Тед Лассо: Знакомьтесь, Тед Лассо

This is a bit of surprising news from the other side of the Atlantic. AFC Richmond announced the hiring of their new manager, one Theodore "Ted" Lasso.

ðɪs ɪz ə bɪt əv səˈpraɪzɪŋ nuz frəm ðə ˈəðər saɪd əv ðə əˈtlæntɪk. afc ˈrɪʧmənd əˈnaʊnst ðə ˈhaɪrɪŋ əv ðɛr nu ˈmænɪʤər, wən ˈθiəˌdɔr "tɛd" ˈlæsoʊ.

Of course, recently, it was Coach Lasso leading the Division II Wichita State Shockers to their first ever national title in American football. He took the Shockers from a garbage program all the way to the promised land in his very first season as head coach.

əv kɔrs, ˈrisəntli, ɪt wɑz koʊʧ ˈlæsoʊ ˈlidɪŋ ðə dɪˈvɪʒən ii ˈwɪʧəˌtɔ steɪt shockers tɪ ðɛr fərst ˈɛvər ˈnæʃənəl ˈtaɪtəl ɪn əˈmɛrɪkən ˈfʊtˌbɔl. hi tʊk ðə shockers frəm ə ˈgɑrbɪʤ ˈproʊˌgræm ɔl ðə weɪ tɪ ðə ˈprɑməst lænd ɪn hɪz ˈvɛri fərst ˈsizən ɛz hɛd koʊʧ.

But for a lot of us, that's not how Ted Lasso found his way into our hearts, certainly not into our living rooms. For me, it'll always be Ted... celebrating a moment of joy with his team in a way that you really have to see to understand. And then, even when you see it... I don't necessarily know that understanding is what we're doing.

bət fər ə lɔt əv ˈjuˈɛs, ðæts nɑt haʊ tɛd ˈlæsoʊ faʊnd hɪz weɪ ˈɪntu ɑr hɑrts, ˈsərtənli nɑt ˈɪntu ɑr ˈlɪvɪŋ rumz. fər mi, ˈɪtəl ˈɔlˌweɪz bi tɛd... ˈsɛləˌbreɪtɪŋ ə ˈmoʊmənt əv ʤɔɪ wɪθ hɪz tim ɪn ə weɪ ðət ju ˈrɪli hæv tɪ si tɪ ˌəndərˈstænd. ənd ðɛn, ˈivɪn wɪn ju si ɪt... aɪ doʊnt ˌnɛsəˈsɛrəli noʊ ðət ˌəndərˈstændɪŋ ɪz wət wɪr duɪŋ.

Right on, Ted. Do your thing, man. And good luck with the most beautiful game. Do us proud. Go, America.

raɪt ɔn, tɛd. du jʊr θɪŋ, mæn. ənd gʊd lək wɪθ ðə moʊst ˈbjutəfəl geɪm. du ˈjuˈɛs praʊd. goʊ, əˈmɛrɪkə.

Feels different, Coach. I mean, the same, but different.

filz ˈdɪfərənt, koʊʧ. aɪ min, ðə seɪm, bət ˈdɪfərənt.

Metaphor?

ˈmɛtəfɔr?

You know it, baby.

ju noʊ ɪt, ˈbeɪbi.

Oi! Oi! Excuse me! Oi! Hello! Off! Off! Stop touching the grass! Get off! Get off the pitch! Stop touching the grass! Please!

ɔɪ! ɔɪ! ɪkˈskjuz mi! ɔɪ! hɛˈloʊ! ɔf! ɔf! stɑp ˈtəʧɪŋ ðə græs! gɪt ɔf! gɪt ɔf ðə pɪʧ! stɑp ˈtəʧɪŋ ðə græs! pliz!

Yep, yep, yep. Yeah.

jɛp, jɛp, jɛp. jæ.

Who are you?

hu ər ju?

I'm Ted Lasso. This is Coach Beard here.

əm tɛd ˈlæsoʊ. ðɪs ɪz koʊʧ bɪrd hir.

Oh, God. You're the new manager.

oʊ, gɑd. jʊr ðə nu ˈmænɪʤər.

Yes, sir.

jɛs, sər.

Take all the grass you want.

teɪk ɔl ðə græs ju wɔnt.

Oh, no...

oʊ, noʊ...

We just had it cut. I can go through the garbage if you want. I can get you some more.

wi ʤɪst hæd ɪt kət. aɪ kən goʊ θru ðə ˈgɑrbɪʤ ɪf ju wɔnt. aɪ kən gɪt ju səm mɔr.

That's all right. No need.

ðæts ɔl raɪt. noʊ nid.

Thank you.

θæŋk ju.

Yeah. Yeah.

jæ. jæ.

Still, we got to get off the grass.

stɪl, wi gɑt tɪ gɪt ɔf ðə græs.

Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Do we apologize? Sorry about that, grass. Sorry, grass.

jæ, jæ. ˌæbsəˈlutli. du wi əˈpɑləˌʤaɪz? ˈsɑri əˈbaʊt ðət, græs. ˈsɑri, græs.

So, we're supposed to meet with a Rebecca Welton.

soʊ, wɪr səˈpoʊzd tɪ mit wɪθ ə rəˈbɛkə ˈwɛltən.

Yeah, that's where I'm taking you.

jæ, ðæts wɛr əm ˈteɪkɪŋ ju.

Look at this guy. One step ahead. Hey, what's your name, by the way?

lʊk æt ðɪs gaɪ. wən stɛp əˈhɛd. heɪ, wəts jʊr neɪm, baɪ ðə weɪ?

Me?

mi?

Yeah.

jæ.

No one ever asks my name.

noʊ wən ˈɛvər æsks maɪ neɪm.

I mean, whenever you're ready.

aɪ min, wɛˈnɛvər jʊr ˈrɛdi.

Oh, it's Nathan.

oʊ, ɪts ˈneɪθən.

Nathan! I love that name. Hey, love your hot dogs.

ˈneɪθən! aɪ ləv ðət neɪm. heɪ, ləv jʊr hɑt dɔgz.

Yeah. No, I know.

jæ. noʊ, aɪ noʊ.

Good, good. Y'all got Nathan's hot dogs here?

gʊd, gʊd. jɔl gɑt ˈneɪθənz hɑt dɔgz hir?

No.

noʊ.

Okay. I love this kid. Love him.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ. aɪ ləv ðɪs kɪd. ləv ɪm.

I'll introduce you. Big boss.

aɪl ˌɪntrəˈdus ju. bɪg bɔs.

Here we go.

hir wi goʊ.

Hello.

hɛˈloʊ.

Hey, how y'all doing? I'm Ted Lasso, your new coach. You must be Ms. Welton.

heɪ, haʊ jɔl duɪŋ? əm tɛd ˈlæsoʊ, jʊr nu koʊʧ. ju məst bi mɪz. ˈwɛltən.

Please, call me Rebecca.

pliz, kɔl mi rəˈbɛkə.

This here is Coach Beard.

ðɪs hir ɪz koʊʧ bɪrd.

It is so good to finally meet you both face-to-face. Higgins? Sorry. This is Higgins, our current director of communications.

ɪt ɪz soʊ gʊd tɪ ˈfaɪnəli mit ju boʊθ ˈfeɪstuˈfeɪs. ˈhɪgɪnz? ˈsɑri. ðɪs ɪz ˈhɪgɪnz, ɑr ˈkɑrənt dɪˈrɛktər əv kəmˌjunəˈkeɪʃənz.

Current?

ˈkɑrənt?

Could you take Coach Beard and get him their IDs, housing information. You know, anything they need.

kʊd ju teɪk koʊʧ bɪrd ənd gɪt ɪm ðɛr ˈaɪˈdiz, ˈhaʊzɪŋ ˌɪnˌfɔrˈmeɪʃən. ju noʊ, ˈɛniˌθɪŋ ðeɪ nid.

Wi-Fi password, wet wipes.

ˈwaɪˌfaɪ ˈpæsˌwərd, wɛt waɪps.

Humidifier. Way ahead of you, Coach.

hjuˈmɪdəˌfaɪər. weɪ əˈhɛd əv ju, koʊʧ.

Thank you.

θæŋk ju.

Please, take a seat.

pliz, teɪk ə sit.

Okay.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

Can I get you something to drink?

kən aɪ gɪt ju ˈsəmθɪŋ tɪ drɪŋk?

Yes, please. Didn't get much sleep on the plane, so anything you got, a little boost of caffeine, should do the trick. You know, mochaccino, Frappuccino, any coffee thing, as long as I can't taste a hint of coffee, is good.

jɛs, pliz. ˈdɪdənt gɪt məʧ slip ɔn ðə pleɪn, soʊ ˈɛniˌθɪŋ ju gɑt, ə ˈlɪtəl bust əv kæˈfin, ʃʊd du ðə trɪk. ju noʊ, mochaccino, frappuccino, ˈɛni ˈkɔfi θɪŋ, ɛz lɔŋ ɛz aɪ kænt teɪst ə hɪnt əv ˈkɔfi, ɪz gʊd.

How do you take your tea?

haʊ du ju teɪk jʊr ti?

Well, usually I take it right back to the counter because someone's made a horrible mistake. But when in Rome, right? Yeah. Look at that. Okay.

wɛl, ˈjuʒəwəli aɪ teɪk ɪt raɪt bæk tɪ ðə ˈkaʊntər bɪˈkəz ˈsəmˌwənz meɪd ə ˈhɔrəbəl mɪˈsteɪk. bət wɪn ɪn roʊm, raɪt? jæ. lʊk æt ðət. ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

Well?

wɛl?

You know, I always figured that tea was just going to taste like hot brown water. And you know what? I was right. Yeah, it's horrible. No, thank you.

ju noʊ, aɪ ˈɔlˌweɪz ˈfɪgjərd ðət ti wɑz ʤɪst goʊɪŋ tɪ teɪst laɪk hɑt braʊn ˈwɔtər. ənd ju noʊ wət? aɪ wɑz raɪt. jæ, ɪts ˈhɔrəbəl. noʊ, θæŋk ju.

Welcome to England.

ˈwɛlkəm tɪ ˈɪŋglənd.