Теория большого взрыва: Игровая зависимость - 1

Penny, are you experiencing some sort of difficulty?

ˈpɛni, ər ju ɪkˈspɪriənsɪŋ səm sɔrt əv ˈdɪfɪˌkəlti?

Yes. I can't get my stupid door open.

jɛs. aɪ kænt gɪt maɪ ˈstupɪd dɔr ˈoʊpən.

You appear to have put your car key in the door lock. Are you aware of that?

ju əˈpɪr tɪ hæv pʊt jʊr kɑr ki ɪn ðə dɔr lɑk. ər ju əˈwɛr əv ðət?

Yeah.

jæ.

All right then.

ɔl raɪt ðɛn.

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

dæm ɪt! dæm ɪt! dæm ɪt! dæm ɪt! dæm ɪt!

Would it be possible for you to do this a little more quietly? Point of inquiry: why did you put your car key in the door lock?

wʊd ɪt bi ˈpɑsəbəl fər ju tɪ du ðɪs ə ˈlɪtəl mɔr kˈwaɪətli? pɔɪnt əv ˌɪnkˈwaɪˌri: waɪ dɪd ju pʊt jʊr kɑr ki ɪn ðə dɔr lɑk?

Why? I'll tell you why. Because today I had an audition. It took me two hours to get there. I waited an hour for my turn. And before

waɪ? aɪl tɛl ju waɪ. bɪˈkəz təˈdeɪ aɪ hæd ən ɑˈdɪʃən. ɪt tʊk mi tu aʊərz tɪ gɪt ðɛr. aɪ ˈweɪtɪd ən aʊər fər maɪ tərn. ənd ˌbiˈfɔr

I could even start, they told me I looked too Midwest for the part. Too Midwest! What the hell does that even mean?

aɪ kʊd ˈivɪn stɑrt, ðeɪ toʊld mi aɪ lʊkt tu ˌmɪdˈwɛst fər ðə pɑrt. tu ˌmɪdˈwɛst! wət ðə hɛl dɪz ðət ˈivɪn min?

You know I have been in L.A. for almost two years now, and I haven't gotten a single acting job. I've accomplished nothing. I haven't gotten

ju noʊ aɪ hæv bɪn ɪn l.a. fər ˈɔlˌmoʊst tu jɪrz naʊ, ənd aɪ ˈhævənt ˈgɔtən ə ˈsɪŋgəl ˈæktɪŋ ʤɑb. aɪv əˈkɑmplɪʃt ˈnəθɪŋ. aɪ ˈhævənt ˈgɔtən

a raise at work. I haven't even had sex in six months. And just now, when I was walking up those stairs, a fly flew in my mouth, and I ate it!

ə reɪz æt wərk. aɪ ˈhævənt ˈivɪn hæd sɛks ɪn sɪks mənθs. ənd ʤɪst naʊ, wɪn aɪ wɑz ˈwɔkɪŋ əp ðoʊz stɛrz, ə flaɪ flu ɪn maɪ maʊθ, ənd aɪ eɪt ɪt!

Well, actually, insects are a dietary staple in many cultures. They're almost pure protein.

wɛl, ˈæˌkʧuəli, ˈɪnˌsɛkts ər ə ˈdaɪəˌtɛri ˈsteɪpəl ɪn ˈmɛni ˈkəlʧərz. ðɛr ˈɔlˌmoʊst pjʊr ˈproʊˌtin.

Oh, son of a bitch! I am frustrated because I am a failure at everything, and my breath smells like fly.

oʊ, sən əv ə bɪʧ! aɪ æm ˈfrəˌstreɪtəd bɪˈkəz aɪ æm ə ˈfeɪljər æt ˈɛvriˌθɪŋ, ənd maɪ brɛθ smɛlz laɪk flaɪ.

There, there. Would you prefer to wait in our apartment?

ðɛr, ðɛr. wʊd ju prɪˈfər tɪ weɪt ɪn ɑr əˈpɑrtmənt?

No, Sheldon, I'd rather sit on this freezing cold floor sobbing like a three-year-old.

noʊ, ˈʃɛldən, aɪd ˈrəðər sɪt ɔn ðɪs ˈfrizɪŋ koʊld flɔr ˈsɑbɪŋ laɪk ə three-year-old.

All right, then.

ɔl raɪt, ðɛn.

For heaven's sake.

fər ˈhɛvənz seɪk.

Just when I think I've gotten the hang of sarcasm.

ʤɪst wɪn aɪ θɪŋk aɪv ˈgɔtən ðə hæŋ əv ˈsɑrˌkæzəm.

Make yourself comfortable. Not there.

meɪk ˈjɔrsɛlf ˈkəmfərtəbəl. nɑt ðɛr.

Sheldor is back online.

sheldor ɪz bæk ˈɔnˌlaɪn.

Sheldor?

sheldor?

The Conqueror.

ðə ˈkɑŋkərər.

What are you doing?

wət ər ju duɪŋ?

AFK. I'm playing Age of Conan, an online multiplayer game set in the universe of Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian.

afk. əm pleɪɪŋ eɪʤ əv ˈkoʊnən, ən ˈɔnˌlaɪn ˈməltiˌpleɪər geɪm sɛt ɪn ðə ˈjunəˌvərs əv ˈrɑbərt i. haʊərdz ˈkoʊnən ðə bɑrˈbɛriən.

Sheldor back online.

sheldor bæk ˈɔnˌlaɪn.

What's "AFK"?

wəts "afk"?

AFK. Away from keyboard.

afk. əˈweɪ frəm ˈkiˌbɔrd.

OIC.

oic.

What does that stand for?

wət dɪz ðət stænd fər?

Oh, I see.

oʊ, aɪ si.

Yes, but what does it stand for?

jɛs, bət wət dɪz ɪt stænd fər?

Now, just click on the enchanted boots to put them on.

naʊ, ʤɪst klɪk ɔn ðə ɛnˈʧænɪd buts tɪ pʊt ðɛm ɔn.

I don't know. Can I see them in another color?

aɪ doʊnt noʊ. kən aɪ si ðɛm ɪn əˈnəðər ˈkələr?

Just click on them. Yeah, congratulations. You are now a level-three warrior.

ʤɪst klɪk ɔn ðɛm. jæ, kənˌgræʧəˈleɪʃənz. ju ər naʊ ə level-three ˈwɔrjər.

What's going on?

wəts goʊɪŋ ɔn?

Leonard, guess what? I'm a level-three warrior.

ˈlɛnərd, gɛs wət? əm ə level-three ˈwɔrjər.

Great. Do you know there are groceries outside of your apartment?

greɪt. du ju noʊ ðɛr ər ˈgroʊsəriz ˈaʊtˈsaɪd əv jʊr əˈpɑrtmənt?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shh.

jæ, jæ, jæ. shh.

I only bring it up because your ice cream is melting, and it's starting to attract wildlife.

aɪ ˈoʊnli brɪŋ ɪt əp bɪˈkəz jʊr aɪs krim ɪz ˈmɛltɪŋ, ənd ɪts ˈstɑrtɪŋ tɪ əˈtrækt ˈwaɪlˌdlaɪf.

Uh-huh, yeah. Do I stay in the jungle or go towards the beach?

ˈəˈhə, jæ. du aɪ steɪ ɪn ðə ˈʤəŋgəl ər goʊ təˈwɔrdz ðə biʧ?

It doesn't matter right now; you're looking for treasure.

ɪt ˈdəzənt ˈmætər raɪt naʊ; jʊr ˈlʊkɪŋ fər ˈtrɛʒər.

Wait, wait, where are you going?

weɪt, weɪt, wɛr ər ju goʊɪŋ?

You're okay. If you run into crocodiles, just kick them with your boots.

jʊr ˌoʊˈkeɪ. ɪf ju rən ˈɪntu ˈkrɑkəˌdaɪlz, ʤɪst kɪk ðɛm wɪθ jʊr buts.

You want to catch me up?

ju wɔnt tɪ kæʧ mi əp?

Well, let's see. She attempted to open her apartment with her car key because her face is overly Midwestern, she hasn't had sex in six months, and she ate a fly.

wɛl, lɛts si. ʃi əˈtɛmptəd tɪ ˈoʊpən hər əˈpɑrtmənt wɪθ hər kɑr ki bɪˈkəz hər feɪs ɪz ˈoʊvərli mɪdˈwɛstərn, ʃi ˈhæzənt hæd sɛks ɪn sɪks mənθs, ənd ʃi eɪt ə flaɪ.

Uh-huh. Seriously? six months?

ˈəˈhə. ˈsɪriəsli? sɪks mənθs?

Oh, my god! A treasure chest! I'm rich!

oʊ, maɪ gɑd! ə ˈtrɛʒər ʧɛst! əm rɪʧ!

Level three, and she thinks she's rich. What a newb.

ˈlɛvəl θri, ənd ʃi θɪŋks ʃiz rɪʧ. wət ə newb.