Бойфренд из будущего: Переезд в Лондон

I caught the train to London in search of a future and a girlfriend. I was staying in St. John's Wood near Abbey Road with a playwright friend of my dad's called Harry. It's always nice to have family connections when you're a new kid in town.

aɪ kɔt ðə treɪn tɪ ˈləndən ɪn sərʧ əv ə fˈjuʧər ənd ə ˈgərlˌfrɛnd. aɪ wɑz steɪɪŋ ɪn st. ʤɑnz wʊd nɪr ˈæbi roʊd wɪθ ə ˈpleɪˌraɪt frɛnd əv maɪ dædz kɔld ˈhɛri. ɪts ˈɔlˌweɪz nis tɪ hæv ˈfæməli kəˈnɛkʃənz wɪn jʊr ə nu kɪd ɪn taʊn.

What the fuck do you want?

wət ðə fək du ju wɔnt?

I'm James's son.

əm ˈʤeɪmzɪz sən.

Who?

hu?

James Lake.

ʤeɪmz leɪk.

What about him?

wət əˈbaʊt ɪm?

He said you had a room.

hi sɛd ju hæd ə rum.

Go in there and wait quietly. I mean it. Don't make a sound, or I'll kill you.

goʊ ɪn ðɛr ənd weɪt kˈwaɪətli. aɪ min ɪt. doʊnt meɪk ə saʊnd, ər aɪl kɪl ju.

I was actually having the first good idea I've had for a decade when you rang on the doorbell, but now it's gone, you little shit.

aɪ wɑz ˈæˌkʧuəli ˈhævɪŋ ðə fərst gʊd aɪˈdiə aɪv hæd fər ə ˈdɛkeɪd wɪn ju ræŋ ɔn ðə ˈdɔrˌbɛl, bət naʊ ɪts gɔn, ju ˈlɪtəl ʃɪt.

How's your dad? Weird cockeyed of a sort. Something weird about him.

haʊz jʊr dæd? wɪrd ˈkɑˌkaɪd əv ə sɔrt. ˈsəmθɪŋ wɪrd əˈbaʊt ɪm.

Really?

ˈrɪli?

Yeah, I never really liked him actually. Your mum still look like Andy Warhol?

jæ, aɪ ˈnɛvər ˈrɪli laɪkt ɪm ˈæˌkʧuəli. jʊr məm stɪl lʊk laɪk ˈændi ˈwɔrhɔl?

What?

wət?

That, by the way, is my wife.

ðət, baɪ ðə weɪ, ɪz maɪ waɪf.

Oh nice.

oʊ nis.

Yeah, you wouldn't like her at first, sarcastic cow. But eventually you'd realize that she's the best human being in the world, which is why she left me, of course. Here you go. Try not to make too much noise, particularly when having sex.

jæ, ju ˈwʊdənt laɪk hər æt fərst, sɑrˈkæstɪk kaʊ. bət ɪˈvɛnʧəwəli jʊd ˈriəˌlaɪz ðət ʃiz ðə bɛst ˈjumən biɪŋ ɪn ðə wərld, wɪʧ ɪz waɪ ʃi lɛft mi, əv kɔrs. hir ju goʊ. traɪ nɑt tɪ meɪk tu məʧ nɔɪz, ˌpɑrˈtɪkjələrli wɪn ˈhævɪŋ sɛks.

No chance of that.

noʊ ʧæns əv ðət.

Oh christ! Two losers in one house. That is my daughter. Have sex with her if you like. Apparently everyone else has.

oʊ kraɪst! tu ˈluzərz ɪn wən haʊs. ðət ɪz maɪ ˈdɔtər. hæv sɛks wɪθ hər ɪf ju laɪk. əˈpɛrəntli ˈɛvriˌwən ɛls həz.

It wasn't a hopeful setup for romance, and the work didn't help on that score either. The world of law seems to be entirely full of men.

ɪt ˈwəzənt ə ˈhoʊpfəl ˈsɛˌtəp fər ˈroʊmæns, ənd ðə wərk ˈdɪdənt hɛlp ɔn ðət skɔr ˈiðər. ðə wərld əv lɔ simz tɪ bi ɪnˈtaɪərli fʊl əv mɛn.

Hello.

hɛˈloʊ.

I'm Rory. Very pleased to meet you. A real thrill. Who knows? We might become pals, etc..

əm ˈrɔri. ˈvɛri plizd tɪ mit ju. ə ril θrɪl. hu noʊz? wi maɪt bɪˈkəm pælz, ˌɛtˈsɛtərə..

Who the hell are you?

hu ðə hɛl ər ju?

Tim Lake.

tɪm leɪk.

Well, I hope you're better than this clown. Come on, Roger.

wɛl, aɪ hoʊp jʊr ˈbɛtər ðən ðɪs klaʊn. kəm ɔn, ˈrɑʤər.

Oh, it's Rory actually. I've been here a year and a half. I'm just saying that to be nice. It's two years actually.

oʊ, ɪts ˈrɔri ˈæˌkʧuəli. aɪv bɪn hir ə jɪr ənd ə hæf. əm ʤɪst seɪɪŋ ðət tɪ bi nis. ɪts tu jɪrz ˈæˌkʧuəli.

So six lonely months went by, and it was still just me and Harry. Me lawyering every hour of the day and night, and him putting the finishing touches to his new play.

soʊ sɪks ˈloʊnli mənθs wɛnt baɪ, ənd ɪt wɑz stɪl ʤɪst mi ənd ˈhɛri. mi ˈlɔjərɪŋ ˈɛvəri aʊər əv ðə deɪ ənd naɪt, ənd ɪm ˈpʊtɪŋ ðə ˈfɪnɪʃɪŋ ˈtəʧɪz tɪ hɪz nu pleɪ.

No matter how many girls there were in the world, I always seemed to end up with Rory.

noʊ ˈmætər haʊ ˈmɛni gərlz ðɛr wər ɪn ðə wərld, aɪ ˈɔlˌweɪz simd tɪ ɛnd əp wɪθ ˈrɔri.

Hello.

hɛˈloʊ.