Иммиграционное танго

You know, your visa expires in 20 days, so if I were you, I'd make some travel arrangements. Otherwise, you'll be coming back here for an extended stay.

ju noʊ, jʊr ˈvizə ɪkˈspaɪərz ɪn 20 deɪz, soʊ ɪf aɪ wər ju, aɪd meɪk səm ˈtrævəl ərˈeɪnʤmənts. ˈəðərˌwaɪz, jul bi ˈkəmɪŋ bæk hir fər ən ɪkˈstɛndɪd steɪ.

Where is Carlos?

wɛr ɪz ˈkɑrloʊs?

In the car. This place makes him a little jumpy.

ɪn ðə kɑr. ðɪs pleɪs meɪks ɪm ə ˈlɪtəl ˈʤəmpi.

The agent said they had received reliable information that my status had expired.

ðə ˈeɪʤənt sɛd ðeɪ hæd rɪˈsivd rɪˈlaɪəbəl ˌɪnˌfɔrˈmeɪʃən ðət maɪ ˈstætəs hæd ɪkˈspaɪrd.

That is bullshit! Can't we sue the police, or hire a lawyer or something?

ðət ɪz ˈbʊlˌʃɪt! kænt wi su ðə pəˈlis, ər haɪər ə ˈlɔjər ər ˈsəmθɪŋ?

(in Spanish) No pudemos pagar, mi amor.

(ɪn ˈspænɪʃ) noʊ pudemos ˈpægər, mi ˈæmər.

What'd she say?

ˈwətɪd ʃi seɪ?

No money for lawyers.

noʊ ˈməni fər ˈlɔjərz.

Well maybe I could do it. I'm almost a lawyer.

wɛl ˈmeɪbi aɪ kʊd du ɪt. əm ˈɔlˌmoʊst ə ˈlɔjər.

Oh boy.

oʊ bɔɪ.

There are basically two ways to immigrate into the US: through an employer or family member.

ðɛr ər ˈbeɪsɪkli tu weɪz tɪ ˈɪməˌgreɪt ˈɪntu ðə ˈjuˈɛs: θru ən ɪmˈplɔɪər ər ˈfæməli ˈmɛmbər.

We don't have either one.

wi doʊnt hæv ˈiðər wən.

I know. So your only hope is winning the visa lottery.

aɪ noʊ. soʊ jʊr ˈoʊnli hoʊp ɪz ˈwɪnɪŋ ðə ˈvizə ˈlɑtəri.

What is that?

wət ɪz ðət?

It's a lottery for green cards.

ɪts ə ˈlɑtəri fər grin kɑrdz.

And what are our chances?

ənd wət ər ɑr ˈʧænsɪz?

About the same as winning the Powerball. The only way you can legally stay in the US is for you to find a US citizen to marry. The same for you, Carlos.

əˈbaʊt ðə seɪm ɛz ˈwɪnɪŋ ðə ˈpaʊərˌbɔl. ðə ˈoʊnli weɪ ju kən ˈligəli steɪ ɪn ðə ˈjuˈɛs ɪz fər ju tɪ faɪnd ə ˈjuˈɛs ˈsɪtɪzən tɪ ˈmɛri. ðə seɪm fər ju, ˈkɑrloʊs.

It's not a bad idea. It's a pretty good idea.

ɪts nɑt ə bæd aɪˈdiə. ɪts ə ˈprɪti gʊd aɪˈdiə.

What?

wət?

Come on, it wouldn't be so hard to find somebody to marry you.

kəm ɔn, ɪt ˈwʊdənt bi soʊ hɑrd tɪ faɪnd ˈsəmˌbɑdi tɪ ˈmɛri ju.

We could pay somebody, yeah? I mean...

wi kʊd peɪ ˈsəmˌbɑdi, jæ? aɪ min...

They don't have any money. Neither do we.

ðeɪ doʊnt hæv ˈɛni ˈməni. ˈniðər du wi.

We could chip in.

wi kʊd ʧɪp ɪn.

We don't need any money; they would marry her for free. And I would marry a rich white guy too.

wi doʊnt nid ˈɛni ˈməni; ðeɪ wʊd ˈmɛri hər fər fri. ənd aɪ wʊd ˈmɛri ə rɪʧ waɪt gaɪ tu.

Are you crazy?

ər ju ˈkreɪzi?

Yes.

jɛs.

That's illegal; you have to marry a woman.

ðæts ˌɪˈligəl; ju hæv tɪ ˈmɛri ə ˈwʊmən.

Fine! I'll marry a rich white girl. It doesn't matter. I'm handsome. What's so funny? I'm serious.

faɪn! aɪl ˈmɛri ə rɪʧ waɪt gərl. ɪt ˈdəzənt ˈmætər. əm ˈhænsəm. wəts soʊ ˈfəni? əm ˈsɪriəs.

No ... that might actually work! I mean I mean, if you're game, I'm game. Why not?

noʊ ðət maɪt ˈæˌkʧuəli wərk! aɪ min aɪ min, ɪf jʊr geɪm, əm geɪm. waɪ nɑt?

What wait, this is way over my head. Let's find a real lawyer.

wət weɪt, ðɪs ɪz weɪ ˈoʊvər maɪ hɛd. lɛts faɪnd ə ril ˈlɔjər.

You want to what?

ju wɔnt tɪ wət?

Betty, you said you wanted to help them out.

ˈbɛti, ju sɛd ju ˈwɔntɪd tɪ hɛlp ðɛm aʊt.

Yeah help – donate time to the cause, give free legal advice. But not you.

jæ hɛlp – ˈdoʊˌneɪt taɪm tɪ ðə kɔz, gɪv fri ˈligəl ədˈvaɪs. bət nɑt ju.

This is something I want to do and I know it's going to be tough. But look, maybe this is something we need.

ðɪs ɪz ˈsəmθɪŋ aɪ wɔnt tɪ du ənd aɪ noʊ ɪts goʊɪŋ tɪ bi təf. bət lʊk, ˈmeɪbi ðɪs ɪz ˈsəmθɪŋ wi nid.

This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. We do not need this. Our lives are perfectly fine just the way they are.

ðɪs ɪz ðə ˈstupɪdəst θɪŋ aɪv ˈɛvər hərd. wi du nɑt nid ðɪs. ɑr lɪvz ər ˈpərfəktli faɪn ʤɪst ðə weɪ ðeɪ ər.

This is Elena. And in this case, it really is just a piece of paper. They're our best friends.

ðɪs ɪz ˌɛˈleɪnɑ. ənd ɪn ðɪs keɪs, ɪt ˈrɪli ɪz ʤɪst ə pis əv ˈpeɪpər. ðɛr ɑr bɛst frɛndz.

I know.

aɪ noʊ.

Well, then let's do it! What's the worst that could happen?

wɛl, ðɛn lɛts du ɪt! wəts ðə wərst ðət kʊd ˈhæpən?

So how long do we have to stay married?

soʊ haʊ lɔŋ du wi hæv tɪ steɪ ˈmɛrid?

Two years, that's a long time. And it's serious. I have to state again that Congress has devoted an entire act for the penalties in engaging in marriage fraud. I could be disbarred before I even finish law school.

tu jɪrz, ðæts ə lɔŋ taɪm. ənd ɪts ˈsɪriəs. aɪ hæv tɪ steɪt əˈgɛn ðət ˈkɑŋgrəs həz dɪˈvoʊtɪd ən ɪnˈtaɪər ækt fər ðə ˈpɛnəltiz ɪn ɪnˈgeɪʤɪŋ ɪn ˈmɛrɪʤ frɔd. aɪ kʊd bi dɪsˈbɑrd ˌbiˈfɔr aɪ ˈivɪn ˈfɪnɪʃ lɔ skul.

She's right. This isn't something to rush into.

ʃiz raɪt. ðɪs ˈɪzənt ˈsəmθɪŋ tɪ rəʃ ˈɪntu.

You're the one who's running out of time.

jʊr ðə wən huz ˈrənɪŋ aʊt əv taɪm.

Marriage is supposed to be a sacred commitment.

ˈmɛrɪʤ ɪz səˈpoʊzd tɪ bi ə ˈseɪkrɪd kəˈmɪtmənt.

We'll still be couples. It's just she'll be married to Carlos, and I'll be married to you. Nothing will change.

wɪl stɪl bi ˈkəpəlz. ɪts ʤɪst ʃil bi ˈmɛrid tɪ ˈkɑrloʊs, ənd aɪl bi ˈmɛrid tɪ ju. ˈnəθɪŋ wɪl ʧeɪnʤ.

Hey, wait a second. I still have 6 months left on my visa.

heɪ, weɪt ə ˈsɛkənd. aɪ stɪl hæv 6 mənθs lɛft ɔn maɪ ˈvizə.

OK, then I'll go first. Elena, do you want to get married to me?

ˈoʊˈkeɪ, ðɛn aɪl goʊ fərst. ˌɛˈleɪnɑ, du ju wɔnt tɪ gɪt ˈmɛrid tɪ mi?

I don't know.

aɪ doʊnt noʊ.

I guess it's the only way.

aɪ gɛs ɪts ðə ˈoʊnli weɪ.

You guys are our best friends and to give us this opportunity to remain here together. I don't know what to say.

ju gaɪz ər ɑr bɛst frɛndz ənd tɪ gɪv ˈjuˈɛs ðɪs ˌɑpərˈtunəti tɪ rɪˈmeɪn hir təˈgɛðər. aɪ doʊnt noʊ wət tɪ seɪ.

Then say yes.

ðɛn seɪ jɛs.

By the power invested in me by the state of Alabama, I now pronounce you man and wife. Or woman and husband, whatever be your fancy. You may now kiss the bride. Anytime today son.

baɪ ðə paʊər ˌɪnˈvɛstɪd ɪn mi baɪ ðə steɪt əv ˌæləˈbæmə, aɪ naʊ prəˈnaʊns ju mæn ənd waɪf. ər ˈwʊmən ənd ˈhəzbənd, ˌwəˈtɛvər bi jʊr ˈfænsi. ju meɪ naʊ kɪs ðə braɪd. ˈɛniˌtaɪm təˈdeɪ sən.

What the hell was that? Put your arms around her! Give her some tongue, son!

wət ðə hɛl wɑz ðət? pʊt jʊr ɑrmz əraʊnd hər! gɪv hər səm təŋ, sən!

We're just a little shy.

wɪr ʤɪst ə ˈlɪtəl ʃaɪ.

Did it flash? You need to kiss her again – it didn't flash. Sorry man, kiss her like you mean it, like a man.

dɪd ɪt flæʃ? ju nid tɪ kɪs hər əˈgɛn – ɪt ˈdɪdənt flæʃ. ˈsɑri mæn, kɪs hər laɪk ju min ɪt, laɪk ə mæn.

Right on! Hubba hubba!

raɪt ɔn! hubba hubba!

OK, I'll take a picture.

ˈoʊˈkeɪ, aɪl teɪk ə ˈpɪkʧər.

Hold on. Let me get on the other side. Hold on Ok.

hoʊld ɔn. lɛt mi gɪt ɔn ðə ˈəðər saɪd. hoʊld ɔn ˈoʊˈkeɪ.

One, two, three

wən, tu, θri

Perfect. One with the ring! One with the ring! One more!

ˈpərˌfɪkt. wən wɪθ ðə rɪŋ! wən wɪθ ðə rɪŋ! wən mɔr!

Congratulations.

kənˌgræʧəˈleɪʃənz.

We're next, baby!

wɪr nɛkst, ˈbeɪbi!

Oh, god.

oʊ, gɑd.

Ok, Ok, Ok, Ok. She's still my girlfriend.

ˈoʊˈkeɪ, ˈoʊˈkeɪ, ˈoʊˈkeɪ, ˈoʊˈkeɪ. ʃiz stɪl maɪ ˈgərlˌfrɛnd.

Take it easy. You just got married. Finally.

teɪk ɪt ˈizi. ju ʤɪst gɑt ˈmɛrid. ˈfaɪnəli.