Тед Лассо: Первый матч

We are moments away from Crystal Palace facing AFC Richmond and their new manager, Ted Lasso. While on the

wi ər ˈmoʊmənts əˈweɪ frəm ˈkrɪstəl ˈpæləs ˈfeɪsɪŋ afc ˈrɪʧmənd ənd ðɛr nu ˈmænɪʤər, tɛd ˈlæsoʊ. waɪl ɔn ðə

pitch, all eyes will surely be on young phenom, Jamie Tartt.

pɪʧ, ɔl aɪz wɪl ˈʃʊrli bi ɔn jəŋ ˈfɛnəm, ˈʤeɪmi tɑrt.

All right, fellas, here we go. Here we go. Coach, you got any last words?

ɔl raɪt, ˈfɛləs, hir wi goʊ. hir wi goʊ. koʊʧ, ju gɑt ˈɛni læst wərdz?

Speed on the outside.

spid ɔn ðə ˈaʊtˈsaɪd.

Speed on the outside. You heard the man. That's all we got for you, except for one thing. And that's Happy Birthday, Sam!

spid ɔn ðə ˈaʊtˈsaɪd. ju hərd ðə mæn. ðæts ɔl wi gɑt fər ju, ɪkˈsɛpt fər wən θɪŋ. ənd ðæts ˈhæpi ˈbərθˌdeɪ, sæm!

Hey, man, you guys got me Chin Chin. Wow, this is all I used to eat growing up.

heɪ, mæn, ju gaɪz gɑt mi ʧɪn ʧɪn. waʊ, ðɪs ɪz ɔl aɪ juzd tɪ it groʊɪŋ əp.

We know you haven't been home in a while, so we thought we'd bring some home to you.

wi noʊ ju ˈhævənt bɪn hoʊm ɪn ə waɪl, soʊ wi θɔt wid brɪŋ səm hoʊm tɪ ju.

You guys, man.

ju gaɪz, mæn.

Hey. Happy Birthday, Sam.

heɪ. ˈhæpi ˈbərθˌdeɪ, sæm.

Thank you, Coach.

θæŋk ju, koʊʧ.

We got a few things in there for you.

wi gɑt ə fju θɪŋz ɪn ðɛr fər ju.

Coach, what's this?

koʊʧ, wəts ðɪs?

Well, my little boy gave me a whole bunch of these. You know, help keep me safe while I'm away. I miss him, you know.

wɛl, maɪ ˈlɪtəl bɔɪ geɪv mi ə hoʊl bənʧ əv ðiz. ju noʊ, hɛlp kip mi seɪf waɪl əm əˈweɪ. aɪ mɪs ɪm, ju noʊ.

My dad used to, always used to pinch my earlobes for good luck.

maɪ dæd juzd tɪ, ˈɔlˌweɪz juzd tɪ pɪnʧ maɪ earlobes fər gʊd lək.

Give me a fucking break. Sorry, Coach.

gɪv mi ə ˈfəkɪŋ breɪk. ˈsɑri, koʊʧ.

Coach, is it okay if I don't keep this? I don't really have the same fondness for the American military that you do.

koʊʧ, ɪz ɪt ˌoʊˈkeɪ ɪf aɪ doʊnt kip ðɪs? aɪ doʊnt ˈrɪli hæv ðə seɪm ˈfɑndnəs fər ðə əˈmɛrɪkən ˈmɪlɪˌtɛri ðət ju du.

Oh. Sure. Right. Imperialism. Right. Yeah.

oʊ. ʃʊr. raɪt. ˌɪmˈpɪriəˌlɪzəm. raɪt. jæ.

Imperialism. Thank you, Coach. Thank you.

ˌɪmˈpɪriəˌlɪzəm. θæŋk ju, koʊʧ. θæŋk ju.

All right, fellas. Let's get out there and show Crystal Palace whose house this is, right?

ɔl raɪt, ˈfɛləs. lɛts gɪt aʊt ðɛr ənd ʃoʊ ˈkrɪstəl ˈpæləs huz haʊs ðɪs ɪz, raɪt?

Wanker! Wanker! Wanker!

wanker! wanker! wanker!

For the people at home, we do apologise for the fruity language.

fər ðə ˈpipəl æt hoʊm, wi du əˈpɑləˌʤaɪz fər ðə ˈfruti ˈlæŋgwɪʤ.

We got 90 minutes to prove them wrong, yeah?

wi gɑt 90 ˈmɪnəts tɪ pruv ðɛm rɔŋ, jæ?

Let's give it a shot.

lɛts gɪv ɪt ə ʃɑt.

Here we go.

hir wi goʊ.

And there you go. It's an inauspicious start to the Ted Lasso era. Richmond looked disjointed, uninspired, and,

ənd ðɛr ju goʊ. ɪts ən ˌɪˌnaʊˈspɪʃɪs stɑrt tɪ ðə tɛd ˈlæsoʊ ˈɪrə. ˈrɪʧmənd lʊkt dɪsˈʤɔɪntɪd, ˌənɪnˈspaɪərd, ənd,

you have to say, joyless. Palace win and Richmond lose 4-1. The only bright spot being the defensive play of Sam Obisanya.

ju hæv tɪ seɪ, joyless. ˈpæləs wɪn ənd ˈrɪʧmənd luz 4-1 ðə ˈoʊnli braɪt spɑt biɪŋ ðə dɪˈfɛnsɪv pleɪ əv sæm obisanya.

Only bright spot? Without me, it would've been 4-0, you miserable old pricks.

ˈoʊnli braɪt spɑt? wɪˈθaʊt mi, ɪt ˈwʊdəv bɪn 4-0 ju ˈmɪzərəbəl oʊld prɪks.

And a meaningless consolation goal for Jamie Tartt in injury time.

ənd ə ˈminɪŋləs ˌkɑnsəˈleɪʃən goʊl fər ˈʤeɪmi tɑrt ɪn ˈɪnʤəri taɪm.

Thank you!

θæŋk ju!

Jamie. Real quick.

ˈʤeɪmi. ril kwɪk.

Regarding Jamie Tartt, it was an insignificant goal by the Manchester City loanee, but he celebrated like

rɪˈgɑrdɪŋ ˈʤeɪmi tɑrt, ɪt wɑz ən ˌɪnsɪgnˈjɪfɪkənt goʊl baɪ ðə ˈmænˌʧɛstər ˈsɪti loanee, bət hi ˈsɛləˌbreɪtɪd laɪk

he'd just won the World Cup.

hid ʤɪst wən ðə wərld kəp.

I haven't known you that long, but I can honestly say you are the best athlete I have ever coached.

aɪ ˈhævənt noʊn ju ðət lɔŋ, bət aɪ kən ˈɑnəstli seɪ ju ər ðə bɛst ˈæθˌlit aɪ hæv ˈɛvər koʊʧt.

Wow. Yeah. I mean, I work hard, yeah.

waʊ. jæ. aɪ min, aɪ wərk hɑrd, jæ.

I see it. You are truly great at everything you do out there. Except for one thing.

aɪ si ɪt. ju ər ˈtruli greɪt æt ˈɛvriˌθɪŋ ju du aʊt ðɛr. ɪkˈsɛpt fər wən θɪŋ.

My left foot cross?

maɪ lɛft fʊt krɔs?

No. Jamie, I think that you might be so sure that you're one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out there,

noʊ. ˈʤeɪmi, aɪ θɪŋk ðət ju maɪt bi soʊ ʃʊr ðət jʊr wən ɪn ə ˈmɪljən, ðət ˈsəmˌtaɪmz ju fərˈgɛt ðət aʊt ðɛr,

you're just one of eleven. And if you just figure out some way to turn that "me" into "us", the sky's the limit for you.

jʊr ʤɪst wən əv ˈilɛvən. ənd ɪf ju ʤɪst ˈfɪgjər aʊt səm weɪ tɪ tərn ðət "mi" ˈɪntu "ˈjuˈɛs", ðə skaɪz ðə ˈlɪmət fər ju.

That was a heck of a goal out there, by the way.

ðət wɑz ə hɛk əv ə goʊl aʊt ðɛr, baɪ ðə weɪ.

Thanks.

θæŋks.

Richmond falls to 13th place.

ˈrɪʧmənd fɔlz tɪ 13th pleɪs.

That was fucking embarrassing!

ðət wɑz ˈfəkɪŋ ɪmˈbɛrəsɪŋ!

I am equally livid. Oh, my God.

aɪ æm ˈikwəli ˈlɪvɪd. oʊ, maɪ gɑd.

Didn't know he had it in him.

ˈdɪdənt noʊ hi hæd ɪt ɪn ɪm.

Good lad!

gʊd læd!