Бойфренд из будущего: Музей

Thanks for keeping me company, Kittle.

θæŋks fər ˈkipɪŋ mi ˈkəmpəˌni, ˈkɪtəl.

Nothing better to do.

ˈnəθɪŋ ˈbɛtər tɪ du.

How's Jimmy?

haʊz ˈʤɪmi?

Dumped me.

dəmpt mi.

Not again. And work?

nɑt əˈgɛn. ənd wərk?

They've sacked me.

ðeɪv sækt mi.

Idiots.

ˈɪˌdiəts.

Oh My God. My God!

oʊ maɪ gɑd. maɪ gɑd!

What?

wət?

It's her. It's her! That's her!

ɪts hər. ɪts hər! ðæts hər!

Sorry.

ˈsɑri.

Hi.

haɪ.

Hi. How are you?

haɪ. haʊ ər ju?

I'm... I'm fine.

əm... əm faɪn.

It's so good to see you.

ɪts soʊ gʊd tɪ si ju.

Um... We've never met before.

əm... wiv ˈnɛvər mɛt ˌbiˈfɔr.

Oh no, fuck. No, of course we haven't. No.

oʊ noʊ, fək. noʊ, əv kɔrs wi ˈhævənt. noʊ.

Sorry, I think you've mistaken me for someone else.

ˈsɑri, aɪ θɪŋk juv mɪˈsteɪkən mi fər ˈsəmˌwən ɛls.

No, no, no. Your name's Mary.

noʊ, noʊ, noʊ. jʊr neɪmz ˈmɛri.

That's distinctly weird. How do you know that?

ðæts dɪˈstɪŋktli wɪrd. haʊ du ju noʊ ðət?

Well, you look like a Mary.

wɛl, ju lʊk laɪk ə ˈmɛri.

In what way?

ɪn wət weɪ?

My mum's called Mary.

maɪ məmz kɔld ˈmɛri.

I look like your mother?

aɪ lʊk laɪk jʊr ˈməðər?

No. You're much prettier. It's a nice fringe, by the way.

noʊ. jʊr məʧ ˈprɪtiər. ɪts ə nis frɪnʤ, baɪ ðə weɪ.

God, it's new and probably too short but well, gee, thank you and listen, it was really nice to meet you. I should probably go because my friend's waiting for me and you're a total stranger. Total stranger.

gɑd, ɪts nu ənd ˈprɑbəˌbli tu ʃɔrt bət wɛl, ʤi, θæŋk ju ənd ˈlɪsən, ɪt wɑz ˈrɪli nis tɪ mit ju. aɪ ʃʊd ˈprɑbəˌbli goʊ bɪˈkəz maɪ frɛndz ˈweɪtɪŋ fər mi ənd jʊr ə ˈtoʊtəl ˈstreɪnʤər. ˈtoʊtəl ˈstreɪnʤər.

Yeah, it's crazy stuff.

jæ, ɪts ˈkreɪzi stəf.

Yeah, kind of. Okay.

jæ, kaɪnd əv. ˌoʊˈkeɪ.

Bye, Mary. Bye.

baɪ, ˈmɛri. baɪ.

Oh no.

oʊ noʊ.

How did it go?

haʊ dɪd ɪt goʊ?

It was very poor.

ɪt wɑz ˈvɛri pur.

Very poor?

ˈvɛri pur?

Very poor indeed, yeah.

ˈvɛri pur ˌɪnˈdid, jæ.

You have got to go again. You can do it.

ju hæv gɑt tɪ goʊ əˈgɛn. ju kən du ɪt.

Take two.

teɪk tu.

Sorry. it's me again.

ˈsɑri. ɪts mi əˈgɛn.

Joanna, this is...

ʤoʊˈænə, ðɪs ɪz...

Tim.

tɪm.

Hello. Nice to meet you.

hɛˈloʊ. nis tɪ mit ju.

Tim is a total stranger, whose mother's name is Mary.

tɪm ɪz ə ˈtoʊtəl ˈstreɪnʤər, huz ˈməðərz neɪm ɪz ˈmɛri.

Yeah, I just had a weird experience with Mary here of thinking she was someone else. But she wasn't. But I just wondered if I could walk round with you for a while because my sister Kit Kat is about to leave...

jæ, aɪ ʤɪst hæd ə wɪrd ɪkˈspɪriəns wɪθ ˈmɛri hir əv ˈθɪŋkɪŋ ʃi wɑz ˈsəmˌwən ɛls. bət ʃi ˈwəzənt. bət aɪ ʤɪst ˈwəndərd ɪf aɪ kʊd wɔk raʊnd wɪθ ju fər ə waɪl bɪˈkəz maɪ ˈsɪstər kɪt kæt ɪz əˈbaʊt tɪ liv...

Yeah. Bye...

jæ. baɪ...

And so, I'm about to be quite lonely.

ənd soʊ, əm əˈbaʊt tɪ bi kwaɪt ˈloʊnli.

Right. Well, I think we should probably say no.

raɪt. wɛl, aɪ θɪŋk wi ʃʊd ˈprɑbəˌbli seɪ noʊ.

No, yes. But on the other hand, he's got a quite nice smile and sort of, you know, fun hair.

noʊ, jɛs. bət ɔn ðə ˈəðər hænd, hiz gɑt ə kwaɪt nis smaɪl ənd sɔrt əv, ju noʊ, fən hɛr.

Yeah. All right. But you have to promise that you are not one of the following things. One, a lunatic.

jæ. ɔl raɪt. bət ju hæv tɪ ˈprɑməs ðət ju ər nɑt wən əv ðə ˈfɑloʊɪŋ θɪŋz. wən, ə ˈlunəˌtɪk.

Yeah. No.

jæ. noʊ.

Two, a fringe fetishist.

tu, ə frɪnʤ ˈfɛtɪʃɪst.

I'm just Kate Moss's number one male fan.

əm ʤɪst keɪt moss's ˈnəmbər wən meɪl fæn.

Oh God.

oʊ gɑd.

Really?

ˈrɪli?

Yeah. God, yeah.

jæ. gɑd, jæ.

Milk?

mɪlk?

Yes.

jɛs.

Sugar?

ˈʃʊgər?

No.

noʊ.

Boyfriend?

ˈbɔɪˌfrɛnd?

Yes!

jɛs!

No. No, you don't have a boyfriend.

noʊ. noʊ, ju doʊnt hæv ə ˈbɔɪˌfrɛnd.

Do I not look like I'd have a boyfriend? Do I look like I'd never get a boyfriend?

du aɪ nɑt lʊk laɪk aɪd hæv ə ˈbɔɪˌfrɛnd? du aɪ lʊk laɪk aɪd ˈnɛvər gɪt ə ˈbɔɪˌfrɛnd?

No. That's the rudest thing I've ever heard.

noʊ. ðæts ðə ˈrudəst θɪŋ aɪv ˈɛvər hərd.

No, no! I didn't mean it like that. I just didn't expect... Is it quite a new boyfriend?

noʊ, noʊ! aɪ ˈdɪdənt min ɪt laɪk ðət. aɪ ʤɪst ˈdɪdənt ɪkˈspɛkt... ɪz ɪt kwaɪt ə nu ˈbɔɪˌfrɛnd?

Yes. There he is. Rupert.

jɛs. ðɛr hi ɪz. ˈrupərt.

Rupert?

ˈrupərt?

Hi guys.

haɪ gaɪz.

Well, this is Tim and we don't know him at all.

wɛl, ðɪs ɪz tɪm ənd wi doʊnt noʊ ɪm æt ɔl.

When did you two meet? Exactly?

wɪn dɪd ju tu mit? ɪgˈzæktli?

Well, it was only a week ago, actually.

wɛl, ɪt wɑz ˈoʊnli ə wik əˈgoʊ, ˈæˌkʧuəli.

Come on, then. More details about this wonderful first meeting?

kəm ɔn, ðɛn. mɔr ˈditeɪlz əˈbaʊt ðɪs ˈwəndərfəl fərst ˈmitɪŋ?

Okay, okay. It was, um, what... Joanna?

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, ˌoʊˈkeɪ. ɪt wɑz, əm, wət... ʤoʊˈænə?

June 17th.

ʤun 17th.

And Jo was having a little party.

ənd ʤoʊ wɑz ˈhævɪŋ ə ˈlɪtəl ˈpɑrti.

And where was this terrible party?

ənd wɛr wɑz ðɪs ˈtɛrəbəl ˈpɑrti?

My brothel of a flat.

maɪ ˈbrɑθəl əv ə flæt.

Which is where, though? That's the question, isn't it.

wɪʧ ɪz wɛr, ðoʊ? ðæts ðə kˈwɛʃən, ˈɪzənt ɪt.

26 Courtfield Gardens, SW5. Around 8:30. Dress code, slutty. Will that do?

26 courtfield ˈgɑrdənz, sw5 əraʊnd 8:30 drɛs koʊd, sˈləˌti. wɪl ðət du?

Absolutely, yes. Although I am wondering when you got there, Rupert. Early? Late?

ˌæbsəˈlutli, jɛs. ˌɔlˈðoʊ aɪ æm ˈwəndərɪŋ wɪn ju gɑt ðɛr, ˈrupərt. ˈərli? leɪt?

On time, I think. True love was calling.

ɔn taɪm, aɪ θɪŋk. tru ləv wɑz ˈkɔlɪŋ.

Oh god. I actually feel a bit sick now. Just these muffins, I think. Never trust a blueberry. Okay, I'll be back in a tick.

oʊ gɑd. aɪ ˈæˌkʧuəli fil ə bɪt sɪk naʊ. ʤɪst ðiz ˈməfənz, aɪ θɪŋk. ˈnɛvər trəst ə ˈbluˌbɛri. ˌoʊˈkeɪ, aɪl bi bæk ɪn ə tɪk.

Bit weird.

bɪt wɪrd.

He's cute.

hiz kjut.

I like him.

aɪ laɪk ɪm.

Yeah, me too.

jæ, mi tu.