪ səˈpoʊz aɪ kʊd draɪv ju. wɛl, ðæts ə pɔɪnt ɪn maɪ ˈfeɪvər, raɪt?

Why don't you let me do this?

waɪ doʊnt ju lɛt mi du ðɪs?

Come on. I just asked.

kəm ɔn. aɪ ʤɪst æst.

Last question. In a post-apocalyptic world, which task would you assign the highest priority? Locating a sustainable food source,

læst kˈwɛʃən. ɪn ə post-apocalyptic wərld, wɪʧ tæsk wʊd ju əˈsaɪn ðə haɪəst praɪˈɔrəti? ˈloʊˌkeɪtɪŋ ə səˈsteɪnəbəl fud sɔrs,

re-establishing a functioning government, procreating, or preserving the knowledge of mankind?

re-establishing ə ˈfəŋkʃənɪŋ ˈgəvərnmənt, ˈproʊkriˈeɪtɪŋ, ər prɪˈzərvɪŋ ðə ˈnɑlɪʤ əv ˈmænˈkaɪnd?

Ahhh, I'm going to go with preserving the knowledge.

ahhh, əm goʊɪŋ tɪ goʊ wɪθ prɪˈzərvɪŋ ðə ˈnɑlɪʤ.

That's correct. FYI, I would have accepted any answer other than procreating. Come, I'll show you the rest of the apartment.

ðæts kərˈɛkt. ˌɛfˈwaɪˌaɪ, aɪ wʊd hæv ækˈsɛptɪd ˈɛni ˈænsər ˈəðər ðən ˈproʊkriˈeɪtɪŋ. kəm, aɪl ʃoʊ ju ðə rɛst əv ðə əˈpɑrtmənt.

Oh, good. I passed the barriers.

oʊ, gʊd. aɪ pæst ðə ˈbɛriərz.

The second barrier. Don't get cocky.

ðə ˈsɛkənd ˈbɛriər. doʊnt gɪt ˈkɑki.