Теория большого взрыва: Новая соседка

Are you still mad about the sperm bank?

ər ju stɪl mæd əˈbaʊt ðə spərm bæŋk?

No.

noʊ.

(Do) You want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?

(du) ju wɔnt tɪ hir ən ˈɪntəˌrɛstɪŋ θɪŋ əˈbaʊt stɛrz?

Not really.

nɑt ˈrɪli.

If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimeters, most people will trip.

ɪf ðə haɪt əv ə ˈsɪŋgəl stɛp ɪz ɔf baɪ ɛz ˈlɪtəl ɛz tu ˈmɪləˌmitərz, moʊst ˈpipəl wɪl trɪp.

I don't care. Two millimeters? That doesn't seem right.

aɪ doʊnt kɛr. tu ˈmɪləˌmitərz? ðət ˈdəzənt sim raɪt.

No, it's true, I did a series of experiments when I was twelve. My father broke his clavicle.

noʊ, ɪts tru, aɪ dɪd ə ˈsɪriz əv ɪkˈspɛrəmənts wɪn aɪ wɑz twɛlv. maɪ ˈfɑðər broʊk hɪz ˈklævɪkəl.

Is that why they sent you to boarding school?

ɪz ðət waɪ ðeɪ sɛnt ju tɪ ˈbɔrdɪŋ skul?

No. That was the result of my work with lasers.

noʊ. ðət wɑz ðə rɪˈzəlt əv maɪ wərk wɪθ ˈleɪzərz.

New neighbor?

nu ˈneɪbər?

Evidently.

ˈɛvədəntli.

Significant improvement over the old neighbor.

sɪgˈnɪfɪkənt ˌɪmˈpruvmənt ˈoʊvər ðə oʊld ˈneɪbər.

Two-hundred-pound transvestite with a skin condition. Yes, she is.

two-hundred-pound trænzˈvɛstaɪt wɪθ ə skɪn kənˈdɪʃən. jɛs, ʃi ɪz.

Oh, hi!

oʊ, haɪ!

Hi.

haɪ.

Hi.

haɪ.

Hi.

haɪ.

Hi.

haɪ.

Hi?

haɪ?

We don't mean to interrupt. We live across the hall.

wi doʊnt min tɪ ˌɪntərˈəpt. wi lɪv əˈkrɔs ðə hɔl.

Oh, that's nice.

oʊ, ðæts nis.

Well, no, we don't live together. I mean, we live together, but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms.

wɛl, noʊ, wi doʊnt lɪv təˈgɛðər. aɪ min, wi lɪv təˈgɛðər, bət ɪn ˈsɛpərˌeɪt, ˌhɛtəroʊˈsɛkˌʃuəl ˈbɛˌdrumz.

Oh, okay, well, guess I'm your new neighbor, Penny.

oʊ, ˌoʊˈkeɪ, wɛl, gɛs əm jʊr nu ˈneɪbər, ˈpɛni.

Leonard, Sheldon.

ˈlɛnərd, ˈʃɛldən.

Hi.

haɪ.

Hi.

haɪ.

Hi.

haɪ.

Hi.

haɪ.

Hi. Well, uh, oh, welcome to the building.

haɪ. wɛl, ə, oʊ, ˈwɛlkəm tɪ ðə ˈbɪldɪŋ.

Oh, thank you. Maybe we can have coffee sometime.

oʊ, θæŋk ju. ˈmeɪbi wi kən hæv ˈkɔfi ˈsəmˌtaɪm.

Oh, great.

oʊ, greɪt.

Great.

greɪt.

Great.

greɪt.

Great. Well, bye.

greɪt. wɛl, baɪ.

Bye.

baɪ.

Bye.

baɪ.

Bye.

baɪ.

Should we have invited her for lunch?

ʃʊd wi hæv ˌɪnˈvaɪtɪd hər fər lənʧ?

No. We're going to start season two of Battlestar Galactica.

noʊ. wɪr goʊɪŋ tɪ stɑrt ˈsizən tu əv battlestar gəˈlækˌtɪkə.

We already watched the season two DVDs.

wi ɔˈrɛdi wɔʧt ðə ˈsizən tu ˌdiˌviˈdiz.

Not with commentary.

nɑt wɪθ ˈkɑmənˌtɛri.

I think we should be good neighbors, invite her over, make her feel welcome.

aɪ θɪŋk wi ʃʊd bi gʊd ˈneɪbərz, ˌɪnˈvaɪt hər ˈoʊvər, meɪk hər fil ˈwɛlkəm.

We never invited Louis / Louise over.

wi ˈnɛvər ˌɪnˈvaɪtɪd luɪs luiz ˈoʊvər.

And that was wrong of us. We need to widen our circle.

ənd ðət wɑz rɔŋ əv ˈjuˈɛs. wi nid tɪ ˈwaɪdən ɑr ˈsərkəl.

I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on Myspace.

aɪ hæv ə ˈvɛri waɪd ˈsərkəl. aɪ hæv 212 frɛndz ɔn ˈmaɪˌspeɪs.

Yes, and you've never met one of them.

jɛs, ənd juv ˈnɛvər mɛt wən əv ðɛm.

That's the beauty of it.

ðæts ðə ˈbjuti əv ɪt.

I'm going to invite her over. We'll have a nice meal and chat.

əm goʊɪŋ tɪ ˌɪnˈvaɪt hər ˈoʊvər. wɪl hæv ə nis mil ənd ʧæt.

Chat? But we don't chat. At least not offline.

ʧæt? bət wi doʊnt ʧæt. æt list nɑt ˈɔˌflaɪn.

It's not difficult. You just listen to what she says, and then you say something appropriate in response.

ɪts nɑt ˈdɪfəkəlt. ju ʤɪst ˈlɪsən tɪ wət ʃi sɪz, ənd ðɛn ju seɪ ˈsəmθɪŋ əˈproʊpriˌeɪt ɪn rɪˈspɑns.

To what end?

tɪ wət ɛnd?

Hi. Again.

haɪ. əˈgɛn.

Hi.

haɪ.

Hi.

haɪ.

Hi.

haɪ.

Hi.

haɪ.

Anyway, um, we brought home Indian food. And, um. I know that moving can be stressful, and I find that when I'm

ˈɛniˌweɪ, əm, wi brɔt hoʊm ˈɪndiən fud. ənd, əm. aɪ noʊ ðət ˈmuvɪŋ kən bi ˈstrɛsfəl, ənd aɪ faɪnd ðət wɪn əm

undergoing stress, that good food and company can have a comforting effect. Also, curry is a natural laxative, and I don't

ˌəndərˈgoʊɪŋ strɛs, ðət gʊd fud ənd ˈkəmpəˌni kən hæv ə ˈkəmfərtɪŋ ˈifɛkt. ˈɔlsoʊ, ˈkəri ɪz ə ˈnæʧərəl ˈlæksətɪv, ənd aɪ doʊnt

have to tell you that a clean colon is just one less thing to worry about.

hæv tɪ tɛl ju ðət ə klin ˈkoʊlən ɪz ʤɪst wən lɛs θɪŋ tɪ ˈwəri əˈbaʊt.

Leonard, I'm no expert here, but I believe in the context of a luncheon invitation, you might want to skip the reference to bowel movements.

ˈlɛnərd, əm noʊ ˈɛkspərt hir, bət aɪ bɪˈliv ɪn ðə ˈkɑntɛkst əv ə ˈlənʧən ˌɪnvɪˈteɪʃən, ju maɪt wɔnt tɪ skɪp ðə ˈrɛfərəns tɪ baʊəl ˈmuvmənts.

Oh, you're inviting me over to eat?

oʊ, jʊr ˌɪnˈvaɪtɪŋ mi ˈoʊvər tɪ it?

Uh, yes.

ə, jɛs.

Oh, that's so nice. I'd love to.

oʊ, ðæts soʊ nis. aɪd ləv tɪ.

Great.

greɪt.

So, what do you guys do for fun around here?

soʊ, wət du ju gaɪz du fər fən əraʊnd hir?

Well, today we tried masturbating for money.

wɛl, təˈdeɪ wi traɪd ˈmæstərˌbeɪtɪŋ fər ˈməni.