Как я встретил вашу маму: Я в тебя влюблён

As I walked up to that door, a million thoughts raced through my mind. Unfortunately, one particular thought did not.

ɛz aɪ wɔkt əp tɪ ðət dɔr, ə ˈmɪljən θɔts reɪst θru maɪ maɪnd. ənˈfɔrʧənətli, wən ˌpɑˈtɪkjələr θɔt dɪd nɑt.

I've got five dogs.

aɪv gɑt faɪv dɔgz.

Not good. Not good.

nɑt gʊd. nɑt gʊd.

Get back in there!

gɪt bæk ɪn ðɛr!

You're wearing a suit!

jʊr ˈwɛrɪŋ ə sut!

Ted?

tɛd?

Hi. I was just...

haɪ. aɪ wɑz ʤɪst...

Come on up.

kəm ɔn əp.

So, Ted, what brings you back to Brooklyn at 1:00 in the morning in a suit?

soʊ, tɛd, wət brɪŋz ju bæk tɪ ˈbrʊklɪn æt 1:00 ɪn ðə ˈmɔrnɪŋ ɪn ə sut?

I was just hoping to get those olives that you said I could have.

aɪ wɑz ʤɪst ˈhoʊpɪŋ tɪ gɪt ðoʊz ˈɑlɪvz ðət ju sɛd aɪ kʊd hæv.

Would you like those olives with some gin and vermouth?

wʊd ju laɪk ðoʊz ˈɑlɪvz wɪθ səm ʤɪn ənd vərˈmuθ?

Are you trying to get me drunk?

ər ju traɪɪŋ tɪ gɪt mi drəŋk?

For starters.

fər ˈstɑrtərz.

Thank you.

θæŋk ju.

I think I like your Olive Theory.

aɪ θɪŋk aɪ laɪk jʊr ˈɑlɪv ˈθɪri.

I think I like your new French horn.

aɪ θɪŋk aɪ laɪk jʊr nu frɛnʧ hɔrn.

I think I like your nose.

aɪ θɪŋk aɪ laɪk jʊr noʊz.

I think I'm in love with you.

aɪ θɪŋk əm ɪn ləv wɪθ ju.

You love me?

ju ləv mi?

I can't believe I said that. Why did I say that? Who says that? I should just go.

aɪ kænt bɪˈliv aɪ sɛd ðət. waɪ dɪd aɪ seɪ ðət? hu sɪz ðət? aɪ ʃʊd ʤɪst goʊ.

Hold on. Wait a minute. I promised you these.

hoʊld ɔn. weɪt ə ˈmɪnət. aɪ ˈprɑməst ju ðiz.

Olives.

ˈɑlɪvz.

Yeah.

jæ.

Thanks. I love you. What is wrong with me?

θæŋks. aɪ ləv ju. wət ɪz rɔŋ wɪθ mi?

So, when you tell this story to your friends, could you avoid the word 'psycho'? I'd prefer 'eccentric.'

soʊ, wɪn ju tɛl ðɪs ˈstɔri tɪ jʊr frɛndz, kʊd ju əˈvɔɪd ðə wərd 'ˈsaɪkoʊ'? aɪd prɪˈfər 'ˌɛkˈsɛntrɪk.'

Goodnight, psycho.

ˈgʊdˌnaɪt, ˈsaɪkoʊ.

Thanks. You know what? I'm done being single. I'm not good at it. Look, obviously, you can't tell a woman

θæŋks. ju noʊ wət? əm dən biɪŋ ˈsɪŋgəl. əm nɑt gʊd æt ɪt. lʊk, ˈɑbviəsli, ju kænt tɛl ə ˈwʊmən

you just met you love her, but it sucks that you can't. I tell you something, though. If a woman,

ju ʤɪst mɛt ju ləv hər, bət ɪt səks ðət ju kænt. aɪ tɛl ju ˈsəmθɪŋ, ðoʊ. ɪf ə ˈwʊmən,

not you, just some hypothetical woman, were to bear with me through all this, I think I'd make a damn

nɑt ju, ʤɪst səm ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl ˈwʊmən, wər tɪ bɛr wɪθ mi θru ɔl ðɪs, aɪ θɪŋk aɪd meɪk ə dæm

good husband because that's the stuff I'd be good at. Stuff like making her laugh and being a good father

gʊd ˈhəzbənd bɪˈkəz ðæts ðə stəf aɪd bi gʊd æt. stəf laɪk ˈmeɪkɪŋ hər læf ənd biɪŋ ə gʊd ˈfɑðər

and walking her five hypothetical dogs.

ənd ˈwɔkɪŋ hər faɪv ˌhaɪpəˈθɛtɪkəl dɔgz.

Good night, Ted.

gʊd naɪt, tɛd.