Тед Лассо: Новая схема Нейта

Crystal Palace kicked our booties last week. And this here, is our current offense that we are running, and I think it stinks! Get rid of it.

ˈkrɪstəl ˈpæləs kɪkt ɑr ˈbutiz læst wik. ənd ðɪs hir, ɪz ɑr ˈkɑrənt əˈfɛns ðət wi ər ˈrənɪŋ, ənd aɪ θɪŋk ɪt stɪŋks! gɪt rɪd əv ɪt.

Now, you might be wondering why'd I draw all that up there just to erase it. And that is because I believe in symbolic gestures.

naʊ, ju maɪt bi ˈwəndərɪŋ waɪd aɪ drɔ ɔl ðət əp ðɛr ʤɪst tɪ ɪˈreɪs ɪt. ənd ðət ɪz bɪˈkəz aɪ bɪˈliv ɪn sɪmˈbɑlɪk ˈʤɛsʧərz.

As do I.

ɛz du aɪ.

What time did you get home last night?

wət taɪm dɪd ju gɪt hoʊm læst naɪt?

Didn't.

ˈdɪdənt.

Really? Now, look, our whole offense right now is all give-and-go. Give the ball to Jamie and everyone else can go to hell. So, I am officially on the prowl for any new ideas, you hear?

ˈrɪli? naʊ, lʊk, ɑr hoʊl əˈfɛns raɪt naʊ ɪz ɔl give-and-go. gɪv ðə bɔl tɪ ˈʤeɪmi ənd ˈɛvriˌwən ɛls kən goʊ tɪ hɛl. soʊ, aɪ æm əˈfɪʃəli ɔn ðə praʊl fər ˈɛni nu aɪˈdiəz, ju hir?

You got something, Nate?

ju gɑt ˈsəmθɪŋ, neɪt?

No. So... No. No. God, no. Never mind, I'm sorry.

noʊ. soʊ... noʊ. noʊ. gɑd, noʊ. ˈnɛvər maɪnd, əm ˈsɑri.

Come on now. You're one of us. Let's go. Fire away. What do you got?

kəm ɔn naʊ. jʊr wən əv ˈjuˈɛs. lɛts goʊ. faɪər əˈweɪ. wət du ju gɑt?

Okay, right. Well, it's just... No, other pocket. It's just something that I thought of. Sorry. Jesus. Not that one. You know what, it's not even very good. It's probably really bad. It's embarrassing even. I just...

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, raɪt. wɛl, ɪts ʤɪst... noʊ, ˈəðər ˈpɑkət. ɪts ʤɪst ˈsəmθɪŋ ðət aɪ θɔt əv. ˈsɑri. ˈʤizəs. nɑt ðət wən. ju noʊ wət, ɪts nɑt ˈivɪn ˈvɛri gʊd. ɪts ˈprɑbəˌbli ˈrɪli bæd. ɪts ɪmˈbɛrəsɪŋ ˈivɪn. aɪ ʤɪst...

Sorry, Nate. I have a real tricky time hearing folks that don't believe in themselves. I'm going to ask you real quick again. Do you think this idea will work?

ˈsɑri, neɪt. aɪ hæv ə ril ˈtrɪki taɪm ˈhirɪŋ foʊks ðət doʊnt bɪˈliv ɪn ðɛmˈsɛlvz. əm goʊɪŋ tɪ æsk ju ril kwɪk əˈgɛn. du ju θɪŋk ðɪs aɪˈdiə wɪl wərk?

Yeah, I do.

jæ, aɪ du.

Why you screaming at us, Nate? We're right here. All right, come on now. Walk us through it.

waɪ ju ˈskrimɪŋ æt ˈjuˈɛs, neɪt? wɪr raɪt hir. ɔl raɪt, kəm ɔn naʊ. wɔk ˈjuˈɛs θru ɪt.

Okay. So, I thought if we started the attack on the wing, Jamie could run through nearside, then when the defense follows, Sam could fill his spot.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ. soʊ, aɪ θɔt ɪf wi ˈstɑrtɪd ðə əˈtæk ɔn ðə wɪŋ, ˈʤeɪmi kʊd rən θru nearside, ðɛn wɪn ðə dɪˈfɛns ˈfɑloʊz, sæm kʊd fɪl hɪz spɑt.

So, use Jamie as a decoy?

soʊ, juz ˈʤeɪmi ɛz ə dəˈkɔɪ?

No. No. Well, yeah, in... Yeah, in this case, yes.

noʊ. noʊ. wɛl, jæ, ɪn... jæ, ɪn ðɪs keɪs, jɛs.

Let's give it a shot.

lɛts gɪv ɪt ə ʃɑt.

What, you're going to use my play?

wət, jʊr goʊɪŋ tɪ juz maɪ pleɪ?

Yeah. I mean, we're going to try it on, see if it fits. You know, it might not. Then again, it might be a very flattering silhouette, and I might wear it right out of the store.

jæ. aɪ min, wɪr goʊɪŋ tɪ traɪ ɪt ɔn, si ɪf ɪt fɪts. ju noʊ, ɪt maɪt nɑt. ðɛn əˈgɛn, ɪt maɪt bi ə ˈvɛri ˈflætərɪŋ ˌsɪləˈwɛt, ənd aɪ maɪt wɛr ɪt raɪt aʊt əv ðə stɔr.

There you go.

ðɛr ju goʊ.

Thank you. So, I spoke to the owner of The Sun.

θæŋk ju. soʊ, aɪ spoʊk tɪ ðə ˈoʊnər əv ðə sən.

You spoke to God?

ju spoʊk tɪ gɑd?

No, the newspaper.

noʊ, ðə ˈnuzˌpeɪpər.

Oh, right.

oʊ, raɪt.

And he has agreed to not run the photo of you and Keeley.

ənd hi həz əˈgrid tɪ nɑt rən ðə ˈfoʊˌtoʊ əv ju ənd ˈkili.

MVP! MVP! MVP!

mvp! mvp! mvp!

Yes. Okay, thank you, Ted.

jɛs. ˌoʊˈkeɪ, θæŋk ju, tɛd.

Sorry. Yeah, no. You were saying. Go ahead.

ˈsɑri. jæ, noʊ. ju wər seɪɪŋ. goʊ əˈhɛd.

In exchange, I've agreed for his more reputable newspaper, The Independent, to do a profile on you. "One-on-One with Coach Lasso."

ɪn ɪksˈʧeɪnʤ, aɪv əˈgrid fər hɪz mɔr ˈrɛpjətəbəl ˈnuzˌpeɪpər, ðə ˌɪndɪˈpɛndənt, tɪ du ə ˈproʊˌfaɪl ɔn ju. "ˌwənɔnˈwən wɪθ koʊʧ ˈlæsoʊ."

Yeah, okay.

jæ, ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

The writer will be Trent Crimm. And he's very good, and the supporters really listen to him.

ðə ˈraɪtər wɪl bi trɛnt krɪm. ənd hiz ˈvɛri gʊd, ənd ðə səˈpɔrtərz ˈrɪli ˈlɪsən tɪ ɪm.

Oh, no. I know Trent, yeah. He's a tough cookie.

oʊ, noʊ. aɪ noʊ trɛnt, jæ. hiz ə təf ˈkʊki.

Really?

ˈrɪli?

Yeah, but that's okay. You know what you do with tough cookies, don't ya?

jæ, bət ðæts ˌoʊˈkeɪ. ju noʊ wət ju du wɪθ təf ˈkʊkiz, doʊnt jɑ?

No.

noʊ.

Dip them in milk.

dɪp ðɛm ɪn mɪlk.

All right, let's run that new one. Hey, there he is.

ɔl raɪt, lɛts rən ðət nu wən. heɪ, ðɛr hi ɪz.

Hello, Coach Ted Lasso from America.

hɛˈloʊ, koʊʧ tɛd ˈlæsoʊ frəm əˈmɛrɪkə.

Hello, Trent Crimm from The Independent. Hey, excited to spend the day with ya. It is going to be fun. And please, call me Ted. All right, let's go!

hɛˈloʊ, trɛnt krɪm frəm ðə ˌɪndɪˈpɛndənt. heɪ, ɪkˈsaɪtɪd tɪ spɛnd ðə deɪ wɪθ jɑ. ɪt ɪz goʊɪŋ tɪ bi fən. ənd pliz, kɔl mi tɛd. ɔl raɪt, lɛts goʊ!

Wide open. Yeah! Snuck it by him. Thataway, Sammy. How'd that feel?

waɪd ˈoʊpən. jæ! snək ɪt baɪ ɪm. thataway, ˈsæmi. haʊd ðət fil?

Oh, wonderful, Coach. I felt that one in my penis.

oʊ, ˈwəndərfəl, koʊʧ. aɪ fɛlt ðət wən ɪn maɪ ˈpinɪs.

Yeah. No, that sounds about right. That's good. Yeah. Hey, Jamie, you gotta sell that run-through hard, baby. Make the defense believe you. Watch, like this. Ball! Ball! Give me the ball! I want the ball! Give me the ball! I would like the ball, please!

jæ. noʊ, ðət saʊnz əˈbaʊt raɪt. ðæts gʊd. jæ. heɪ, ˈʤeɪmi, ju ˈgɑtə sɛl ðət run-through hɑrd, ˈbeɪbi. meɪk ðə dɪˈfɛns bɪˈliv ju. wɔʧ, laɪk ðɪs. bɔl! bɔl! gɪv mi ðə bɔl! aɪ wɔnt ðə bɔl! gɪv mi ðə bɔl! aɪ wʊd laɪk ðə bɔl, pliz!

Make it a performance. I want you winning an Oscar at the ESPYs next year.

meɪk ɪt ə pərˈfɔrməns. aɪ wɔnt ju ˈwɪnɪŋ ən ˈɔskər æt ðə espys nɛkst jɪr.

You want me to run decoy?

ju wɔnt mi tɪ rən dəˈkɔɪ?

Yeah, that's right.

jæ, ðæts raɪt.

It's a joke. Unfortunately for you, though, no one thinks it's funny.

ɪts ə ʤoʊk. ənˈfɔrʧənətli fər ju, ðoʊ, noʊ wən θɪŋks ɪts ˈfəni.

Is that true?

ɪz ðət tru?

Agree to disagree. I find it hilarious.

əˈgri tɪ dɪsəˈgri. aɪ faɪnd ɪt hɪˈlɛriəs.

All right, fellas, let's run it again. Let's go.

ɔl raɪt, ˈfɛləs, lɛts rən ɪt əˈgɛn. lɛts goʊ.

Cheers.

ʧɪrz.

Yeah, they're getting it. They're getting it.

jæ, ðɛr ˈgɪtɪŋ ɪt. ðɛr ˈgɪtɪŋ ɪt.

Interesting play, Ted. Did you come up with this?

ˈɪntəˌrɛstɪŋ pleɪ, tɛd. dɪd ju kəm əp wɪθ ðɪs?

Oh, no, no, no. This is all cooked up by our very own Nate the Great.

oʊ, noʊ, noʊ, noʊ. ðɪs ɪz ɔl kʊkt əp baɪ ɑr ˈvɛri oʊn neɪt ðə greɪt.

Who's "Nate the Great"?

huz "neɪt ðə greɪt"?

Oh, yeah. There he is.

oʊ, jæ. ðɛr hi ɪz.

Someone's been walking their dog here. Found another poo.

ˈsəmˌwənz bɪn ˈwɔkɪŋ ðɛr dɔg hir. faʊnd əˈnəðər pu.

Okay.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

What exactly does "Nate the Great" do?

wət ɪgˈzæktli dɪz "neɪt ðə greɪt" du?

I'm not exactly sure what his title is. Hey, Coach. What is Nate's job around here?

əm nɑt ɪgˈzæktli ʃʊr wət hɪz ˈtaɪtəl ɪz. heɪ, koʊʧ. wət ɪz neɪts ʤɑb əraʊnd hir?

Kit man.

kɪt mæn.

There you go. Kit man.

ðɛr ju goʊ. kɪt mæn.

Do you mean to tell me you're entrusting a Premier League team's attack to the kit man?

du ju min tɪ tɛl mi jʊr ɛnˈtrəstɪŋ ə prɛˈmɪr lig timz əˈtæk tɪ ðə kɪt mæn?

That young fellow's forgotten more about this sport than I'll ever know. Heck, might be a genius. Anything to add, Coach?

ðət jəŋ ˈfɛloʊz fərˈgɑtən mɔr əˈbaʊt ðɪs spɔrt ðən aɪl ˈɛvər noʊ. hɛk, maɪt bi ə ˈʤinjəs. ˈɛniˌθɪŋ tɪ æd, koʊʧ?

Good kid.

gʊd kɪd.

Boy, oh boy. If you knew Coach Beard, you'd know what a big deal that was. You mean that, don't you?

bɔɪ, oʊ bɔɪ. ɪf ju nu koʊʧ bɪrd, jʊd noʊ wət ə bɪg dil ðət wɑz. ju min ðət, doʊnt ju?