Как я встретил вашу маму: Как получиться на фото

Wait a second. Look at these pictures again. Barney has the same pose in each shot. And these are, like, years apart.

weɪt ə ˈsɛkənd. lʊk æt ðiz ˈpɪkʧərz əˈgɛn. ˈbɑrni həz ðə seɪm poʊz ɪn iʧ ʃɑt. ənd ðiz ər, laɪk, jɪrz əˈpɑrt.

Ah, yes, about that. I never take a bad picture. Never have, never will.

ɑ, jɛs, əˈbaʊt ðət. aɪ ˈnɛvər teɪk ə bæd ˈpɪkʧər. ˈnɛvər hæv, ˈnɛvər wɪl.

Get the.. There has to be a bad picture of you.

gɪt ðə.. ðɛr həz tɪ bi ə bæd ˈpɪkʧər əv ju.

Nope, not one.

noʊp, nɑt wən.

What about from elementary school? Everyone has bad pictures from school.

wət əˈbaʊt frəm ˌɛləˈmɛnʧri skul? ˈɛvriˌwən həz bæd ˈpɪkʧərz frəm skul.

Not the Barnacle. I always look drop-dead, stone-cold amazing. Unlike Marshall, who just looks dead, stoned, and cold.

nɑt ðə ˈbɑrnəkəl. aɪ ˈɔlˌweɪz lʊk drop-dead, stone-cold əˈmeɪzɪŋ. ənˈlaɪk ˈmɑrʃəl, hu ʤɪst lʊks dɛd, stoʊnd, ənd koʊld.

He was right, kids. Your Uncle Marshall does a lot of things well, but he does not take a good picture.

hi wɑz raɪt, kɪdz. jʊr ˈəŋkəl ˈmɑrʃəl dɪz ə lɔt əv θɪŋz wɛl, bət hi dɪz nɑt teɪk ə gʊd ˈpɪkʧər.

They’re not all bad, okay? Like here, here, look at this one! My eyes are open.

they’re nɑt ɔl bæd, ˌoʊˈkeɪ? laɪk hir, hir, lʊk æt ðɪs wən! maɪ aɪz ər ˈoʊpən.

Chip and dip, Barney?

ʧɪp ənd dɪp, ˈbɑrni?

Sure.

ʃʊr.

Aha got it. A bad picture.

ˌɑˈhɑ gɑt ɪt. ə bæd ˈpɪkʧər.

Is it, though?

ɪz ɪt, ðoʊ?

No, wait. You were eating a chip! Where’s the chip?

noʊ, weɪt. ju wər ˈitɪŋ ə ʧɪp! where’s ðə ʧɪp?

It is physically impossible for me to take a bad picture. I don’t know why. Ask God.

ɪt ɪz ˈfɪzɪkəli ˌɪmˈpɑsəbəl fər mi tɪ teɪk ə bæd ˈpɪkʧər. aɪ don’t noʊ waɪ. æsk gɑd.

Oh, oopsies! Hey, I dropped my phone. You mind picking it up for me?

oʊ, oopsies! heɪ, aɪ drɑpt maɪ foʊn. ju maɪnd ˈpɪkɪŋ ɪt əp fər mi?

Yeah, sure.

jæ, ʃʊr.

Smile, you son of a bitch! Got it!

smaɪl, ju sən əv ə bɪʧ! gɑt ɪt!

Did you, though?

dɪd ju, ðoʊ?

What? How did you do that? You weren’t even standing up!

wət? haʊ dɪd ju du ðət? ju weren’t ˈivɪn ˈstændɪŋ əp!

The camera loves me, Robin. More than loves me, the camera lusts after me. The camera...

ðə ˈkæmərə ləvz mi, ˈrɑbɪn. mɔr ðən ləvz mi, ðə ˈkæmərə lusts ˈæftər mi. ðə ˈkæmərə...

All right, people, gather around. Let’s make a memory.

ɔl raɪt, ˈpipəl, ˈgæðər əraʊnd. let’s meɪk ə ˈmɛməri.

Okay, Marshall. Marshall, try this: keep your eyes closed until the last second, and when I say so, open them.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, ˈmɑrʃəl. ˈmɑrʃəl, traɪ ðɪs: kip jʊr aɪz kloʊzd ənˈtɪl ðə læst ˈsɛkənd, ənd wɪn aɪ seɪ soʊ, ˈoʊpən ðɛm.

Okay.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

Hey, Barney, is that a hole in your suit jacket?

heɪ, ˈbɑrni, ɪz ðət ə hoʊl ɪn jʊr sut ˈʤækɪt?

What? Where?

wət? wɛr?

Now Marshall.

naʊ ˈmɑrʃəl.

Damn it!

dæm ɪt!