Тед Лассо: Рой-лидер

Hey, Trent. You know who you remind me of right now?

heɪ, trɛnt. ju noʊ hu ju riˈmaɪnd mi əv raɪt naʊ?

No. Who?

noʊ. hu?

One of them robot vacuums. Just kind of wandering around looking for dirt.

wən əv ðɛm ˈroʊˌbət ˈvækjumz. ʤɪst kaɪnd əv ˈwɑndərɪŋ əraʊnd ˈlʊkɪŋ fər dərt.

Roomba.

roomba.

That's the one.

ðæts ðə wən.

Actually, I have a question. After your resounding loss to Crystal Palace, one of your players said there was a party in the locker room. Do you feel it sends the right message having a party after a loss?

ˈæˌkʧuəli, aɪ hæv ə kˈwɛʃən. ˈæftər jʊr riˈsaʊndɪŋ lɔs tɪ ˈkrɪstəl ˈpæləs, wən əv jʊr pleɪərz sɛd ðɛr wɑz ə ˈpɑrti ɪn ðə ˈlɑkər rum. du ju fil ɪt sɛndz ðə raɪt ˈmɛsɪʤ ˈhævɪŋ ə ˈpɑrti ˈæftər ə lɔs?

Well, Trent, I've never really concerned myself too much with wins and losses.

wɛl, trɛnt, aɪv ˈnɛvər ˈrɪli kənˈsərnd ˌmaɪˈsɛlf tu məʧ wɪθ wɪnz ənd ˈlɔsɪz.

Now that's a quote I'll probably use.

naʊ ðæts ə kwoʊt aɪl ˈprɑbəˌbli juz.

You should get going.

ju ʃʊd gɪt goʊɪŋ.

Hey, will you let Roy know we're heading out soon?

heɪ, wɪl ju lɛt rɔɪ noʊ wɪr ˈhɛdɪŋ aʊt sun?

Copy.

ˈkɑpi.

Thanks, Coach.

θæŋks, koʊʧ.

You want to tag along? We're going to go speak to some schoolkids.

ju wɔnt tɪ tæg əˈlɔŋ? wɪr goʊɪŋ tɪ goʊ spik tɪ səm schoolkids.

Oh, what a coincidence. The day of our interview you just happen to be visiting a local school.

oʊ, wət ə koʊˈɪnsɪdəns. ðə deɪ əv ɑr ˈɪntərvˌju ju ʤɪst ˈhæpən tɪ bi ˈvɪzɪtɪŋ ə ˈloʊkəl skul.

Well, that's the funny thing about coincidences, ain't it? Sometimes they just happen. Come on now.

wɛl, ðæts ðə ˈfəni θɪŋ əˈbaʊt koʊˈɪnsədənsɪz, eɪnt ɪt? ˈsəmˌtaɪmz ðeɪ ʤɪst ˈhæpən. kəm ɔn naʊ.

When I first saw our school football squad, I didn't think that Richmond Primary would win a single game, much less the league championship. To celebrate, please welcome the new manager of AFC Richmond, Ed Lasso.

wɪn aɪ fərst sɔ ɑr skul ˈfʊtˌbɔl skwɑd, aɪ ˈdɪdənt θɪŋk ðət ˈrɪʧmənd ˈpraɪˌmɛri wʊd wɪn ə ˈsɪŋgəl geɪm, məʧ lɛs ðə lig ˈʧæmpiənˌʃɪp. tɪ ˈsɛləˌbreɪt, pliz ˈwɛlkəm ðə nu ˈmænɪʤər əv afc ˈrɪʧmənd, ɛd ˈlæsoʊ.

Thank you. I appreciate you. All right. Hey, gang. How y'all doing?

θæŋk ju. aɪ əˈpriʃiˌeɪt ju. ɔl raɪt. heɪ, gæŋ. haʊ jɔl duɪŋ?

Wanker.

wanker.

Jacob.

ˈʤeɪkəb.

It's all right. Look, I just wanted to come down and congratulate y'all on a heck of a season. But hey, I know someone else who's really excited to meet all of ya. So if you please help me welcome

ɪts ɔl raɪt. lʊk, aɪ ʤɪst ˈwɔntɪd tɪ kəm daʊn ənd kənˈgræʧəˌleɪt jɔl ɔn ə hɛk əv ə ˈsizən. bət heɪ, aɪ noʊ ˈsəmˌwən ɛls huz ˈrɪli ɪkˈsaɪtɪd tɪ mit ɔl əv jɑ. soʊ ɪf ju pliz hɛlp mi ˈwɛlkəm

the captain of your AFC Richmond squad, Roy Kent.

ðə ˈkæptən əv jʊr afc ˈrɪʧmənd skwɑd, rɔɪ kɛnt.

Roy! Roy! Roy! Roy!

rɔɪ! rɔɪ! rɔɪ! rɔɪ!

Right. I've never been much for public speaking or school, really. Always seemed like a waste of time to me. Why don't we get out of this stuffy auditorium, go out on the pitch and have a proper fuck-about?

raɪt. aɪv ˈnɛvər bɪn məʧ fər ˈpəblɪk ˈspikɪŋ ər skul, ˈrɪli. ˈɔlˌweɪz simd laɪk ə weɪst əv taɪm tɪ mi. waɪ doʊnt wi gɪt aʊt əv ðɪs ˈstəfi ˌɔdəˈtɔriəm, goʊ aʊt ɔn ðə pɪʧ ənd hæv ə ˈprɑpər fuck-about?

I think it's really cool you do this.

aɪ θɪŋk ɪts ˈrɪli kul ju du ðɪs.

Only doing it because my fucking niece goes here.

ˈoʊnli duɪŋ ɪt bɪˈkəz maɪ ˈfəkɪŋ nis goʊz hir.

Oh, yeah? Which one is she?

oʊ, jæ? wɪʧ wən ɪz ʃi?

That idiot.

ðət ˈɪˌdiət.

Oh boy, here she comes.

oʊ bɔɪ, hir ʃi kəmz.

Can we do headers, Uncle Roy?

kən wi du ˈhɛdərz, ˈəŋkəl rɔɪ?

Yeah, all right. Come on then. All right. Come on, you lot. Line up.

jæ, ɔl raɪt. kəm ɔn ðɛn. ɔl raɪt. kəm ɔn, ju lɔt. laɪn əp.

Heads. Lovely. Next. Go. Perfect. Next. Heads. Next. Well done. Next. Good.

hɛdz. ˈləvli. nɛkst. goʊ. ˈpərˌfɪkt. nɛkst. hɛdz. nɛkst. wɛl dən. nɛkst. gʊd.

Roy, come on. You hop in there, show them how it's done. I'll do a couple. How you doing? Ready? Come on. That's the spot. Come on. Here we go, Phoebe. Let's see what you got. Hey, nice catch. We might have ourselves a goalie.

rɔɪ, kəm ɔn. ju hɑp ɪn ðɛr, ʃoʊ ðɛm haʊ ɪts dən. aɪl du ə ˈkəpəl. haʊ ju duɪŋ? ˈrɛdi? kəm ɔn. ðæts ðə spɑt. kəm ɔn. hir wi goʊ, ˈfibi. lɛts si wət ju gɑt. heɪ, nis kæʧ. wi maɪt hæv ɑrˈsɛlvz ə ˈgoʊli.

Boy, oh boy. That was right in the button.

bɔɪ, oʊ bɔɪ. ðət wɑz raɪt ɪn ðə ˈbətən.

Good job, Phoebe.

gʊd ʤɑb, ˈfibi.

Oh boy. Sorry about the blood there. There you go. Don't use it to clone me. Nice meeting you. Take care now.

oʊ bɔɪ. ˈsɑri əˈbaʊt ðə bləd ðɛr. ðɛr ju goʊ. doʊnt juz ɪt tɪ kloʊn mi. nis ˈmitɪŋ ju. teɪk kɛr naʊ.

That's the longest anyone's ever stayed for something like this.

ðæts ðə ˈlɔŋgɪst ˈɛniˌwənz ˈɛvər steɪd fər ˈsəmθɪŋ laɪk ðɪs.

Hey, thanks for having us.

heɪ, θæŋks fər ˈhævɪŋ ˈjuˈɛs.

Cheers.

ʧɪrz.

Thanks again.

θæŋks əˈgɛn.

Roy, that was a blast. And I tell you what, that niece of yours is a real cutie patootie.

rɔɪ, ðət wɑz ə blæst. ənd aɪ tɛl ju wət, ðət nis əv jʊrz ɪz ə ril cutie patootie.

Enough. I've had it with your mind games and your stupid gifts. I mean, what even is A Wrinkle in Time?

ɪˈnəf. aɪv hæd ɪt wɪθ jʊr maɪnd geɪmz ənd jʊr ˈstupɪd gɪfts. aɪ min, wət ˈivɪn ɪz ə ˈrɪŋkəl ɪn taɪm?

It's a lovely novel. It's the story of a young girl's struggle with the burden of leadership as she journeys through space.

ɪts ə ˈləvli ˈnɑvəl. ɪts ðə ˈstɔri əv ə jəŋ gərlz ˈstrəgəl wɪθ ðə ˈbərdən əv ˈlidərˌʃɪp ɛz ʃi ˈʤərniz θru speɪs.

Yeah. That's it.

jæ. ðæts ɪt.

Am I supposed to be the little girl?

æm aɪ səˈpoʊzd tɪ bi ðə ˈlɪtəl gərl?

I'd like you to be.

aɪd laɪk ju tɪ bi.

Right. None of this matters. Because I'm just doing what everyone in this town is doing, and I'm counting down the days until you're gone. Trent, you're a colossal prick. You always have been.

raɪt. nən əv ðɪs ˈmætərz. bɪˈkəz əm ʤɪst duɪŋ wət ˈɛvriˌwən ɪn ðɪs taʊn ɪz duɪŋ, ənd əm ˈkaʊntɪŋ daʊn ðə deɪz ənˈtɪl jʊr gɔn. trɛnt, jʊr ə kəˈlɑsəl prɪk. ju ˈɔlˌweɪz hæv bɪn.