Теория большого взрыва: Идеальное место на диване

Okay, well, make yourself at home.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, wɛl, meɪk ˈjɔrsɛlf æt hoʊm.

Okay, thank you.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, θæŋk ju.

You're very welcome.

jʊr ˈvɛri ˈwɛlkəm.

This looks like some serious stuff. Leonard, did you do this?

ðɪs lʊks laɪk səm ˈsɪriəs stəf. ˈlɛnərd, dɪd ju du ðɪs?

Actually, that's my work.

ˈæˌkʧuəli, ðæts maɪ wərk.

Wow.

waʊ.

Yeah, well, it's just some quantum mechanics, with a little string theory doodling around the edges. That part there, that's just a joke.

jæ, wɛl, ɪts ʤɪst səm kˈwɑntəm məˈkænɪks, wɪθ ə ˈlɪtəl strɪŋ ˈθɪri doodling əraʊnd ðə ˈɛʤɪz. ðət pɑrt ðɛr, ðæts ʤɪst ə ʤoʊk.

It's a spoof of the Born-Oppenheimer approximation.

ɪts ə spuf əv ðə born-oppenheimer əˌprɑksəˈmeɪʃən.

So you're like, one of those, beautiful mind genius guys.

soʊ jʊr laɪk, wən əv ðoʊz, ˈbjutəfəl maɪnd ˈʤinjəs gaɪz.

Yeah.

jæ.

This is really impressive.

ðɪs ɪz ˈrɪli ˌɪmˈprɛsɪv.

I have a board. If you like boards, this is my board.

aɪ hæv ə bɔrd. ɪf ju laɪk bɔrdz, ðɪs ɪz maɪ bɔrd.

Holy smokes.

ˈhoʊli smoʊks.

If by "holy smokes" you mean a derivative restatement of the kind of stuff you can find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at MIT, sure.

ɪf baɪ "ˈhoʊli smoʊks" ju min ə dərˈɪvɪtɪv riˈsteɪtmənt əv ðə kaɪnd əv stəf ju kən faɪnd ˈskrɪbəld ɔn ðə wɔl əv ˈɛni mɛnz rum æt ˈɛˈmaɪˈti, ʃʊr.

What?

wət?

Do you guys mind if I start?

du ju gaɪz maɪnd ɪf aɪ stɑrt?

Um, Penny, that's where I sit.

əm, ˈpɛni, ðæts wɛr aɪ sɪt.

So, sit next to me.

soʊ, sɪt nɛkst tɪ mi.

No, I sit there.

noʊ, aɪ sɪt ðɛr.

What's the difference?

wəts ðə ˈdɪfərəns?

What's the difference?

wəts ðə ˈdɪfərəns?

Here we go.

hir wi goʊ.

In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it's directly

ɪn ðə ˈwɪntər, ðət sit ɪz kloʊz ɪˈnəf tɪ ðə ˈreɪdiˌeɪtər tɪ rɪˈmeɪn wɔrm, ənd jɛt nɑt soʊ kloʊz ɛz tɪ kɔz ˌpərspərˈeɪʃən. ɪn ðə ˈsəmər, ɪts dɪˈrɛkli

in the path of a cross breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging

ɪn ðə pæθ əv ə krɔs briz kriˈeɪtɪd baɪ ˈoʊpənɪŋ ˈwɪndoʊz ðɛr ənd ðɛr. ɪt ˈfeɪsɪz ðə ˈtɛləˌvɪʒən æt ən ˈæŋgəl ðət ɪz ˈniðər dɪˈrɛkt, ðəs dɪˈskərɪʤɪŋ

conversation, nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. I could go on, but I think I've made my point.

ˌkɑnvərˈseɪʃən, nɔr soʊ fɑr waɪd ɛz tɪ kriˈeɪt ə ˈpɛrəˌlæks dɪˈstɔrʃən. aɪ kʊd goʊ ɔn, bət aɪ θɪŋk aɪv meɪd maɪ pɔɪnt.

Do you want me to move?

du ju wɔnt mi tɪ muv?

Well.

wɛl.

Just sit somewhere else.

ʤɪst sɪt ˈsəmˌwɛr ɛls.

Fine.

faɪn.

Sheldon, sit!

ˈʃɛldən, sɪt!

Aaah!

aaah!

Well this is nice. We don't have a lot of company over.

wɛl ðɪs ɪz nis. wi doʊnt hæv ə lɔt əv ˈkəmpəˌni ˈoʊvər.

That's not true. Koothrapali and Wolowitz come over all the time.

ðæts nɑt tru. koothrapali ənd wolowitz kəm ˈoʊvər ɔl ðə taɪm.

Yes I now, but...

jɛs aɪ naʊ, bət...

Tuesday night we played Klingon boggle until one in the morning.

ˈtuzˌdeɪ naɪt wi pleɪd ˈklɪŋˌgɔn ˈbɑgəl ənˈtɪl wən ɪn ðə ˈmɔrnɪŋ.

Yes, I remember.

jɛs, aɪ rɪˈmɛmbər.

I resent you saying we don't have company.

aɪ rɪˈzɛnt ju seɪɪŋ wi doʊnt hæv ˈkəmpəˌni.

I'm sorry.

əm ˈsɑri.

That has negative social implications.

ðət həz ˈnɛgətɪv ˈsoʊʃəl ˌɪmpləˈkeɪʃənz.

I said I'm sorry. That's probably enough about us. Tell us about you.

aɪ sɛd əm ˈsɑri. ðæts ˈprɑbəˌbli ɪˈnəf əˈbaʊt ˈjuˈɛs. tɛl ˈjuˈɛs əˈbaʊt ju.

Okay, let's see. What else? Oh, I'm a vegetarian, except for fish, and the occasional steak. I love steak.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, lɛts si. wət ɛls? oʊ, əm ə ˌvɛʤəˈtɛˌriən, ɪkˈsɛpt fər fɪʃ, ənd ðə ɔˈkeɪʒənəl steɪk. aɪ ləv steɪk.

That's interesting. Leonard can't process corn.

ðæts ˈɪntəˌrɛstɪŋ. ˈlɛnərd kænt ˈprɔˌsɛs kɔrn.

Do you have some sort of a job?

du ju hæv səm sɔrt əv ə ʤɑb?

Oh, yeah, I'm a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory.

oʊ, jæ, əm ə ˈweɪtrəs æt ðə ˈʧizˌkeɪk ˈfæktəri.

Oh. I love cheesecake.

oʊ. aɪ ləv ˈʧizˌkeɪk.

You're lactose intolerant.

jʊr ˈlæktoʊs ˌɪnˈtɑlərənt.

I don't eat it, I just think it's a good idea.

aɪ doʊnt it ɪt, aɪ ʤɪst θɪŋk ɪts ə gʊd aɪˈdiə.

Let's see. What else? Um, that's about it. That's the story of Penny.

lɛts si. wət ɛls? əm, ðæts əˈbaʊt ɪt. ðæts ðə ˈstɔri əv ˈpɛni.

Well it sounds wonderful.

wɛl ɪt saʊnz ˈwəndərfəl.

It was until I fell in love with a jerk.

ɪt wɑz ənˈtɪl aɪ fɛl ɪn ləv wɪθ ə ʤərk.

What's happening?

wəts ˈhæpənɪŋ?

I don't know.

aɪ doʊnt noʊ.

Oh God, you know, four years I lived with him, four years. That's like as long as high school.

oʊ gɑd, ju noʊ, fɔr jɪrz aɪ lɪvd wɪθ ɪm, fɔr jɪrz. ðæts laɪk ɛz lɔŋ ɛz haɪ skul.

It took you four years to get through high school?

ɪt tʊk ju fɔr jɪrz tɪ gɪt θru haɪ skul?

Don't.

doʊnt.

I just, I can't believe I trusted him.

aɪ ʤɪst, aɪ kænt bɪˈliv aɪ ˈtrəstɪd ɪm.