Тед Лассо: Ящик для предложений

All right, fellas. Excuse me.

ɔl raɪt, ˈfɛləs. ɪkˈskjuz mi.

Listen up!

ˈlɪsən əp!

Thank you, Coach. Now, we got Crystal Palace coming here on Saturday. Anything we need to know, Coach?

θæŋk ju, koʊʧ. naʊ, wi gɑt ˈkrɪstəl ˈpæləs ˈkəmɪŋ hir ɔn ˈsæˌtɪˌdeɪ. ˈɛniˌθɪŋ wi nid tɪ noʊ, koʊʧ?

Lot of speed on the outside.

lɔt əv spid ɔn ðə ˈaʊtˈsaɪd.

Okay. Anything else?

ˌoʊˈkeɪ. ˈɛniˌθɪŋ ɛls?

Lot of speed.

lɔt əv spid.

Okay, you heard the man. Y'all whipped them up pretty good earlier this year, so me and Coach ain't going to mess with the

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, ju hərd ðə mæn. jɔl wɪpt ðɛm əp ˈprɪti gʊd ˈərliər ðɪs jɪr, soʊ mi ənd koʊʧ eɪnt goʊɪŋ tɪ mɛs wɪθ ðə

game plan. But, we would like to start fiddling with the way we do things in the locker room. And if the Internet has taught

geɪm plæn. bət, wi wʊd laɪk tɪ stɑrt ˈfɪdlɪŋ wɪθ ðə weɪ wi du θɪŋz ɪn ðə ˈlɑkər rum. ənd ɪf ðə ˈɪntərˌnɛt həz tɔt

us anything, it's that sometimes it's easier to speak our minds anonymously. Right? So I asked Nate here to make us a good

ˈjuˈɛs ˈɛniˌθɪŋ, ɪts ðət ˈsəmˌtaɪmz ɪts ˈiziər tɪ spik ɑr maɪndz əˈnɑnəməsli. raɪt? soʊ aɪ æst neɪt hir tɪ meɪk ˈjuˈɛs ə gʊd

old-fashioned suggestion box. Hey, look at that.

ˌoʊldˈfæʃənd səˈʤɛsʧən bɑks. heɪ, lʊk æt ðət.

Yeah, did it with my niece. She loves crafts.

jæ, dɪd ɪt wɪθ maɪ nis. ʃi ləvz kræfts.

Yeah. I love glimpses into your personal life. This is lovely.

jæ. aɪ ləv ˈglɪmpsɪz ˈɪntu jʊr ˈpərsɪnəl laɪf. ðɪs ɪz ˈləvli.

So, if anything's got y'all hot and bothered, just go ahead and drop us a note. You could have issue with the color of the towels

soʊ, ɪf ˈɛniˌθɪŋz gɑt jɔl hɑt ənd ˈbɑðərd, ʤɪst goʊ əˈhɛd ənd drɔp ˈjuˈɛs ə noʊt. ju kʊd hæv ˈɪʃu wɪθ ðə ˈkələr əv ðə taʊəlz

or, heck, the food in the vending machine. Sound good? Okay, great. See y'all tomorrow.

ər, hɛk, ðə fud ɪn ðə ˈvɛndɪŋ məˈʃin. saʊnd gʊd? ˌoʊˈkeɪ, greɪt. si jɔl təˈmɑˌroʊ.

Oi. We're middle of the table, we've lost three of four, and you wanna know if the snacks in the locker room are tasty enough?

ɔɪ. wɪr ˈmɪdəl əv ðə ˈteɪbəl, wiv lɔst θri əv fɔr, ənd ju ˈwɑnə noʊ ɪf ðə snæks ɪn ðə ˈlɑkər rum ər ˈteɪsti ɪˈnəf?

Are they?

ər ðeɪ?

Jesus Christ.

ˈʤizəs kraɪst.

They are not.

ðeɪ ər nɑt.

Sam's down in every stat since Nigeria. Maybe the Premiership's too much for him.

sæmz daʊn ɪn ˈɛvəri stæt sɪns naɪˈʤɪriə. ˈmeɪbi ðə premiership's tu məʧ fər ɪm.

No, he just needs to get a little more comfy here, that's all.

noʊ, hi ʤɪst nidz tɪ gɪt ə ˈlɪtəl mɔr ˈkəmfi hir, ðæts ɔl.

He turns 20 on Saturday.

hi tərnz 20 ɔn ˈsæˌtɪˌdeɪ.

There we go. A birthday. We'll do something special for him. Nudge that ship in the right direction, yeah?

ðɛr wi goʊ. ə ˈbərθˌdeɪ. wɪl du ˈsəmθɪŋ ˈspɛʃəl fər ɪm. nəʤ ðət ʃɪp ɪn ðə raɪt dɪˈrɛkʃɪn, jæ?

Hey. Let's see what we got here. "Wanker." Let's see what else we got. "Piss off, wanker." "I hope you choke on a Big Mac."

heɪ. lɛts si wət wi gɑt hir. "wanker." lɛts si wət ɛls wi gɑt. "pɪs ɔf, wanker." "aɪ hoʊp ju ʧoʊk ɔn ə bɪg mæk."

Good thing these are anonymous.

gʊd θɪŋ ðiz ər əˈnɑnəməs.

No, Roy signed that one.

noʊ, rɔɪ saɪnd ðət wən.

Here's a good one. "Shower pressure is rubbish." Make a note of that. "Wanker." Yep. I'm not going to say that word out loud. Another "wanker."

hɪrz ə gʊd wən. "ʃaʊər ˈprɛʃər ɪz ˈrəbɪʃ." meɪk ə noʊt əv ðət. "wanker." jɛp. əm nɑt goʊɪŋ tɪ seɪ ðət wərd aʊt laʊd. əˈnəðər "wanker."

You don't want to let them call you a wanker, Ted. It's bad.

ju doʊnt wɔnt tɪ lɛt ðɛm kɔl ju ə wanker, tɛd. ɪts bæd.

What's a wanker?

wəts ə wanker?

I'm a visual learner, so that's very helpful. Thank you.

əm ə ˈvɪʒəwəl ˈlərnər, soʊ ðæts ˈvɛri ˈhɛlpfəl. θæŋk ju.

My pleasure.

maɪ ˈplɛʒər.

Boy, that is bad. Somebody ought to check this thing's prostate. Jeez.

bɔɪ, ðət ɪz bæd. ˈsəmˌbɑdi ɔt tɪ ʧɛk ðɪs θɪŋz ˈprɑˌsteɪt. ʤiz.

Hey, Sam. You have got to pop upstairs real quick. Higgins wants to talk to you. Move it, move it.

heɪ, sæm. ju hæv gɑt tɪ pɑp əpˈstɛrz ril kwɪk. ˈhɪgɪnz wɔnts tɪ tɔk tɪ ju. muv ɪt, muv ɪt.

Yep, yep. He's gone, he's gone.

jɛp, jɛp. hiz gɔn, hiz gɔn.

Hey. Yo, hey, guys. Listen up, listen up. Okay, Sam's birthday is on Saturday. So I was thinking we'd all chip in

heɪ. joʊ, heɪ, gaɪz. ˈlɪsən əp, ˈlɪsən əp. ˌoʊˈkeɪ, sæmz ˈbərθˌdeɪ ɪz ɔn ˈsæˌtɪˌdeɪ. soʊ aɪ wɑz ˈθɪŋkɪŋ wid ɔl ʧɪp ɪn

and get him something nice. Nice gift or something. Right?

ənd gɪt ɪm ˈsəmθɪŋ nis. nis gɪft ər ˈsəmθɪŋ. raɪt?

So, Nate's going to be coming around with yet another impressive box. Look at this. It's got a face!

soʊ, neɪts goʊɪŋ tɪ bi ˈkəmɪŋ əraʊnd wɪθ jɛt əˈnəðər ˌɪmˈprɛsɪv bɑks. lʊk æt ðɪs. ɪts gɑt ə feɪs!

He has a face.

hi həz ə feɪs.

Sorry, it. He. He. You put the money in his mouth.

ˈsɑri, ɪt. hi. hi. ju pʊt ðə ˈməni ɪn hɪz maʊθ.

Okay, you hear that, y'all? Got it? Okay, good. Go get them, Nate. Okay? Help him out.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, ju hir ðət, jɔl? gɑt ɪt? ˌoʊˈkeɪ, gʊd. goʊ gɪt ðɛm, neɪt. ˌoʊˈkeɪ? hɛlp ɪm aʊt.

All right. Lovely. Thanks, Colin. You put the money in his mouth.

ɔl raɪt. ˈləvli. θæŋks, ˈkoʊlɪn. ju pʊt ðə ˈməni ɪn hɪz maʊθ.

Yummy for you. It's spearmint. Make the money smell nice.

ˈjəmi fər ju. ɪts spearmint. meɪk ðə ˈməni smɛl nis.

Thank you, Jamie. That's incredibly thoughtful.

θæŋk ju, ˈʤeɪmi. ðæts ˌɪnˈkrɛdəbli ˈθɔtfəl.

Hey, Jamie. Real quick. Just wanna have a chat. Did you put gum in the box there?

heɪ, ˈʤeɪmi. ril kwɪk. ʤɪst ˈwɑnə hæv ə ʧæt. dɪd ju pʊt gəm ɪn ðə bɑks ðɛr?

Yeah. Yeah.

jæ. jæ.

Now, why did you go and do that?

naʊ, waɪ dɪd ju goʊ ənd du ðət?

Sorry, Coach.

ˈsɑri, koʊʧ.

Nate's just trying to help us out here. He's part of the team, right?

neɪts ʤɪst traɪɪŋ tɪ hɛlp ˈjuˈɛs aʊt hir. hiz pɑrt əv ðə tim, raɪt?

Yeah, right, Coach. Yeah, yeah. And I see this team like a band.

jæ, raɪt, koʊʧ. jæ, jæ. ənd aɪ si ðɪs tim laɪk ə bænd.

I love that.

aɪ ləv ðət.

And if we were the Rolling Stones, I'd be Mick Jagger because I'm the front man. I got the moves.

ənd ɪf wi wər ðə ˈroʊlɪŋ stoʊnz, aɪd bi mɪk ˈʤægər bɪˈkəz əm ðə frənt mæn. aɪ gɑt ðə muvz.

Got a tiny waist, yeah. The whole bit. I get it.

gɑt ə ˈtaɪni weɪst, jæ. ðə hoʊl bɪt. aɪ gɪt ɪt.

And Roy would be Keith Richards, because he's old and everyone's surprised he ain't dead yet.

ənd rɔɪ wʊd bi kiθ ˈrɪʧərdz, bɪˈkəz hiz oʊld ənd ˈɛvriˌwənz səˈpraɪzd hi eɪnt dɛd jɛt.

What the fuck are you saying?

wət ðə fək ər ju seɪɪŋ?

Roy, mate, if you're going to go to the shower, you should take your sweater off first, pal.

rɔɪ, meɪt, ɪf jʊr goʊɪŋ tɪ goʊ tɪ ðə ʃaʊər, ju ʃʊd teɪk jʊr sˈwɛtər ɔf fərst, pæl.

I'm just taking the piss, mate. I'll be better. Promise.

əm ʤɪst ˈteɪkɪŋ ðə pɪs, meɪt. aɪl bi ˈbɛtər. ˈprɑməs.

Glad to hear it.

glæd tɪ hir ɪt.