Теория большого взрыва: Деньги в отношениях

Listen, I've got some good news. This is for you.

ˈlɪsən, aɪv gɑt səm gʊd nuz. ðɪs ɪz fər ju.

Huh. What is this?

hə. wət ɪz ðɪs?

Well, you know how they gave me the company car? It didn’t make sense to have two, so I sold the other one.

wɛl, ju noʊ haʊ ðeɪ geɪv mi ðə ˈkəmpəˌni kɑr? ɪt didn’t meɪk sɛns tɪ hæv tu, soʊ aɪ soʊld ðə ˈəðər wən.

The one I gave you?

ðə wən aɪ geɪv ju?

Yeah. And there's your money back. Now we're even. How great is that?

jæ. ənd ðɛrz jʊr ˈməni bæk. naʊ wɪr ˈivɪn. haʊ greɪt ɪz ðət?

Uh, yeah.

ə, jæ.

What?

wət?

Nothing.

ˈnəθɪŋ.

Oh, come on, Leonard. I know the car was a thoughtful gesture, and I really appreciate it, but it didn't make sense to have both.

oʊ, kəm ɔn, ˈlɛnərd. aɪ noʊ ðə kɑr wɑz ə ˈθɔtfəl ˈʤɛsʧər, ənd aɪ ˈrɪli əˈpriʃiˌeɪt ɪt, bət ɪt ˈdɪdənt meɪk sɛns tɪ hæv boʊθ.

You know what. You don't have to give me this. You keep it.

ju noʊ wət. ju doʊnt hæv tɪ gɪv mi ðɪs. ju kip ɪt.

Why?

waɪ?

The car was a gift. It was something you needed. I was happy to help you out.

ðə kɑr wɑz ə gɪft. ɪt wɑz ˈsəmθɪŋ ju ˈnidɪd. aɪ wɑz ˈhæpi tɪ hɛlp ju aʊt.

And I really appreciate it, but now I don't need it. So, here you go.

ənd aɪ ˈrɪli əˈpriʃiˌeɪt ɪt, bət naʊ aɪ doʊnt nid ɪt. soʊ, hir ju goʊ.

Well, this is silly. So you don't need the car, but you could use it to buy yourself something else, like a new purse to put all this money in.

wɛl, ðɪs ɪz ˈsɪli. soʊ ju doʊnt nid ðə kɑr, bət ju kʊd juz ɪt tɪ baɪ ˈjɔrsɛlf ˈsəmθɪŋ ɛls, laɪk ə nu pərs tɪ pʊt ɔl ðɪs ˈməni ɪn.

Sweetie, I can buy my own stuff. I have a good job now.

sˈwiti, aɪ kən baɪ maɪ oʊn stəf. aɪ hæv ə gʊd ʤɑb naʊ.

I know, and I'm proud of you, but that doesn't mean I can't do something nice like this.

aɪ noʊ, ənd əm praʊd əv ju, bət ðət ˈdəzənt min aɪ kænt du ˈsəmθɪŋ nis laɪk ðɪs.

Okay, I don't want this to turn into a fight.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, aɪ doʊnt wɔnt ðɪs tɪ tərn ˈɪntu ə faɪt.

I don't, either.

aɪ doʊnt, ˈiðər.

Great. Thank you. Can you pass the salt, please?

greɪt. θæŋk ju. kən ju pæs ðə sɔlt, pliz?

Sure.

ʃʊr.

Thanks again for having us.

θæŋks əˈgɛn fər ˈhævɪŋ ˈjuˈɛs.

Oh, of course. What did you guys want to talk about?

oʊ, əv kɔrs. wət dɪd ju gaɪz wɔnt tɪ tɔk əˈbaʊt?

Well, you know, now that we're engaged, we had some questions about how you handle money as a couple.

wɛl, ju noʊ, naʊ ðət wɪr ɪnˈgeɪʤd, wi hæd səm kˈwɛsʧənz əˈbaʊt haʊ ju ˈhændəl ˈməni ɛz ə ˈkəpəl.

So what did you want to know?

soʊ wət dɪd ju wɔnt tɪ noʊ?

Well, do you guys ever fight over money?

wɛl, du ju gaɪz ˈɛvər faɪt ˈoʊvər ˈməni?

Sure, sometimes. I mean, it can be a little awkward since I make so much more money than Howie.

ʃʊr, ˈsəmˌtaɪmz. aɪ min, ɪt kən bi ə ˈlɪtəl ˈɔkwərd sɪns aɪ meɪk soʊ məʧ mɔr ˈməni ðən haʊi.

You didn't have to say “so much more.”

ju ˈdɪdənt hæv tɪ seɪ ““so məʧ more.”.”

Well, I didn't have to, but for the sake of accuracy, I felt that I should.

wɛl, aɪ ˈdɪdənt hæv tɪ, bət fər ðə seɪk əv ˈækjərəsi, aɪ fɛlt ðət aɪ ʃʊd.

I brought a lot of significant assets into the relationship, too.

aɪ brɔt ə lɔt əv sɪgˈnɪfɪkənt ˈæˌsɛts ˈɪntu ðə riˈleɪʃənˌʃɪp, tu.

Like what? Your incomplete set of Star Trek collector plates?

laɪk wət? jʊr ˌɪnkəmˈplit sɛt əv stɑr trɛk kəˈlɛktər pleɪts?

For your information, I just bought the last one I needed on eBay.

fər jʊr ˌɪnˌfɔrˈmeɪʃən, aɪ ʤɪst bɔt ðə læst wən aɪ ˈnidɪd ɔn ˈiˌbeɪ.

Without asking me?

wɪˈθaʊt ˈæskɪŋ mi?

There were only three minutes left in the auction, and it was a mint condition Scotty from a smoke-free home.

ðɛr wər ˈoʊnli θri ˈmɪnəts lɛft ɪn ðə ˈɔkʃən, ənd ɪt wɑz ə mɪnt kənˈdɪʃən ˈskɑti frəm ə smoke-free hoʊm.

How much, Howie?

haʊ məʧ, haʊi?

Not a lot.

nɑt ə lɔt.

How much?

haʊ məʧ?

Let's not talk about this in front of our friends.

lɛts nɑt tɔk əˈbaʊt ðɪs ɪn frənt əv ɑr frɛndz.

Was it more or less than falconry school?

wɑz ɪt mɔr ər lɛs ðən ˈfælkənri skul?

For the tenth time, that was a Groupon.

fər ðə tɛnθ taɪm, ðət wɑz ə groupon.

Like I would swing with him.

laɪk aɪ wʊd swɪŋ wɪθ ɪm.

Talk about wasted money. What about the late fees on our credit card because somebody didn’t pay the bill on time?

tɔk əˈbaʊt ˈweɪstɪd ˈməni. wət əˈbaʊt ðə leɪt fiz ɔn ɑr ˈkrɛdɪt kɑrd bɪˈkəz ˈsəmˌbɑdi didn’t peɪ ðə bɪl ɔn taɪm?

Well, maybe I would have paid it if I wasn't also doing everything else around here.

wɛl, ˈmeɪbi aɪ wʊd hæv peɪd ɪt ɪf aɪ ˈwəzənt ˈɔlsoʊ duɪŋ ˈɛvriˌθɪŋ ɛls əraʊnd hir.

Oh, you're saying I don't do anything around here. Look at my chore chart.

oʊ, jʊr seɪɪŋ aɪ doʊnt du ˈɛniˌθɪŋ əraʊnd hir. lʊk æt maɪ ʧɔr ʧɑrt.

She made him a chore chart.

ʃi meɪd ɪm ə ʧɔr ʧɑrt.

I see it.

aɪ si ɪt.

“Do the dishes.” There's a star right there.

““do ðə dishes.”.” ðɛrz ə stɑr raɪt ðɛr.

That was a pity star. Putting water in the roasting pan and leaving it in the sink is not doing the dishes.

ðət wɑz ə ˈpɪti stɑr. ˈpʊtɪŋ ˈwɔtər ɪn ðə ˈroʊstɪŋ pæn ənd ˈlivɪŋ ɪt ɪn ðə sɪŋk ɪz nɑt duɪŋ ðə ˈdɪʃɪz.

That pan had to soak and you know it.

ðət pæn hæd tɪ soʊk ənd ju noʊ ɪt.

Well, don't come crying to me when you don't get your allowance.

wɛl, doʊnt kəm kraɪɪŋ tɪ mi wɪn ju doʊnt gɪt jʊr əˈlaʊəns.

It's not an allowance. It's a stipend! And we said we weren't going to call it an allowance in front of my friends.

ɪts nɑt ən əˈlaʊəns. ɪts ə ˈstaɪpənd! ənd wi sɛd wi wərənt goʊɪŋ tɪ kɔl ɪt ən əˈlaʊəns ɪn frənt əv maɪ frɛndz.

Sorry you guys had to see that.

ˈsɑri ju gaɪz hæd tɪ si ðət.

Oh, don't apologize.

oʊ, doʊnt əˈpɑləˌʤaɪz.

Yeah. It just makes it a lot harder to pretend it never happened.

jæ. ɪt ʤɪst meɪks ɪt ə lɔt ˈhɑrdər tɪ priˈtɛnd ɪt ˈnɛvər ˈhæpənd.

Money is a sensitive subject for Howie because of the difference in our income.

ˈməni ɪz ə ˈsɛnsɪtɪv ˈsəbʤɪkt fər haʊi bɪˈkəz əv ðə ˈdɪfərəns ɪn ɑr ˈɪnˌkəm.

It really bothers him?

ɪt ˈrɪli ˈbɑðərz ɪm?

Well, sure. There's still a lot of pressure on guys to be providers. So even though he's happy for me, it's just a little tough on him.

wɛl, ʃʊr. ðɛrz stɪl ə lɔt əv ˈprɛʃər ɔn gaɪz tɪ bi prəˈvaɪdərz. soʊ ˈivɪn ðoʊ hiz ˈhæpi fər mi, ɪts ʤɪst ə ˈlɪtəl təf ɔn ɪm.

Uh-oh.

əoʊ.

What?

wət?

Well, f I do well in sales, I could end up making a lot more money than you.

wɛl, ɛf aɪ du wɛl ɪn seɪlz, aɪ kʊd ɛnd əp ˈmeɪkɪŋ ə lɔt mɔr ˈməni ðən ju.

Not a problem. I grew up with a mother who emasculated my father financially and in every other aspect of his life,

nɑt ə ˈprɑbləm. aɪ gru əp wɪθ ə ˈməðər hu əˈmæskjuˌleɪtɪd maɪ ˈfɑðər ˌfaɪˈnænʃəli ənd ɪn ˈɛvəri ˈəðər ˈæˌspɛkt əv hɪz laɪf,

so, really, it's what I think love looks like.

soʊ, ˈrɪli, ɪts wət aɪ θɪŋk ləv lʊks laɪk.

I'll be right back. I'm going to go check on him.

aɪl bi raɪt bæk. əm goʊɪŋ tɪ goʊ ʧɛk ɔn ɪm.

Maybe it's a good thing we came here. It's like a lesson in what not to do.

ˈmeɪbi ɪts ə gʊd θɪŋ wi keɪm hir. ɪts laɪk ə ˈlɛsən ɪn wət nɑt tɪ du.

Yeah. I don't want something dumb like money to come between us.

jæ. aɪ doʊnt wɔnt ˈsəmθɪŋ dəm laɪk ˈməni tɪ kəm bɪtˈwin ˈjuˈɛs.

It won't. Let's just promise to figure this kind of stuff out before we get married.

ɪt woʊnt. lɛts ʤɪst ˈprɑməs tɪ ˈfɪgjər ðɪs kaɪnd əv stəf aʊt ˌbiˈfɔr wi gɪt ˈmɛrid.

Why are you being so bossy?!

waɪ ər ju biɪŋ soʊ ˈbɔsi?!

Why are you being a baby?

waɪ ər ju biɪŋ ə ˈbeɪbi?

I'm not a baby! I'm a grown man, and I made the bed. Now where's my star?

əm nɑt ə ˈbeɪbi! əm ə groʊn mæn, ənd aɪ meɪd ðə bɛd. naʊ wɛrz maɪ stɑr?

Should we go?

ʃʊd wi goʊ?

Hang on. I want to see if he gets the star.

hæŋ ɔn. aɪ wɔnt tɪ si ɪf hi gɪts ðə stɑr.