Сайнфелд: Сводничество

So what'd you do last night?

soʊ ˈwətɪd ju du læst naɪt?

Went out with George, you?

wɛnt aʊt wɪθ ʤɔrʤ, ju?

Went out with Cynthia.

wɛnt aʊt wɪθ ˈsɪnθiə.

How was it? What'd you talk about?

haʊ wɑz ɪt? ˈwətɪd ju tɔk əˈbaʊt?

Well, you know, the usual; The Federal Reserve, the rainforest. What about you?

wɛl, ju noʊ, ðə ˈjuʒəwəl; ðə ˈfɛdərəl rɪˈzərv, ðə ˈraɪnˌfɔrəst. wət əˈbaʊt ju?

We brushed on that. Actually, George was in rare form. He just can't

wi brəʃt ɔn ðət. ˈæˌkʧuəli, ʤɔrʤ wɑz ɪn rɛr fɔrm. hi ʤɪst kænt

find anybody.

faɪnd ˈɛnibədi.

I know, Cynthia too. She's really given up.

aɪ noʊ, ˈsɪnθiə tu. ʃiz ˈrɪli ˈgɪvɪn əp.

George too.

ʤɔrʤ tu.

Jerry and Elaine (together): Yeah, right.

ˈʤɛri ənd ˌiˈleɪn (təˈgɛðər): jæ, raɪt.

I've never fixed anybody up.

aɪv ˈnɛvər fɪkst ˈɛnibədi əp.

Uh, me neither and I am not about to start with George.

ə, mi ˈniðər ənd aɪ æm nɑt əˈbaʊt tɪ stɑrt wɪθ ʤɔrʤ.

Well why wouldn't you start with George? You think she's too good for

wɛl waɪ ˈwʊdənt ju stɑrt wɪθ ʤɔrʤ? ju θɪŋk ʃiz tu gʊd fər

George?

ʤɔrʤ?

I didn't say 'too good', did I say 'too good'?

aɪ ˈdɪdənt seɪ 'tu gʊd', dɪd aɪ seɪ 'tu gʊd'?

Well you implied it.

wɛl ju ˌɪmˈplaɪd ɪt.

I didn't say it.

aɪ ˈdɪdənt seɪ ɪt.

Because if you think she's too good for George, you are dead wrong.

bɪˈkəz ɪf ju θɪŋk ʃiz tu gʊd fər ʤɔrʤ, ju ər dɛd rɔŋ.

Dead wrong. Who is she?

dɛd rɔŋ. hu ɪz ʃi?

Who is he?

hu ɪz hi?

He's George!

hiz ʤɔrʤ!

She's Cynthia!

ʃiz ˈsɪnθiə!

So what?

soʊ wət?

What, you don't think she's beautiful?

wət, ju doʊnt θɪŋk ʃiz ˈbjutəfəl?

I don't know, what's with the eyebrows?

aɪ doʊnt noʊ, wəts wɪθ ðə ˈaɪˌbraʊz?

You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.

ju noʊ wət jʊr ˈprɑbləm ɪz? jʊr ˈstændərdz ər tu haɪ.

I went out with you.

aɪ wɛnt aʊt wɪθ ju.

That's because my standards are too low. And by the way, you know,

ðæts bɪˈkəz maɪ ˈstændərdz ər tu loʊ. ənd baɪ ðə weɪ, ju noʊ,

women kill for eyebrows like that. Do you know that? I mean women pluck their

ˈwɪmən kɪl fər ˈaɪˌbraʊz laɪk ðət. du ju noʊ ðət? aɪ min ˈwɪmən plək ðɛr

real eyebrows out of their head, one by one, until they're bald, Jerry. Bald

ril ˈaɪˌbraʊz aʊt əv ðɛr hɛd, wən baɪ wən, ənˈtɪl ðɛr bɔld, ˈʤɛri. bɔld

above the eyes! And then they paint in these eyebrows to look like that.

əˈbəv ðə aɪz! ənd ðɛn ðeɪ peɪnt ɪn ðiz ˈaɪˌbraʊz tɪ lʊk laɪk ðət.

Well let me tell you something about George. He is fast. He can run

wɛl lɛt mi tɛl ju ˈsəmθɪŋ əˈbaʊt ʤɔrʤ. hi ɪz fæst. hi kən rən

like the wind. And he's strong. I've seen him lift a hundred pounds over his

laɪk ðə wɪnd. ənd hiz strɔŋ. aɪv sin ɪm lɪft ə ˈhənərd paʊnz ˈoʊvər hɪz

head without even knowing it.

hɛd wɪˈθaʊt ˈivɪn noʊɪŋ ɪt.

He can really do that?

hi kən ˈrɪli du ðət?

Come on, let's do it, I think they'll really get along.

kəm ɔn, lɛts du ɪt, aɪ θɪŋk ðɛl ˈrɪli gɪt əˈlɔŋ.

What, are you into this?

wət, ər ju ˈɪntu ðɪs?

Yeah, come on, it's a good match.

jæ, kəm ɔn, ɪts ə gʊd mæʧ.

No, wait a minute, wait a minute. They're gonna be telling us how

noʊ, weɪt ə ˈmɪnət, weɪt ə ˈmɪnət. ðɛr ˈgɑnə bi ˈtɛlɪŋ ˈjuˈɛs haʊ

their dates went. Are we gonna share that information?

ðɛr deɪts wɛnt. ər wi ˈgɑnə ʃɛr ðət ˌɪnˌfɔrˈmeɪʃən?

Naturally.

ˈnæʧərəli.

Well, wait a minute, we're gonna tell each other everything, I mean

wɛl, weɪt ə ˈmɪnət, wɪr ˈgɑnə tɛl iʧ ˈəðər ˈɛvriˌθɪŋ, aɪ min

every secret?

ˈɛvəri ˈsikrɪt?

Everything.

ˈɛvriˌθɪŋ.

What if it worked out?

wət ɪf ɪt wərkt aʊt?

Yeah right.

jæ raɪt.

Out of the question. Out of the question!

aʊt əv ðə kˈwɛʃən. aʊt əv ðə kˈwɛʃən!

Why?

waɪ?

No! I'm not gonna do that! That's one step away from personal ads!

noʊ! əm nɑt ˈgɑnə du ðət! ðæts wən stɛp əˈweɪ frəm ˈpərsɪnəl ædz!

And prostitutes! No! No, I am not going down that road! What does she look

ənd ˈprɑstəˌtuts! noʊ! noʊ, aɪ æm nɑt goʊɪŋ daʊn ðət roʊd! wət dɪz ʃi lʊk

like?

laɪk?

She's good looking.

ʃiz gʊd ˈlʊkɪŋ.

How good looking?

haʊ gʊd ˈlʊkɪŋ?

Very good looking.

ˈvɛri gʊd ˈlʊkɪŋ.

Really good looking?

ˈrɪli gʊd ˈlʊkɪŋ?

Really very good looking.

ˈrɪli ˈvɛri gʊd ˈlʊkɪŋ.

Would you take her out?

wʊd ju teɪk hər aʊt?

Yes, I would take her out.

jɛs, aɪ wʊd teɪk hər aʊt.

Oh, you hesitated.

oʊ, ju ˈhɛzɪˌteɪtɪd.

What hesitate? I didn't hesitate!

wət ˈhɛzəˌteɪt? aɪ ˈdɪdənt ˈhɛzəˌteɪt!

No, something's off here, you hesitated.

noʊ, ˈsəmθɪŋz ɔf hir, ju ˈhɛzɪˌteɪtɪd.

I'm telling you, she's good looking.

əm ˈtɛlɪŋ ju, ʃiz gʊd ˈlʊkɪŋ.

What about the body, what kind of body?

wət əˈbaʊt ðə ˈbɑdi, wət kaɪnd əv ˈbɑdi?

Good body, nice body.

gʊd ˈbɑdi, nis ˈbɑdi.

How nice?

haʊ nis?

Nice.

nis.

Just nice?

ʤɪst nis?

Pretty nice.

ˈprɪti nis.

Really good?

ˈrɪli gʊd?

Really very nice and good.

ˈrɪli ˈvɛri nis ənd gʊd.

All right, let's see, let's see. What else. What else. Oh yeah, what

ɔl raɪt, lɛts si, lɛts si. wət ɛls. wət ɛls. oʊ jæ, wət

does she do?

dɪz ʃi du?

First of all, what does he do?

fərst əv ɔl, wət dɪz hi du?

He was in real estate, um, now, he's not working right now-

hi wɑz ɪn ril ɛˈsteɪt, əm, naʊ, hiz nɑt ˈwərkɪŋ raɪt naʊ-

He's not working?! How come he's not working?

hiz nɑt ˈwərkɪŋ?! haʊ kəm hiz nɑt ˈwərkɪŋ?

Well, um, he, he got fired.

wɛl, əm, hi, hi gɑt faɪərd.

Why did he get fired?

waɪ dɪd hi gɪt faɪərd?

Uh. Why? Oh, right. Um, well, he tried to poison his boss.

ə. waɪ? oʊ, raɪt. əm, wɛl, hi traɪd tɪ ˈpɔɪzən hɪz bɔs.

Excuse me?

ɪkˈskjuz mi?

Such a long story, Cynthia, seriously, I mean he just had some problems

səʧ ə lɔŋ ˈstɔri, ˈsɪnθiə, ˈsɪriəsli, aɪ min hi ʤɪst hæd səm ˈprɑbləmz

at work.

æt wərk.

Is he nuts?

ɪz hi nəts?

No, no, no, he's a really really funny guy.

noʊ, noʊ, noʊ, hiz ə ˈrɪli ˈrɪli ˈfəni gaɪ.

What does he look like?

wət dɪz hi lʊk laɪk?

Pardon?

ˈpɑrdən?

What does he look like?

wət dɪz hi lʊk laɪk?

Um, well, he's got a lot of character in his face. Um, he's short.

əm, wɛl, hiz gɑt ə lɔt əv ˈkɛrɪktər ɪn hɪz feɪs. əm, hiz ʃɔrt.

Um, he's stocky.

əm, hiz ˈstɑki.

Fat. Is that what you're saying, that he's fat?

fæt. ɪz ðət wət jʊr seɪɪŋ, ðət hiz fæt?

Powerful. He is so powerful, he can lift a hundred pounds right up

ˈpaʊərfəl. hi ɪz soʊ ˈpaʊərfəl, hi kən lɪft ə ˈhənərd paʊnz raɪt əp

over his head. And um, what else. What else. Oh, right. Um, well, he's kind

ˈoʊvər hɪz hɛd. ənd əm, wət ɛls. wət ɛls. oʊ, raɪt. əm, wɛl, hiz kaɪnd

of, just kind of losing his hair.

əv, ʤɪst kaɪnd əv ˈluzɪŋ hɪz hɛr.

He's bald?

hiz bɔld?

No! No, no, no, he's not bald. He's balding.

noʊ! noʊ, noʊ, noʊ, hiz nɑt bɔld. hiz ˈbɔldɪŋ.

So he will be bald.

soʊ hi wɪl bi bɔld.

Yup.

jəp.

What kind of hair?

wət kaɪnd əv hɛr?

You know, long dark hair.

ju noʊ, lɔŋ dɑrk hɛr.

Flowing?

floʊɪŋ?

Flowing?

floʊɪŋ?

Is it flowing? I like flowing, cascading hair. Thick lustrous hair is

ɪz ɪt floʊɪŋ? aɪ laɪk floʊɪŋ, kæˈskeɪdɪŋ hɛr. θɪk ˈləstrəs hɛr ɪz

very important to me.

ˈvɛri ˌɪmˈpɔrtənt tɪ mi.

'Thick lustrous hair is very important to me,' is that what you said?

'θɪk ˈləstrəs hɛr ɪz ˈvɛri ˌɪmˈpɔrtənt tɪ mi,' ɪz ðət wət ju sɛd?

Yeah, that's right.

jæ, ðæts raɪt.

Just clarifying.

ʤɪst ˈklɛrəˌfaɪɪŋ.

Has he ever been married?

həz hi ˈɛvər bɪn ˈmɛrid?

No.

noʊ.

Has he been close?

həz hi bɪn kloʊz?

He once spent a weekend with a woman.

hi wəns spɛnt ə ˈwiˌkɪnd wɪθ ə ˈwʊmən.

He didn't really try to poison his boss?

hi ˈdɪdənt ˈrɪli traɪ tɪ ˈpɔɪzən hɪz bɔs?

Yeah, he did.

jæ, hi dɪd.