Бойфренд из будущего: Семейная тайна

7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year! Happy New Year!

7 6 5 4 3 2 1 ˈhæpi nu jɪr! ˈhæpi nu jɪr!

Happy New Year! Sorry.

ˈhæpi nu jɪr! ˈsɑri.

And so I woke up the next morning hung over, ashamed of my self, and not realizing it was the day that would change my life forever.

ənd soʊ aɪ woʊk əp ðə nɛkst ˈmɔrnɪŋ həŋ ˈoʊvər, əˈʃeɪmd əv maɪ sɛlf, ənd nɑt ˈriəˌlaɪzɪŋ ɪt wɑz ðə deɪ ðət wʊd ʧeɪnʤ maɪ laɪf fərˈɛvər.

Tim, come in. Do sit down.

tɪm, kəm ɪn. du sɪt daʊn.

That's very formal.

ðæts ˈvɛri ˈfɔrməl.

Well, um, yeah. This is an odd moment for me because I had

wɛl, əm, jæ. ðɪs ɪz ən ɑd ˈmoʊmənt fər mi bɪˈkəz aɪ hæd

the same moment with my father when I'd just turned 21, and after it, my life was never the same, so I approach it pretty, um,

ðə seɪm ˈmoʊmənt wɪθ maɪ ˈfɑðər wɪn aɪd ʤɪst tərnd 21 ənd ˈæftər ɪt, maɪ laɪf wɑz ˈnɛvər ðə seɪm, soʊ aɪ əˈproʊʧ ɪt ˈprɪti, əm,

nervously.

ˈnərvəsli.

Okay. When you're ready. It's all very mysterious.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ. wɪn jʊr ˈrɛdi. ɪts ɔl ˈvɛri mɪˈstɪriəs.

Right. Tim, my dear son, the ... the simple fact is the men in this family have always had the ability to ...

raɪt. tɪm, maɪ dɪr sən, ðə ðə ˈsɪmpəl fækt ɪz ðə mɛn ɪn ðɪs ˈfæməli hæv ˈɔlˌweɪz hæd ðə əˈbɪləˌti tɪ

This is going to sound strange, be prepared for strangeness. Get ready for spooky time, but there's this family secret.

ðɪs ɪz goʊɪŋ tɪ saʊnd streɪnʤ, bi priˈpɛrd fər ˈstreɪnʤnəs. gɪt ˈrɛdi fər ˈspuki taɪm, bət ðɛrz ðɪs ˈfæməli ˈsikrɪt.

And the secret is that the men in the family can travel in time. Well, more accurately, travel back in time. We can't travel

ənd ðə ˈsikrɪt ɪz ðət ðə mɛn ɪn ðə ˈfæməli kən ˈtrævəl ɪn taɪm. wɛl, mɔr ˈækjərətli, ˈtrævəl bæk ɪn taɪm. wi kænt ˈtrævəl

into the future.

ˈɪntu ðə fˈjuʧər.

This is such a weird joke.

ðɪs ɪz səʧ ə wɪrd ʤoʊk.

It's seriously not a joke.

ɪts ˈsɪriəsli nɑt ə ʤoʊk.

So you're saying that you and granddad, and his brothers could all travel back in time?

soʊ jʊr seɪɪŋ ðət ju ənd ˈgrænˌdæd, ənd hɪz ˈbrəðərz kʊd ɔl ˈtrævəl bæk ɪn taɪm?

Absolutely.

ˌæbsəˈlutli.

And you still do?

ənd ju stɪl du?

Absolutely. Although it's not as dramatic as it sounds. It's only in my own life. I can only go to places where I actually was and can remember.

ˌæbsəˈlutli. ˌɔlˈðoʊ ɪts nɑt ɛz drəˈmætɪk ɛz ɪt saʊnz. ɪts ˈoʊnli ɪn maɪ oʊn laɪf. aɪ kən ˈoʊnli goʊ tɪ ˈpleɪsɪz wɛr aɪ ˈæˌkʧuəli wɑz ənd kən rɪˈmɛmbər.

I can't kill Hitler or shag Helen of Troy, unfortunately.

aɪ kænt kɪl ˈhɪtlər ər ʃæg ˈhɛlən əv trɔɪ, ənˈfɔrʧənətli.

Okay, stop. Um… if it's true, which it isn't.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ, stɑp. um…… ɪf ɪts tru, wɪʧ ɪt ˈɪzənt.

Although it is.

ˌɔlˈðoʊ ɪt ɪz.

Although it isn't, obviously. But if it was, which it's not.

ˌɔlˈðoʊ ɪt ˈɪzənt, ˈɑbviəsli. bət ɪf ɪt wɑz, wɪʧ ɪts nɑt.

Which it is.

wɪʧ ɪt ɪz.

Which it isn't. But if it was, how would I actually...

wɪʧ ɪt ˈɪzənt. bət ɪf ɪt wɑz, haʊ wʊd aɪ ˈæˌkʧuəli...

The how is the easy bit, in fact. You go into a dark place – big cupboards are very useful generally. Toilets, in a pinch.

ðə haʊ ɪz ðə ˈizi bɪt, ɪn fækt. ju goʊ ˈɪntu ə dɑrk pleɪs – bɪg ˈkəbərdz ər ˈvɛri ˈjusfəl ˈʤɛnərəli. ˈtɔɪləts, ɪn ə pɪnʧ.

Then you clench your fists like this. Think of the moment you're going to and you'll find yourself there. After a bit of a stumble and a rumble and a tumble.

ðɛn ju klɛnʧ jʊr fɪsts laɪk ðɪs. θɪŋk əv ðə ˈmoʊmənt jʊr goʊɪŋ tɪ ənd jul faɪnd ˈjɔrsɛlf ðɛr. ˈæftər ə bɪt əv ə ˈstəmbəl ənd ə ˈrəmbəl ənd ə ˈtəmbəl.

Wow…

wow……

…is as good a reaction as any. I think I went for fuuuuuuck! But it was the '70s.

……is ɛz gʊd ə riˈækʃən ɛz ˈɛni. aɪ θɪŋk aɪ wɛnt fər fuuuuuuck! bət ɪt wɑz ðə 70s.

No, this is so obviously a joke.

noʊ, ðɪs ɪz soʊ ˈɑbviəsli ə ʤoʊk.

It's not a joke. Why would I lie to someone I'm fairly fond of?

ɪts nɑt ə ʤoʊk. waɪ wʊd aɪ laɪ tɪ ˈsəmˌwən əm ˈfɛrli fɑnd əv?

Okay. But, when I come back downstairs after standing in a cupboard with your fists clenched, you're going to be in so much trouble.

ˌoʊˈkeɪ. bət, wɪn aɪ kəm bæk ˈdaʊnˈstɛrz ˈæftər ˈstændɪŋ ɪn ə ˈkəbərd wɪθ jʊr fɪsts klɛnʧt, jʊr goʊɪŋ tɪ bi ɪn soʊ məʧ ˈtrəbəl.

Well, let's see, shall we? And, Tim, try and do something interesting.

wɛl, lɛts si, ʃæl wi? ənd, tɪm, traɪ ənd du ˈsəmθɪŋ ˈɪntəˌrɛstɪŋ.

So much trouble. I mean it. Really.

soʊ məʧ ˈtrəbəl. aɪ min ɪt. ˈrɪli.

Come on. It's nearly midnight.

kəm ɔn. ɪts ˈnɪrli ˈmɪdˌnaɪt.

Right.

raɪt.

Wow!

waʊ!

6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year!

6 5 4 3 2 1 ˈhæpi nu jɪr!

Thank you, Tim.

θæŋk ju, tɪm.

You're welcome, Polly.

jʊr ˈwɛlkəm, ˈpɑli.