Бойфренд из будущего: Настоящее свидание вслепую

No matter how many girls there were in the world, I always seem to end up with Rory. Until out of the blue, on a dodgy night out with dodgy Jay, something miraculous happened.

noʊ ˈmætər haʊ ˈmɛni gərlz ðɛr wər ɪn ðə wərld, aɪ ˈɔlˌweɪz sim tɪ ɛnd əp wɪθ ˈrɔri. ənˈtɪl aʊt əv ðə blu, ɔn ə dodgy naɪt aʊt wɪθ dodgy ʤeɪ, ˈsəmθɪŋ mərˈækjələs ˈhæpənd.

The waiters are, wait for this right, they're blind!

ðə ˈweɪtərz ər, weɪt fər ðɪs raɪt, ðɛr blaɪnd!

Oh, you're kidding me.

oʊ, jʊr ˈkɪdɪŋ mi.

I'm kidding you not. No, as bats. As bats!

əm ˈkɪdɪŋ ju nɑt. noʊ, ɛz bæts. ɛz bæts!

Very good to have you here, gentlemen. I hope you enjoy your experience. Carlo will show you to your table.

ˈvɛri gʊd tɪ hæv ju hir, ˈʤɛnəlmɪn. aɪ hoʊp ju ˌɛnˈʤɔɪ jʊr ɪkˈspɪriəns. ˈkɑrloʊ wɪl ʃoʊ ju tɪ jʊr ˈteɪbəl.

Great.

greɪt.

Lead on, maestro.

lɛd ɔn, ˈmaɪstroʊ.

Right. Can I have your right hand on my right shoulder please, and your friend hold on to your shoulder. Thank you. Mind the stairs and be prepared because it's completely dark.

raɪt. kən aɪ hæv jʊr raɪt hænd ɔn maɪ raɪt ˈʃoʊldər pliz, ənd jʊr frɛnd hoʊld ɔn tɪ jʊr ˈʃoʊldər. θæŋk ju. maɪnd ðə stɛrz ənd bi priˈpɛrd bɪˈkəz ɪts kəmˈplitli dɑrk.

Okay young, man. If you don't mind, I can sit here beside these two young ladies.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ jəŋ, mæn. ɪf ju doʊnt maɪnd, aɪ kən sɪt hir ˌbiˈsaɪd ðiz tu jəŋ ˈleɪdiz.

No no. Sounds absolutely perfect.

noʊ noʊ. saʊnz ˌæbsəˈlutli ˈpərˌfɪkt.

Oh god, you sound very perky.

oʊ gɑd, ju saʊnd ˈvɛri ˈpərki.

I am and very handsome.

aɪ æm ənd ˈvɛri ˈhænsəm.

Oh, I'm jumped there.

oʊ, əm ʤəmpt ðɛr.

Hi.

haɪ.

Oh hi. I'm Mary.

oʊ haɪ. əm ˈmɛri.

I'm Tim. Mary is my mother's name actually.

əm tɪm. ˈmɛri ɪz maɪ ˈməðərz neɪm ˈæˌkʧuəli.

Does it suit her?

dɪz ɪt sut hər?

Sort of, although she's sturdy, so Bernard might have been a better fit.

sɔrt əv, ˌɔlˈðoʊ ʃiz ˈstərdi, soʊ ˈbərnərd maɪt hæv bɪn ə ˈbɛtər fɪt.

Okay. Oh, something just touched my elbow.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ. oʊ, ˈsəmθɪŋ ʤɪst təʧt maɪ ˈɛlˌboʊ.

Okay, that wasn't me.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, ðət ˈwəzənt mi.

Oh no? Well that just makes it worse. If it wasn't you, who was it?

oʊ noʊ? wɛl ðət ʤɪst meɪks ɪt wərs. ɪf ɪt ˈwəzənt ju, hu wɑz ɪt?

Well, it wasn't me because I touched something else.

wɛl, ɪt ˈwəzənt mi bɪˈkəz aɪ təʧt ˈsəmθɪŋ ɛls.

Yes, and you will stop that right away! Thank you.

jɛs, ənd ju wɪl stɑp ðət raɪt əˈweɪ! θæŋk ju.

So girls, be honest. Who is more beautiful?

soʊ gərlz, bi ˈɑnəst. hu ɪz mɔr ˈbjutəfəl?

Oh, I am.

oʊ, aɪ æm.

Yeah, she is.

jæ, ʃi ɪz.

Excellent.

ˈɛksələnt.

Actually. I look like Kate Moss.

ˈæˌkʧuəli. aɪ lʊk laɪk keɪt mɔs.

Really?

ˈrɪli?

No, I sort of look like a squirrel.

noʊ, aɪ sɔrt əv lʊk laɪk ə skwərəl.

Do you like Kate Moss?

du ju laɪk keɪt mɔs?

I absolutely love her. In fact, I almost wore one of her dresses here tonight. You?

aɪ ˌæbsəˈlutli ləv hər. ɪn fækt, aɪ ˈɔlˌmoʊst wɔr wən əv hər ˈdrɛsɪz hir təˈnaɪt. ju?

No. no. Her clothes look terrible on me.

noʊ. noʊ. hər kloʊðz lʊk ˈtɛrəbəl ɔn mi.

I cannot believe that it's your birthday.

aɪ ˈkænɑt bɪˈliv ðət ɪts jʊr ˈbərθˌdeɪ.

Your friend Jay, he's quite ummm enthusiastic.

jʊr frɛnd ʤeɪ, hiz kwaɪt ummm ɪnˌθuziˈæstɪk.

I actually hate him.

aɪ ˈæˌkʧuəli heɪt ɪm.

So, maybe I'll see you outside.

soʊ, ˈmeɪbi aɪl si ju ˈaʊtˈsaɪd.

Yeah, yeah. Great.

jæ, jæ. greɪt.

Great. Scary.

greɪt. ˈskɛri.

Yeah. It's a bit scary.

jæ. ɪts ə bɪt ˈskɛri.

Oh my god. I'm so in there. What about you?

oʊ maɪ gɑd. əm soʊ ɪn ðɛr. wət əˈbaʊt ju?

I don't know, but she sounded wonderful.

aɪ doʊnt noʊ, bət ʃi ˈsaʊndɪd ˈwəndərfəl.

Joanna?

ʤoʊˈænə?

Jay!

ʤeɪ!

Christ, you're a babe. How do you fancy stretching the night out a bit? I can ditch the loser.

kraɪst, jʊr ə beɪb. haʊ du ju ˈfænsi ˈstrɛʧɪŋ ðə naɪt aʊt ə bɪt? aɪ kən dɪʧ ðə ˈluzər.

Look, we've got to rush, but help me find a cab and I might give you my number.

lʊk, wiv gɑt tɪ rəʃ, bət hɛlp mi faɪnd ə kæb ənd aɪ maɪt gɪv ju maɪ ˈnəmbər.

Of course. Yeah.

əv kɔrs. jæ.

Or I might not. I haven't decided yet.

ər aɪ maɪt nɑt. aɪ ˈhævənt ˌdɪˈsaɪdɪd jɛt.

(whispering) Yeah. I have. It's not going to happen.

(ˈwɪspərɪŋ) jæ. aɪ hæv. ɪts nɑt goʊɪŋ tɪ ˈhæpən.

Hi.

haɪ.

Where? Where...

wɛr? wɛr...

She and Jay just... She took him...

ʃi ənd ʤeɪ ʤɪst... ʃi tʊk ɪm...

Right. Oh well. I guess I'd better...

raɪt. oʊ wɛl. aɪ gɛs aɪd ˈbɛtər...

Um, would it be very wrong if I asked you for your number?

əm, wʊd ɪt bi ˈvɛri rɔŋ ɪf aɪ æst ju fər jʊr ˈnəmbər?

No.

noʊ.

Just in case I ever, you know, had to call you about...

ʤɪst ɪn keɪs aɪ ˈɛvər, ju noʊ, hæd tɪ kɔl ju əˈbaʊt...

...stuff. Okay. It's Mary.

...stəf. ˌoʊˈkeɪ. ɪts ˈmɛri.

Mary.

ˈmɛri.

Okay.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

I thought this phone was old and shit, but suddenly it's my most valuable possession.

aɪ θɔt ðɪs foʊn wɑz oʊld ənd ʃɪt, bət ˈsədənli ɪts maɪ moʊst ˈvæljəbəl pəˈzɛʃən.

You really like me? Even my frock?

ju ˈrɪli laɪk mi? ˈivɪn maɪ frɑk?

I love your frock.

aɪ ləv jʊr frɑk.

And my hair. It's not too brown?

ənd maɪ hɛr. ɪts nɑt tu braʊn?

I love brown.

aɪ ləv braʊn.

The fringe is new.

ðə frɪnʤ ɪz nu.

The fringe is perfect. The fringe is the best fit.

ðə frɪnʤ ɪz ˈpərˌfɪkt. ðə frɪnʤ ɪz ðə bɛst fɪt.

Mary. We have to go. I found a cab, and his dodgy friend is about to assault me.

ˈmɛri. wi hæv tɪ goʊ. aɪ faʊnd ə kæb, ənd hɪz dodgy frɛnd ɪz əˈbaʊt tɪ əˈsɔlt mi.

Okay! okay! I'm coming! Two seconds. I hope I see you again.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ! ˌoʊˈkeɪ! əm ˈkəmɪŋ! tu ˈsɛkəndz. aɪ hoʊp aɪ si ju əˈgɛn.

You will.

ju wɪl.

Okay. Good. Good night.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ. gʊd. gʊd naɪt.

Good night.

gʊd naɪt.