Люди в чёрном: Оружейная лавка

So who exactly are you with? F.B.I.? N.S.A.?

soʊ hu ɪgˈzæktli ər ju wɪθ? f.b.i.? n.s.a.?

I'm part of a bureau that licenses, monitors and polices alien activity on the planet Earth.

əm pɑrt əv ə ˈbjʊroʊ ðət ˈlaɪsənsɪz, ˈmɑnətərz ənd pəˈlisɪz ˈeɪliən ækˈtɪvɪti ɔn ðə ˈplænət ərθ.

Whatever.

ˌwəˈtɛvər.

We're here.

wɪr hir.

This is where we're going?

ðɪs ɪz wɛr wɪr goʊɪŋ?

Yeah.

jæ.

This is Jack Jeebs' spot. He buys from chain snatchers. He doesn't even sell guns.

ðɪs ɪz ʤæk jeebs' spɑt. hi baɪz frəm ʧeɪn sˈnæʧərz. hi ˈdəzənt ˈivɪn sɛl gənz.

Really?

ˈrɪli?

Officer Eduardo. How did these get here? I thought I turned these into the proper authorities.

ˈɔfɪsər ɛdˈwɑrdoʊ. haʊ dɪd ðiz gɪt hir? aɪ θɔt aɪ tərnd ðiz ˈɪntu ðə ˈprɑpər əˈθɔrətiz.

The way I hear it, Jeebs, you're into something a little hotter than some stolen Rolexes.

ðə weɪ aɪ hir ɪt, jeebs, jʊr ˈɪntu ˈsəmθɪŋ ə ˈlɪtəl ˈhɑtər ðən səm ˈstoʊlən rolexes.

Well, I'm a huge crack dealer now, but I work here because I love the hours.

wɛl, əm ə juʤ kræk ˈdilər naʊ, bət aɪ wərk hir bɪˈkəz aɪ ləv ðə aʊərz.

I'm talking about guns, smart ass. Weird ones!

əm ˈtɔkɪŋ əˈbaʊt gənz, smɑrt æs. wɪrd wənz!

Come on. Edwards. What you see is what I got.

kəm ɔn. ˈɛdwərdz. wət ju si ɪz wət aɪ gɑt.

Why don't you show him the imports, Jeebs?

waɪ doʊnt ju ʃoʊ ɪm ðə ˌɪmˈpɔrts, jeebs?

Hi Kay. How are you?

haɪ keɪ. haʊ ər ju?

Show him the imports right now.

ʃoʊ ɪm ðə ˌɪmˈpɔrts raɪt naʊ.

I got out of that business a long time ago.

aɪ gɑt aʊt əv ðət ˈbɪznɪs ə lɔŋ taɪm əˈgoʊ.

Why do you lie to me, Jeebs? I hate it when you lie.

waɪ du ju laɪ tɪ mi, jeebs? aɪ heɪt ɪt wɪn ju laɪ.

Just hold on a second.

ʤɪst hoʊld ɔn ə ˈsɛkənd.

I'm going to count to three.

əm goʊɪŋ tɪ kaʊnt tɪ θri.

He\’ll do it, Jeebs.

he\’ll du ɪt, jeebs.

One.

wən.

I’m telling you, that man does not look stable.

i’m ˈtɛlɪŋ ju, ðət mæn dɪz nɑt lʊk ˈsteɪbəl.

Two.

tu.

But you know what. Talk to me. He is just crazy when he's like this.

bət ju noʊ wət. tɔk tɪ mi. hi ɪz ʤɪst ˈkreɪzi wɪn hiz laɪk ðɪs.

He's always crazy. Why don't you get a massage? Take a cruise.

hiz ˈɔlˌweɪz ˈkreɪzi. waɪ doʊnt ju gɪt ə məˈsɑʒ? teɪk ə kruz.

Three.

θri.

Drop the weapon. Hands on your head!

drɔp ðə ˈwɛpən. hænz ɔn jʊr hɛd!

I warned him.

aɪ wɔrnd ɪm.

Drop the weapon!

drɔp ðə ˈwɛpən!

You warned him.

ju wɔrnd ɪm.

Don't make me kill you.

doʊnt meɪk mi kɪl ju.

You insensitive prick! Do you have any idea how much that stings?

ju ˌɪnˈsɛnsɪtɪv prɪk! du ju hæv ˈɛni aɪˈdiə haʊ məʧ ðət stɪŋz?

Show us the merchandise or you'll lose another head, Jeebs. Mr. Edwards?

ʃoʊ ˈjuˈɛs ðə ˈmərʧənˌdaɪz ər jul luz əˈnəðər hɛd, jeebs. ˈmɪstər. ˈɛdwərdz?

Right there. The one in the middle.

raɪt ðɛr. ðə wən ɪn ðə ˈmɪdəl.

You sold a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacity to an unlicensed cephlapoid! Jeebs, you piece of--

ju soʊld ə rɪˈvərbərˌeɪtɪŋ carbonizer wɪθ mˈjuˌteɪt kəˈpæsɪti tɪ ən ənˈlaɪsənst cephlapoid! jeebs, ju pis əv--

He looked all right to me.

hi lʊkt ɔl raɪt tɪ mi.

It must have been for an assassination. Who's the target?

ɪt məst hæv bɪn fər ən əˌsæsəˈneɪʃən. huz ðə ˈtərgət?

You know I don't know.

ju noʊ aɪ doʊnt noʊ.

Goddamn it, Jeebs!

ˌgɑˈdæm ɪt, jeebs!

I don't know!

aɪ doʊnt noʊ!

All that's confiscated. I want you on the next transport off this rock, or I'll shoot you where it don't grow back.

ɔl ðæts ˈkɑnfəˌskeɪtəd. aɪ wɔnt ju ɔn ðə nɛkst ˈtrænspɔrt ɔf ðɪs rɑk, ər aɪl ʃut ju wɛr ɪt doʊnt groʊ bæk.

And I'm going to be back to talk about them Rolexes.

ənd əm goʊɪŋ tɪ bi bæk tɪ tɔk əˈbaʊt ðɛm rolexes.

Searching for a handle on the moment? I can't help you. The only comfort I can offer is my promise that tomorrow morning you won't remember a thing.

ˈsərʧɪŋ fər ə ˈhændəl ɔn ðə ˈmoʊmənt? aɪ kænt hɛlp ju. ðə ˈoʊnli ˈkəmfərt aɪ kən ˈɔfər ɪz maɪ ˈprɑməs ðət təˈmɑˌroʊ ˈmɔrnɪŋ ju woʊnt rɪˈmɛmbər ə θɪŋ.

Well that's not exactly some shit you just forget.

wɛl ðæts nɑt ɪgˈzæktli səm ʃɪt ju ʤɪst fərˈgɛt.

Ever seen one of these?

ˈɛvər sin wən əv ðiz?

She looks over to her husband then sets it back down in her lap and says, “Honey, this one's eating my popcorn.” Get it?

ʃi lʊks ˈoʊvər tɪ hər ˈhəzbənd ðɛn sɛts ɪt bæk daʊn ɪn hər læp ənd sɪz, ““honey, ðɪs wənz ˈitɪŋ maɪ popcorn.”.” gɪt ɪt?

Yeah.

jæ.

I gotta go. Thanks for the egg rolls, kid.

aɪ ˈgɑtə goʊ. θæŋks fər ðə ɛg roʊlz, kɪd.

Wait a minute. Who are you?

weɪt ə ˈmɪnət. hu ər ju?

See what I mean about tequila? You're a bright young man, James. But you need to lay off the sauce. I'll see you bright and early, 9:00. Be there, or be square.

si wət aɪ min əˈbaʊt təˈkilə? jʊr ə braɪt jəŋ mæn, ʤeɪmz. bət ju nid tɪ leɪ ɔf ðə sɔs. aɪl si ju braɪt ənd ˈərli, 9:00 bi ðɛr, ər bi skwɛr.