Стажёр: Бен регистрируется в Facebook

I hate eating alone.

aɪ heɪt ˈitɪŋ əˈloʊn.

So do I.

soʊ du aɪ.

You know, you don't actually have to keep doing that.

ju noʊ, ju doʊnt ˈæˌkʧuəli hæv tɪ kip duɪŋ ðət.

Oh, force of habit.

oʊ, fɔrs əv ˈhæbət.

Here you go. I swiped these from the tech fridge.

hir ju goʊ. aɪ swaɪpt ðiz frəm ðə tɛk frɪʤ.

Oh, nice going.

oʊ, nis goʊɪŋ.

You want a slice?

ju wɔnt ə slaɪs?

Sure, thanks. Cheers.

ʃʊr, θæŋks. ʧɪrz.

Cheers.

ʧɪrz.

I noticed a couple hours ago, you had a meeting with another possible CEO. I saw him arrive. How'd that go?

aɪ ˈnoʊtɪst ə ˈkəpəl aʊərz əˈgoʊ, ju hæd ə ˈmitɪŋ wɪθ əˈnəðər ˈpɑsəbəl ˈsiˌiˈoʊ. aɪ sɔ ɪm əraɪv. haʊd ðət goʊ?

It was going well until he called us, I believe the term he used was, “a chick site.” And I didn't hear anything he said after that. Apparently, selling clothes makes us a chick site. I mean, really? How is this not legit?

ɪt wɑz goʊɪŋ wɛl ənˈtɪl hi kɔld ˈjuˈɛs, aɪ bɪˈliv ðə tərm hi juzd wɑz, ““a ʧɪk site.”.” ənd aɪ ˈdɪdənt hir ˈɛniˌθɪŋ hi sɛd ˈæftər ðət. əˈpɛrəntli, ˈsɛlɪŋ kloʊðz meɪks ˈjuˈɛs ə ʧɪk saɪt. aɪ min, ˈrɪli? haʊ ɪz ðɪs nɑt ˈlɛʤɪt?

I couldn't agree more. I find that surprising.

aɪ ˈkʊdənt əˈgri mɔr. aɪ faɪnd ðət səˈpraɪzɪŋ.

Really? Sexism in business? So, what did you do for work, Ben, before you retired?

ˈrɪli? ˈsɛksɪzəm ɪn ˈbɪznɪs? soʊ, wət dɪd ju du fər wərk, bɛn, ˌbiˈfɔr ju rɪˈtaɪrd?

I was a V.P. for Dex One.

aɪ wɑz ə v.p. fər dɛks wən.

Phonebooks?

phonebooks?

Yeah. I was in charge of printing, and before that I ran sales and advertising.

jæ. aɪ wɑz ɪn ʧɑrʤ əv ˈprɪnɪŋ, ənd ˌbiˈfɔr ðət aɪ ræn seɪlz ənd ˈædvərˌtaɪzɪŋ.

Big jobs. Wasn't this a factory that used to make phonebooks? No. What? This is where you worked?

bɪg ʤɑbz. ˈwəzənt ðɪs ə ˈfæktəri ðət juzd tɪ meɪk phonebooks? noʊ. wət? ðɪs ɪz wɛr ju wərkt?

For almost 40 years. Yeah. For twenty-seven years I sat right by that window. That was my office. It was a few steps up back then. We'd look out over the whole factory.

fər ˈɔlˌmoʊst 40 jɪrz. jæ. fər twenty-seven jɪrz aɪ sæt raɪt baɪ ðət ˈwɪndoʊ. ðət wɑz maɪ ˈɔfəs. ɪt wɑz ə fju stɛps əp bæk ðɛn. wid lʊk aʊt ˈoʊvər ðə hoʊl ˈfæktəri.

Is it totally weird being back here?

ɪz ɪt ˈtoʊtəli wɪrd biɪŋ bæk hir?

Well, it feels like home. It's remodeled, but home.

wɛl, ɪt filz laɪk hoʊm. ɪts riˈmɑdəld, bət hoʊm.

So you're on Facebook, huh?

soʊ jʊr ɔn ˈfeɪsˌbʊk, hə?

Well, I've been trying to figure it out. I joined about 10 minutes ago.

wɛl, aɪv bɪn traɪɪŋ tɪ ˈfɪgjər ɪt aʊt. aɪ ʤɔɪnd əˈbaʊt 10 ˈmɪnəts əˈgoʊ.

Well, better late than never. You want some help?

wɛl, ˈbɛtər leɪt ðən ˈnɛvər. ju wɔnt səm hɛlp?

I'd love some, but, really, you've got better things to do.

aɪd ləv səm, bət, ˈrɪli, juv gɑt ˈbɛtər θɪŋz tɪ du.

No, I need a diversion. Um, okay, what's your relationship status? Are you married? Single?

noʊ, aɪ nid ə dɪˈvərʒən. əm, ˌoʊˈkeɪ, wəts jʊr riˈleɪʃənˌʃɪp ˈstætəs? ər ju ˈmɛrid? ˈsɪŋgəl?

Widower.

ˈwɪdoʊər.

I'm sorry. I think we should just say single, then?

əm ˈsɑri. aɪ θɪŋk wi ʃʊd ʤɪst seɪ ˈsɪŋgəl, ðɛn?

Yeah.

jæ.

Okay, do you know what you need now? You need someone to friend.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, du ju noʊ wət ju nid naʊ? ju nid ˈsəmˌwən tɪ frɛnd.

I'll be friends with the other interns. They'll show me how to do it in the morning.

aɪl bi frɛndz wɪθ ðə ˈəðər ˈɪntərnz. ðɛl ʃoʊ mi haʊ tɪ du ɪt ɪn ðə ˈmɔrnɪŋ.

Well, you, you can friend me.

wɛl, ju, ju kən frɛnd mi.

Okay, thank you.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, θæŋk ju.

Okay. Congratulations. You are now officially part of the Facebook generation.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ. kənˌgræʧəˈleɪʃənz. ju ər naʊ əˈfɪʃəli pɑrt əv ðə ˈfeɪsˌbʊk ˌʤɛnərˈeɪʃən.

Good deal.

gʊd dil.

You done?

ju dən?

Yes. Thank you.

jɛs. θæŋk ju.

Well, I have about another hour of work. Are you okay with that?

wɛl, aɪ hæv əˈbaʊt əˈnəðər aʊər əv wərk. ər ju ˌoʊˈkeɪ wɪθ ðət?

Of course. This was great, Jules.

əv kɔrs. ðɪs wɑz greɪt, ʤulz.

Yeah. It was nice to have an adult conversation with an adult man. You know what I mean? Like, not about work. Not about...

jæ. ɪt wɑz nis tɪ hæv ən ˈædəlt ˌkɑnvərˈseɪʃən wɪθ ən ˈædəlt mæn. ju noʊ wət aɪ min? laɪk, nɑt əˈbaʊt wərk. nɑt əˈbaʊt...

I know what you mean.

aɪ noʊ wət ju min.