Как я встретил вашу маму: Надо было её поцеловать

So, these guys think I chickened out. What do you think?

soʊ, ðiz gaɪz θɪŋk aɪ ˈʧɪkənd aʊt. wət du ju θɪŋk?

I can't believe you're still not wearing a suit.

aɪ kænt bɪˈliv jʊr stɪl nɑt ˈwɛrɪŋ ə sut.

She didn't even give me the signal.

ʃi ˈdɪdənt ˈivɪn gɪv mi ðə ˈsɪgnəl.

What? Is she going to bat her eyes at you in Morse code? 'Ted, 'kiss me.' No! You just kiss her!

wət? ɪz ʃi goʊɪŋ tɪ bæt hər aɪz æt ju ɪn mɔrs koʊd? 'tɛd, 'kɪs mi.' noʊ! ju ʤɪst kɪs hər!

Not if you don't get the signal.

nɑt ɪf ju doʊnt gɪt ðə ˈsɪgnəl.

Did Marshall give me the signal? No!

dɪd ˈmɑrʃəl gɪv mi ðə ˈsɪgnəl? noʊ!

I didn't, I swear.

aɪ ˈdɪdənt, aɪ swɛr.

But, see, at least tonight, I get to sleep knowing Marshall and me, never going to happen. You should've kissed her.

bət, si, æt list təˈnaɪt, aɪ gɪt tɪ slip noʊɪŋ ˈmɑrʃəl ənd mi, ˈnɛvər goʊɪŋ tɪ ˈhæpən. ju ˈʃʊdəv kɪst hər.

I should've kissed her. Well, maybe in a week when she gets back from Orlando.

aɪ ˈʃʊdəv kɪst hər. wɛl, ˈmeɪbi ɪn ə wik wɪn ʃi gɪts bæk frəm ɔˈrlænˌdoʊ.

A week? That's like a year in hot-girl time. She'll forget all about you. Mark my words, you will never see that one again.

ə wik? ðæts laɪk ə jɪr ɪn hot-girl taɪm. ʃil fərˈgɛt ɔl əˈbaʊt ju. mɑrk maɪ wərdz, ju wɪl ˈnɛvər si ðət wən əˈgɛn.

There she is.

ðɛr ʃi ɪz.

She's cute. Hey Carl, turn it up.

ʃiz kjut. heɪ kɑrl, tərn ɪt əp.

...persuaded him to reconsider. At which point the man came down off the ledge, giving this bizarre story a happy ending.

...pərsˈweɪdɪd ɪm tɪ ˌrikənˈsɪdər. æt wɪʧ pɔɪnt ðə mæn keɪm daʊn ɔf ðə lɛʤ, ˈgɪvɪŋ ðɪs bɪˈzɑr ˈstɔri ə ˈhæpi ˈɛndɪŋ.

Reporting from Metro 1 News. Back to you, Bill.

rɪˈpɔrtɪŋ frəm ˈmɛˌtroʊ 1 nuz. bæk tɪ ju, bɪl.

huh? The guy didn't jump.

hə? ðə gaɪ ˈdɪdənt ʤəmp.

I'm going to go kiss her. Right now.

əm goʊɪŋ tɪ goʊ kɪs hər. raɪt naʊ.

Look, dude, it's midnight. As your future lawyer, I'm going to advise you that's freaking crazy.

lʊk, dud, ɪts ˈmɪdˌnaɪt. ɛz jʊr fˈjuʧər ˈlɔjər, əm goʊɪŋ tɪ ədˈvaɪz ju ðæts ˈfrikɪŋ ˈkreɪzi.

I never do anything crazy. I'm always waiting for the moment, planning the moment. Well, she's leaving tomorrow, and this may

aɪ ˈnɛvər du ˈɛniˌθɪŋ ˈkreɪzi. əm ˈɔlˌweɪz ˈweɪtɪŋ fər ðə ˈmoʊmənt, ˈplænɪŋ ðə ˈmoʊmənt. wɛl, ʃiz ˈlivɪŋ təˈmɑˌroʊ, ənd ðɪs meɪ

be the only moment I'm going to get. I'm doing this.

bi ðə ˈoʊnli ˈmoʊmənt əm goʊɪŋ tɪ gɪt. əm duɪŋ ðɪs.

Let's go.

lɛts goʊ.

Word up.

wərd əp.

We're coming with you.

wɪr ˈkəmɪŋ wɪθ ju.

Barney?

ˈbɑrni?

All right, but under one condition.

ɔl raɪt, bət ˈəndər wən kənˈdɪʃən.

Look at you, you beautiful bastard, you suited up. This is totally going in my blog.

lʊk æt ju, ju ˈbjutəfəl ˈbæstərd, ju ˈsutɪd əp. ðɪs ɪz ˈtoʊtəli goʊɪŋ ɪn maɪ blɔg.